2.09.2010

What now?

Seriously, what now?



Should we get into those best of the decade lists? No one seemed real interested. Then again, no one seems real interested about anything on here.

So why DON'T YOU BLOW ME UMP!!!

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2.06.2010

NFL Picks: SUPER BOWL!!!

So in the end we pretty much got what we all expected as the Super Bowl match-up. All of us except for this guy of course. You might think that a match-up of the 1 seeds in the Super Bowl is very predictable, however, this is the first time it's happened since Super Bowl XXVIII, so stop thinking stupid shit like that ok? The Colts and Saints have proven once and for all that it's always best to back your way into the playoffs and respect the integrity of the game as little as possible. Their seasons have mirrored each other in many ways. Both won at least their first 13 games, both had prolific passing attacks led by top-notch QBs, both of them played indoors, both of them have Pierres (not enough has been made of this), both of them fielded 53 players each week, all of their players wore helmets while playing (except for the Saints' long snapper Shecky Ferguson who has stated that playing without a helmet is "All he knows"). So, as you can see, these teams have been inexorably linked all year. So who will win?

Colts 31-20

Why? They haven't really lost yet; and we all know that teams that come in to the Super Bowl undefeated always win.

And now for some extra picks (I got the lines from a reputable sports gaming website. Well most of them anyway.):

-Over/Under 57: Obviously I'm going Under here.
-MVP: Peyton Manning. Why overthink this? If they win it's because of him.
-Coin Toss: I'm feeling Saints on this one.
-Brees's 1st Pass: Complete!
-Over/Under 1:42 on the National Anthem: Under. I think Underwood takes care of business.
-Player to Score 1st TD: Joseph Addai (Although Shecky Ferguson is getting good odds.)
-Over/Under 1.5 Times CBS Will Show Tony Dungy: Over. This is my lock of the week, I mean, this might be a winner before kick-off, assuming he's going to be at the game of course ...
-Over/Under .5 Times Anyone Mentions Super Bowl XL At Any Time. Pre-game Included: Under. This game has more or less been forgotten by the general public, and thank God for that.
-Over/Under 9.5 Beers I Drink: I'm gonna go over. Especially if I'm wrong about that last pick.

Ok, so there ya go. Please comment with your picks. Read more!

2.05.2010

Who says Freddy is past his Prime?

It's February which means baseball is right around the corner. To celebrate this fact teams around the country are having "Fanfests". You and I had the opportunity to stand in line for 3 hours last weekend to trot around the bases, or even catch a pop fly! Maybe if we were really lucky we wouldve bumped into Doug Fister. Some lucky White Sox fans had their dream of meeting Freddy Garcia come true

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2.04.2010

137,000,000 to 1

I was scanning through some US Census data at work this morning. After crunching some numbers, I discovered that these would be the odds that somebody named Pierre would be looking at when dreaming about becoming an NFL Player. For those of you who don't know, the New Orleans Saints have a running back named Pierre Thomas. Couple that with the fact that Pierre Garcon (sorry I dont know how to do that squiggly thing) catches balls from Peyton Manning and we have quite a Superbowl subplot. Both of these guys have to be considered fortunate to even be in the NFL, correct? I tried to not only calculate the odds of multiple Pierres being in the NFL, and then playing each other in the championship game. Too bad my calculator has a character limit. I guess it doesn't matter what that number is, we know it's huge. A billion? A trillion?

As the clock winds down on Sunday night, and a champion is crowned, we will know once and for all who is the Luckiest Pierre. Read more!

2.02.2010

Bauer Kills

Sorry for the lack of posts... been moving the home offices of HenryCottosMustache.com and now that we're situated you can count on the top notch blogging that you've come to know and respect to return FAST!

Anyway, Bauer had ZERO kills again.

but...



I counted 3 kills for Delgo!

The writer's are really bringing Cole Ortiz along nicely! A real asset to the show so far.

