Curt Schilling on The One True King

Maybe Curt isn't the giant doo doo head I thought he was:

http://espn.go.com/video/clip?id=6195082&categoryid=2521705

The 1989 Cleveland Indians

A few names in the press as of late and I thought it might be fun to take a walk down memory lane. 1989 Cleveland Indians were a magical team to be sure. A real cinderella story if there ever was one.

However, the years have not been as kind to Chief Whaoo's Tribe. The last 12 months have been especially rough.

Let's take a look...

Willie "Mays" Hays: currently serving time for tax evasion.

Lou Brown: passed away. RIP.

Jake Taylor: a victim of identity fraud. A person posing as Taylor infiltrated the dreams of others to perform corporate espionage. YIKES!

and Rick Vaughn: well... in the words of the legendary Harry Doyal, he has gone "OFF the Reservation".

Roger Dorn? Haven't heard shit! Get to work Dorn. Rob a bank or some shit. At least it gives me a chance to show this pic:

And don't even get me started on Mitchell Freedman.

Even after all that... I'd still take this crew against any other team in the league right now. Well except for this legendary squad that the M's are putting on the field in '11.

Hey!!! Baseball! Right guys!

Is it baseball season yet?!?!

I think pitchers and catchers (settle down Bateman) report soon, and if you're not fired up yet... well, check this out: One of the legendary scenes from Major League where Lou Brown may or may not have cut Rick Vaughn (I don't want to spoil anything for you, just watch). Only in this case Mr. Charlie Sheen has been replaced by your friendly neighborhood Spiderman. I know. It makes sense. Enjoy:

Rumor has it... this is just the first in a series. WOW!!!! WE CAN ONLY HOPE!!!!

The One True King

Buster Olney has a new video blog up on some other sports news site.

Watch the video.

http://espn.go.com/video/clip?id=6107908

Well... that cheered me up!

Baseball Predictions

With the baseball season a good three and a half weeks old I decided it was time to post the predictions for the season that Finn and I submitted before the season in the hope that our fellow party hosts would do the same. With those hopes still unfulfilled, and no real sign of a change in that status on the horizon, here are the official HCM predictions for the MLB in 2010:

Mr. F

AL WEST

Mariners

Angels

Rangers

A's

AL CENTRAL

Twins

Tigers

White Sox

Indians

Royals

AL EAST

Yankees

Red Sox (WC)

Rays

Orioles

Blue Jays

AL MVP

Milton Bradley
AL CY YOUNG
King Felix

NL WEST

D-backs

Dodgers

Rockies

Giants

Padres

NL CENTRAL

St. Louis

Cubs

Brewers

Reds

Pirates

Astros

NL EAST

Phillies

Braves (WC)

Marlins

Mets

Nationals

NL CY YOUNG
Roy Halladay

NL MVP

Albert Pujols

NL PLAYOFFS

St. Louis over Atlanta

Philly over Arizona

Philly over St. Louis

AL PLAYOFFS
Seattle over Boston
New York over Minnesota

Seattle over New York

WORLD SERIES
Seattle over Philadelphia

MVP Cliff Lee (oh sweet irony)

Erik

NL East:
Philadelphia
Florida - WC
Atlanta
NY Mets
Washington

NL Central:
St. Louis
Milwaukee
Cincinnati
Chicago Cubs
Houston
Pittsburgh

NL West:
Colorado
Los Angeles
San Francisco
Arizona
San Diego

AL East:
NY Yankees
Tampa Bay - WC
Boston
Baltimore
Toronto

AL Central:
Minnesota
Detroit
Chicago White Sox
Cleveland
Kansas City

AL West:
Seattle
Texas
Anaheim
Oakland

NL PLAYOFFS:
St. Louis over Florida
Philadelphia over Colorado

Philadelphia over St. Louis

AL PLAYOFFS:
Seattle over Tampa Bay
NY Yankees over Minnesota

Seattle over NY Yankees

WORLD SERIES:
Seattle over Philadelphia

NL MVP: Albert Pujols (why pick anyone else at this point?)
NL Cy Young: Ubaldo Jimenez

AL MVP: Ichiro
AL Cy Young: Felix Hernandez

And no, I still haven't figured out how to use the "Read More" function.
.

