Super Bowl XLVI

It's time for the Super Bowl!!! (Right now you should be imagining a laser light show accompanied by techno music. Having trouble? This will help. You should really watch all 7 minutes, but if you think you have better things to do skip to the 2:40 mark for an express pump-up.) Personally I couldn't be more jazzed, finally the season will come to an end and we can all figure out something else to do on Sundays other than drink and watch football all day ... awww shit.

***

After spending the last 45 minutes meditating (crying) (why did I type that!?) I'm now ready to break down this game. The Giants biggest strength, their pass rush, has the ability to neutralize the Pats biggest strength, their passing game. Meanwhile, the Pats biggest weakness, their pass D, can easily be exploited by the Giants. This will most likely be the difference in the game. Another difference in this game is that it's for the NFL title, making it very different from other games. As for the actual difference in scores at the end of the game, because it's a Super Bowl involving the Belichick Patriots the margin will obviously be three.

Giants 27-24


Now let's take a look at some prop bets:

-First team to score: Patriots

-First score of the game: Field Goal

-Player to score first TD: Jake Ballard

-Will Madonna's muscular old arms gross me out at halftime: Yes

-Over/Under 3.5 shots of Peyton Manning: Over

-Will I realize during the game that I don't like either of these teams and that any conclusion will ultimately be unsatisfying: Yes

-Will Lawrence Tynes make a big kick and hug his placeholder, resulting in Chris Berman somehow overriding NBC's broadcast to shout "Hold me closer Tyney dancer!": Most likely

-MVP: Eli Manning (no need to over think it, in 4 of the last 5 Super Bowls the winning QB has been named MVP)


Well that does it. Thanks for hanging in there all season guy(s). I think I speak for the whole HCM writing staff when I say, see you in September!

Seahawk Football

After an up and down first couple months of the season, the Seahawks are a half game out of first place.



IN THE NFC MUTHA TRUCKAS!!!!

Bring that shit to Qwest!!!!

WE'RE GOING TO THE SUPERBOWL!!!!!

Bill Leavy

So Bill Leavy apologized for screwing over the Seahawks in the Superbowl today. Seriously. (Do yourself a favor and stay away from the comments unless you want to be encouraged to commit homicide.)

Oh and Bill, thanks a pantload chet! I'm glad you can't sleep at night. Cuz I'll never sleep soundly until Seattle (any team) wins a fucking championship. Here's hoping all the bottles of MacCutcheon in the world can't chase away those nightmares.

Oh and one more special message from the folks at HCM. Sleep tight asshole.

NFL Playoffs

I know! Who cares right? I sure as hell don't. But I did take a look at the teams who made it, and decided to rank who I'd be rooting for, (I'd be happy to explain myself to anyone who asks). Typically the teams I'd like to see win do pretty, preeeeeeetty, pretttyyyyyyyyy good... so good luck fellas:

NFC:
1. Saints
2. Eagles
3. Packers
4. Vikings
5. Cardinals
6. Cowboys

AFC:
1. Chargers
2. Bengals
3. Colts
4. Jets
5. Ravens
6. Patriots

So in other words...


I hope you're all looking forward to a Cowboys/Patriots Superbowl. YAY!

Ugh.

Worst. Superbowl. Ever.