Antonio Cromartie is a loser.

Looks like we got a new favorite player... to hate. Congrats on your new title of Most Hated Antonio. Loser.

The Worst City in Sports

(Party Host note: my blogging skills are epic... hence the fucked up post. Click read more to see the whole thing in it's correct order. Sorry. )

I haven't looked at the last one I did of these, so maybe this will be a total retread, but I thought I'd examine it once again. Who's got it the worst? Cities (or small areas around that city). I've got the Top 5, (with one that sort of surprised me), a couple of cities that have it rough overall but got a few championships sprinkled in, and then the 1 town teams that can't win shit.

Why'd I do this? I guess I just feel like a loser. Don't expect a lot of humor below, but I think it's always discussion worthy. If we can't be the best, I want to be known as the absolute worst. We're almost there Seattle!

Here we go...

One team towns that can't catch a break:

16. Ottowa - This is a town in Canada. They have a hockey team that, according to my research, sucks.

15. Vancouver - They'd be higher on the list if it were kick ass towns that kick a lot of ass, but that's a different list. Along with Ottowa, they lose point for being a NHL only town.

14. Charlotte - One NBA team (NBA teams in general took a hit on the list, because the NBA blows), not a long history. Not much suffering.

13. Orlando - A good team from what I hear, but still haven't won.

12. Sacramento - good fans.

11. Salt Lake City - Strong runs of competitiveness, but nothing to show for it.

10. Portland - A great town, with great titty bars. They can't feel too bad about themselves.

9. Jacksonville - They only made it this high because they're in one of the two sports leagues that still matter. Otherwise Jacksonville could eat it like the rest of these fools.

8. Tampa Bay - They don't have any fans, but the few that exist will end up being very bummed out when they look at this squad a few years down the road (Think '95 M's)

Big Ol' Losers:

7. San Francisco - You can only ride those 49er championships for so long (and CHRIST, look at em now). The Giants haven't won a thin in forever, and I think they count the Sharks and Warriors as their own as well. A real shit sandwich.

6. Minnesota - The Twins won a couple, but that 20 years ago. The Timberwolves are a joke, and the Vikings are one of longest suffering NFL teams.

The Top 5:

5. Tennessee - Here's the curveball. Sure, they don't have a gigantic fansbase in any of these sports, and lumping all of Tennessee together is kinda weak, but so are their teams. Titans came inches from winning a Superbowl . The Grizzilies blow and always will, (seriously, come back and read this post in 10 years and if they won a title by then I'll give you $10.00 each). They've also got a team in Nashville that sucks at hockey. Not a great sports town.

4. San Diego - The Chargers and the Padres. A couple of championship games but nothing else. Also, pretty sure they lost their NBA team too.

3. Buffalo - C'mon.

2. Seattle - If you need an explanation for this one, you're probably on the wrong site.

1. Cleveland - No championships in anything for over I dunno, 50 years I'll say. And then Lebron pulled one of the all time dickhead sports moves on the entire town.

Congrats Cleveland! But things are looking up with Holmgren on the Browns, and Carlos Santana on the Indians... you guys better step your suckiness, cuz Seattle we'll be closing on ya fast!

Depressing

In what can only be described as pathetic...

our once high profile blog doesn't even appear on a "Henry Cotto" yahoo search until the third page.

Oh and in other pathetic news... David Schoenfield has a nice article on the M's hitoric season here.

HCM Weight Loss Challenge

It's the moment all our female Mustacheers wait for allllll year long. That's right, shirtless pics of beefcakes!!! Yep, it's the 2nd Annual HCM Weight Loss Challenge! (I wish I knew had to add music to these posts, 'cuz right now it'd play the track the Sonics used to play when announcing their starting lineups... wouldn't that be sweet?)

We've actually got a much larger group on competitors this year... let's meet them, shall we? ...

...
Like last year, the names and faces have been hidden to protect the innocent. But unlike last year, calling them "Dots" (stupid), I'd like to go in more of a Tarantino direction and name them Reservoir Dogs style. Here we go:


- MR. RED 205.4 pounds



Last year's champ has bragging for weeks about winning this thing two years in a row! Not sure that's something to be proud of.