Joel Pineiro sign with the Angels?!?!

I know I'm a little late to the party on this one, but JOEL PINEIRO SIGNED WITH THE ANGELS?!?!?

I think Madmartigan sums up most of our feelings here:

Bif F'n deal. If Jack Z didn't want he probably sucks.




And for those of you who actually clicked read more... here's an extended Madmartigan clip.... this kills me:

Lyla always looked like a baseball gal

It had nothing to do with Street's paralysis. Or Riggins' alcoholic tendencies.

If That Baseball Team Were a Wrestler ....

Have you ever wondered, "If that baseball team were a wrestler who would they be?" Well, I did. In fact, my curiosity went so far that it manifested itself as this post. Below is every team in the majors along with the wrestler that they would be. Are they all good comparisons? No. Are most them good? Questionable. Did I think of 5 good ones and then stretch it to encompass the whole league? Yes. But, it should be enjoyable nonetheless. So, without further ado, here's the answer or answers to the age old question.


NL East



Mets – Macho Man
-Won their first title in a miraculous effort, ’69 Mets, Wrestlemania IV Macho. Later won another title and are a somewhat marquee name in the sport. However, they have been marred by drug use and ridiculous debacles, for the Mets it’s been their last two Septembers and for Macho a rap album.



Phillies – Chris Benoit
-Took them a long time to get over the hump and had a reputation for not being able to win the title. But finally they broke through, and everyone lived happily ever after. That’s it, that’s how it ended.




Marlins – “Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase
-Only care about the bottom line, and they’re not above buying a championship. They’re also not afraid to sell everything it took to win that title as long as it’ll turn a profit. Both have man-servants named Virgil.



Braves – Mr. Perfect
-Always technically sound and executed very well. Despite being good enough to win a title for a long period of time, they never did get there. Oh, the Braves won a World Series in ’95? I thought they called the season after Edgar’s double … no?



Nationals – The Repo Man
-His angle was that he literally was a repo man, someone who would come and take your stuff when you couldn't pay for it any longer, which is more or less what Washington D.C. did to Montreal. Also, both were better known under different names. And they both suck … hard.


NL Central



Cubs – Mick Foley
-Lovable losers. Fan favorites that always seemed to come out on the losing end in the biggest situations. And for some reason it seems like they enjoy putting people over.


Cardinals – Bret Hart
-Consistently run organization that you just have to respect. They’ve won many titles in the past. Never the flashiest, but they always get the job done.




Reds – Kane
-The Reds dynasty of the 70s was called … the Big Red Machine. That’s good enough for me! Oh wait a minute, I forgot about the Nasty Boyz! I wanna go back1 I have to go back!




Pirates – Jake “The Snake” Roberts
-Had some good times in the late 80s/early 90s but now they’ve devolved into a shell of their former selves. Everybody agrees at this point that they’re pretty much bat-shit crazy. Not to mention the way they always push away the ones they love.



Brewers – “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan
-Longtime mediocre team deserves a longtime mediocre wrestler. Also, I feel like Hacksaw could fit in pretty well while tailgating outside a Brewers game.




Astros – Rowdy Roddy Piper
-Just when you think you’ve got all the answers, the Houston Astros change the question. I mean, c’mon, they introduced the concept of playing on carpet and they put a hill in centerfield. Neither one has won a title, and I’m not sure either ever deserved to. Yep, I said it.


NL West


Diamondbacks – Brock Lesnar
-Won the title immediately after entering the league. Then grew tired of the sport and left for other things …what’s that? The Diamondbacks still play baseball?




Dodgers – Shawn Michaels
-Perennial contenders with a flare for the dramatic. For the Dodgers it was Jackie stealing home or Gibson’s one-legged homer, for Michaels it’s been countless Wrestlemania moments.




Rockies – Triple H
-Much in the same way that the thin air of Colorado inflated many of the Rockies’ statistics, the WWF’s ridiculous amount of title-swapping in recent years has lead to Triple H having a stupid amount of titles.




