NFL Picks Week 7

And now, my weekly post of predictions for the NFL scores this Sunday.

The Early Games:


Green Bay @ Cleveland:

Tony, my friend and co-worker at the NFL Mix is a Browns fan. Why? I don't know. He needed a team when he started working there a few years ago so he chose them, there was no real reason for this choice. While I commend him for his brave venture it just goes to show that there's really no reason for anyone to be a Browns fan.

Packers: 27-10


San Diego @ Kansas City:

The Chargers have seemed to feel like they're entitled to something ever since they went 14-2 in '06, which might explain why they've gotten off to a slow start the last few years. On the bright side, at least only one of them choked Tila Tequila. (By the way, NEVER try to make her a victim.) They'll pull it together enough to beat KC though.

Chargers: 23-20


Indianapolis @ St. Louis:

Has anybody else noticed the Rams are really shitty?

Colts: 42-6


Minnesota @ Pittsburgh:

Two QBs who just love havin' fun. Pick-up football with the boys, ridin' motorcycles, showboatin' without reproach, gettin' sacked, painkillers, rapin'.

Steelers: 24-16 (The fans will be the real winners.)


New England @ Tampa Bay (In London):

If you went to a soccer match and one of them was nicknamed the Vietcong would you boo them?

Patriots: 34-9


San Francisco @ Houston:

The Texans might be turning things around after a road win against the Bengals last week. And even if they aren't they're playing the Niners this week, so a win is in the cards.

Texans 28-20


Afternoon Games:

Buffalo @ Carolina:

Oh God who cares! They couldn't pay me to watch this game. Actually, I take that back, they'll pay me and I'll watch.

Panthers: 17-16


New York Jets @ Oakland:

Games played in Oakland always just look and feel so unimportant. I don't blame the Eagles for losing last week. They were probably thinking, "Wait, that was the actual game we just played? I thought we were doing a scrimmage at a high school or something. There was painted dirt on the field for Christ's sake!" In that same vain, this game won't be in the NFL Mix because it isn't a sell out. We call these games Stingers because that guy never sold out!

Jets: 13-6


Atlanta @ Dallas:

Here's hoping DeMarcus Ware gets injured.

Falcons: 27-24


Chicago @ Cincinnati:

The Bengals D is going to try to wipe that stupid look off Jay Cutler's face. They'll give up around the start of the 4th when they realize that's just what he looks like.

Bengals: 20-16


New Orleans @ Miami:

A lot of people like the 'Phins to upset the Saints in this one. And while they might upset them with their annoying offense, Miami won't actually win.

Saints: 28-23


Sunday Night

Arizona @ New York Giants:

The teacher comes back to face the student. Warner vs. Eli. By the time this one gets underway America will have been waiting a long time for it ... about 45 minutes since the end of the 1 o'clock games.

Giants: 27-17


Monday Night

Philadelphia @ Washington:

Just like every week Monday features the best match-up. My trademark "Wacky Pick of the Week" is that Jim Zorn will be executed with 1:34 remaining in the 2nd quarter by a sniper who was hired by Daniel Snyder. Zorn's replacement? Tom Cruise who, ironically, will be doing research for his role in the upcoming Jim Zorn bio-pic.

Eagles: 30-14


There they are. And as always, if I nail one exactly I take myself out for a Blizzard.