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1.26.2010

Bauer Goes O'fer

Jack Bauer had zero kills on last night's episode of 24. That's not to say that no one died, it just wasn't by Bauer's hand. Whenever this happens it's kind of like watching a Sonics game in the early-mid 90s and not seeing an alley-oop from GP to the Reign Man. While it may have been entertaining, there was just something missing.
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1.24.2010

Royal Rumble 2010

Look... there's no matching the the intensity and longevity of our last Rumble preview... so Erik and I just exchanged quick glances at the Rumble participant list and decided we'd rank their chances at winning. HILARITY ENSUED!!! Not really. But read it anyway if ya like wrasslin': (Editor's note: turns out this wasn't the official list of Rumble participants... well f it. We did it anyway)



I sent this list to Erik and he replied without looking. They're shockingly (and funnily (word?) (to us) wow, look how many of these () I used)

My list:

30. Yoshi Tatsu
29. Zach Ryder
28. Finlay
27. Santino Marella, I'm holding out hope that he could be the #30 who enters and the last two guys had already eliminated themselves.
26. Carlito, they hate this guy. Probably because he's a top 10 wrestler in the company
25. Evan Bourne, I hate this guy
24. Shelton Benjamin, I actually DON'T want him to win for a change... cuz it takes him out of the Money In The Bank Ladder match if he does. It's the one wrestling match I look forward to almost as much as the Rumble.... just to see Benjamin become a bright shining star.
23. Vladimir Kozlov
22. Jack Swagger, he got his push... didn't work out.
21. Dolph Ziggler, same here.
20. R-Truth, bet he wishes he was still in TNA
19. Mark Henry, I'll let you make this joke.
18. MVP, they seem to like him for whatever reason, but he's a mid carder for life
17. Mystery Guy #1
16. Cody Rhodes, I'd have him ranked higher, but there's no way he's winning it over Dibiase
15. Matt Hardy, I hold out hope that they'll reward his years of service and give him a run at main event. But his baby brother just left for TNA so Matt will probably be punished.
14. The Miz, I think of the next three dudes he might be my favorite. He's good on the mic.
13. John Morrison, next in the ring, but you can't teach charisma
12. Drew McIntyre, never seen him wrestle, but HHH loves him and we know what happens then.
11. Ted Dibiase, they've been looking to push him singles for a bit... maybe this is it?
10. Big Show
9. Kane, I know you hate him, but he kicks ass at Rumbles unless the whitecoats come for him.
8. CM Punk
7. Kofi Kingston, main event push?
6. Chris Jericho, could continue his quest to get back on RAW
5. David Batista
4. John Cena
3. HHH, he's definitely be in the final four.
2. Mystery #2, my money's it being Edge... but I'm not sure he'll win anymore.
1. Shawn Michaels, he ties Austin as the all time leader and goes on to face the Deadman.

to which Erik replies:

30. Mystery Entrant #1.
It will no doubt be one of the following "Mystery Entrant" classics: Hornswoggle, Jerry Lawler, an old wrestler, The Price is Right host, etc.
29. Yoshi Tatsu - Never heard of him. It'd be a bit of a shock if he won.
28. Zack Ryder
27. Santino Marella
26. Finlay - 64 year-olds rarely do well in the Rumble.
25. Carlito - Didn't even know he was still with the company.
24. Vlad Koslov
23. R -Truth - What's up!? ... Not your stock.
22. Evan Bourne
21. Matt Hardy - Should never have swithed to tights.
20. Mark Henry - This ain't the '98 Rumble, he's no favorite this time around.
19. Cody Rhodes
18. Jack Swagger
17. Drew McIntyre - Even though he's Vince's #1 heel.
16. Shelton Benjamin - Always my dark horse.
15. Kane
14. MVP - I don't know why this guy is popular. I can't stand him. He's a homless man's The Rock in a Max Moon outfit.
13. Dolph Ziggler
12. The Miz
11. John Morrison
10. Ted DiBiase
9. Big Show
8. CM Punk
7. Chris Jericho
6. Batista - Seems like he's kind of aimless right now. I base that on the fact that I never watch Smackdown.
5. Kofi Kingston - Turns out he's from Ghana, and he never had an accent. I mean, I could have sworn he was from Jamaica, but apparently not.
4. John Cena
3. HHH
2. Mystery Entrant #2 - I guess I'll go with Edge on this one. You seem pretty confident, so I'll go with him ... or Road Dogg.
1. Shawn Michaels

CLASSIC STUFF!!!!

Enjoy the Rumble next Sunday
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