Padres – Yokozuna
-The Padres have made it to the World Series twice, losing in 5 games in ’84 and getting swept in ’98. Yokozuna had similarly poor performances in the two Wrestlemanias he main-evented (IX & X). On the other hand you really can't blame either of them for it; the Padres came up against two great teams, and Yokozuna was 600 lbs. Also, for a long time the Padres had the saves leader in Trevor Hoffman, while Yokozuna had Mr. Fuji who saved many a match for him with a handful of salt to the opponent’s eyes.




Giants – Hulk Hogan
Maybe a little too good for the Giants, but let’s look at the facts. Both had a lot of titles early in their career. Both made a stunning heel turn: Hogan to the nWo, the Giants leaving New York. Both came agonizingly close to greatness in 2002: Hogan nearly beating The Rock at Wrestlemania X-8, the Giants blowing a 5-0 lead in game 6 of the World Series. Throw in the Barry Bonds corollaries: steroid use and a lame reality show, and there’s really no getting around it.


AL East



Yankees – Ric Flair
-The dirtiest players in the game, willing to do whatever it takes to win. They’re all about the luxurious lifestyle. You hate them, but you have to respect them. They have more titles than anybody else.




Blue Jays – Ultimate Warrior
-Both are from parts unknown. Won the title then disappeared for the most part.




Red Sox – The Rock
-Rode a wave of popularity to their title win, then immediately turned heel. From there on out they received extremely polarized reactions, either you love them or you hate them. (Applies more to the Red Sox current situation than their whole history)




Rays – Barry Horowitz
-Pathetic losers who actually get a push for once in their existence, then everybody laughs about it afterwards.




Orioles – Sid Justice
-Both are better suited to play softball.


AL Central



White Sox – Ravishing Rick Rude
-Much in the same way that 8 White Sox were banned from baseball in 1919, Rick Rude was banned from the WWF in 1991 for making insensitive comments about Big Bossman’s mother. Both are also known for their creative, borderline ridiculous outfits.




Royals – Dusty Rhodes
-I always hear they were really good back in the 70s. Could’ve fooled me, every time I watch them they’re boring as hell.




Tigers – Goldberg
-Rode a record-setting hot start (’84 Tigers: 20-4, Goldberg 200-0, or whatever it was) to a title. After that they were never as good and they both carelessly ended legends’ careers Goldberg by kicking Bret Hart in the head and the Tigers by forcing Billy Chapel into retirement. And look, they're making the same face.




Twins – “Superfly” Jimmy Snuka
-The Twins have a unique home-field advantage, and thus they play a different brand of baseball. Of course, Superfly had a different brand of wrestling that he utilized to his advantage. Both have an iconic leaping moment – Snuka’s big splash from the top of the cage, and Kirby’s catch against the glass in the ’91 World Series.




Indians – Randy “The Ram” Robinson
-Since the best thing about the Indians is the movie that was based on them, I chose a movie wrestler to represent them. Much like the Ram, the Indians’ best days are long behind them.



AL West



A's – Superstar Billy Graham
-Known for being very flashy (70s A’s) and taking lots of steroids (late 80s A’s)




Angels – Goldust
-These guys are all fags. And every time they win it feels like I get kicked in the balls.




Rangers – Eddy Guerrero
-Eddy was all about cheating to win, well, no organization has had as many prominent cheaters as Texas over the past two decades. Sosa, Raffy Palmeiro, Ivan Rodriguez, Canseco, Juan Gonzalez, they were all Rangers. Unfortunately, the whole winning part hasn’t worked out as well for Texas.




Mariners – Ricky Steamboat
-First, there’s the Asian connection. The M's have an Asian owner, their "best" player is Asian, and they have a strong Asian fanbase; Steamboat is Asian. Neither has won the world title, but at one point they were considered the most talented in the sport. For Steamboat it was the mid to late 80s, and for the M’s it was the mid to late 90s. Steamboat’s Wrestlemania III performance can compare to the '95 team, which means his lame return in the early 90s was the last couple seasons for the Mariners.



So there you have it. The definitive list. Actually, I'm willing to bet it's the only list.