- MR. BLUE 188.0 pounds




Last year's last place finisher... or as he'll remind you, Runner Up! Let's see if he can stay with the pack by contracting a weight eating stomach virus DURING the competition this year.

- MR. YELLOW 206.6 pounds



Surprising the second heaviest MR. in the competition. He carries it well.

- MR. GREEN 198.5 pounds



He's a hard worker I can tell you that much. Plus you probably burn a ton of calories fighting subway rats and bashing Yankee fans. He's got a shot.

- MR. PURPLE 249 pounds



Our final entrant, and a real dark horse if you ask me. He's the heaviest, so he's got the most to lose. We'll see if he can pull it off.


Ok! that's it. The prize has yet to be determined, but it will be mutually decided upon by all of the MR's. We'll hopefully try and keep you updated. I know you care. The competition ends the Wednesday evening before the first round of this years March Madness... or as I like to call it: "The Cougs first game in their march to glory"

Good luck everyone!

Jim Mora SUPER tough Guy

Another Jim Mora rant! Yay.

I'm getting real tired of Jim, (gonna drain his heat HHH style).

Questioning the Seahawks toughness? Probably warranted, cuz I haven't seen a lot of heart on this team either... other than MH of course. But Jim's act is getting real old.

What has he EVER done as a head coach? Falcons had one shining moment, but they ultimately sucked... and now this year is just pathetic.

I also really enjoy Jim's strategy of calling out his team the week before they play the worst teams in the league (Detroit last time, Tampa Bay this week). That way when we (hopefully) kick some ass against an (again... hopefully) inferior team, he looks like a motivational mastermind!!!! Nice try Jim. I don't buy it.

Me thinks, Jim has gotten by a little too much on his daddy's reputation. Maybe trying to get a little of that classic Jim Mora, Sr. press conference heat. So... Jim, JR... I've watched press conferences by Jim Mora, Sr. I've enjoyed press conferences from Jim Mora, Sr. You sir are no Jim Mora, Sr.

At least this time Jim called out an O-Lineman and not our kicker. Cuz calling out a kicker wouldn't be very TOUGH would it Jim.

Diagnosis?


Bad babysitting... oh sorry.

Fire Jim Mora. I dislike him.

Other

As many of you know, at times "Other" features simply the worst thing I saw in a given week of watching baseball. This is the case for this week's entry:

Brandon Morrow.

Here are his stats for the week:

3 appearances, 1.2 IP, 7 H, 2 HR, 6 ER, 3 BB, 1 SO, 32.40 ERA, 6.00 WHIP, 1 S, 2 BS

It's been a rough week to say the least. His outing on Sunday was pretty nerve-racking, when he walked 2 men and threw 10 balls in a row at one point, but at least he ended up converting the save. Yesterday and today, however, turned out a bit different. At least, he found his control I guess.

Honestly, it's as if someone said to Morrow after Wednesday's game, "Well, it'd be hard to have a worse outing than that." Then, instead of accepting this as the put down it was, Morrow took it as a challenge, a look of steely determination formed upon his face and he set about shitting the bed even worse today. This time he didn't just shit in the bed, he rolled around in it and got it everywhere, and his mom had just cleaned the sheets after he'd messed them last night.

The other thing is, the Rangers made it look easy. Did anybody see that homer that Blalock hit today!? It had to be 450 feet. I didn't even see the ball come off the bat, he obliterated it. And then when Davis hit his a few batters later he knew immediately that it was gone. These were two games that we should have won, and they were against the division leader. If we had won them we'd be a half game back right now instead of 4 and a half, which we are.

The point? Morrow's a joke right now. So, I say we make his name into a joke with a clever nickname. Here's a few suggestions:

- WHIPmaster

- Slumpbuster

- The Model (because of all the walk-offs he's involved in)

- Balls Mahoney

That's all I've got for now. Anybody else have any nickname suggestions?