Crapple Cup My Ass


"4th and 3, we've only been giving up 5 yards per rush, don't worry they're gonna punt"










Brent Musburger: What a Man

Last night during the end of the Oklahoma-Texas Tech game, the following exchange took place (not verbatim):

Brent Musburger: Well it looks like a lot of fans are leaving. Hey speaking of leaving, did you see what happened to my friend P.J. Carlesimo?

Kirk Herbstreit: Ha ha, yeah he's outta there.

BM: Yeah it's too bad. Well Oklahoma City's got that aggressive new owner that brought the team .... actually, I'm sorry, stole the team from Seattle.

After hearing this I was thrilled. I've always been a Musburger fan anyway (great call on Edgar's double) , but now he's easily my favorite national broadcaster. Then I though about the situation a little bit more. Musburger was announcing the end of an Oklahoma game that's score was 65-14 at the time. Who's watching that game at that point? Pretty much only people that live in Oklahoma. Musburger didn't care though, he stuck it right to them. I know there's a list of our heroes on the side of this page, well here's my vote for adding the man pictured above to that list.

P.S. Herbstreit actually was laughing about the Carlesimo firing, which I found hilarious.


Parts Unknown Revealed to be Shaker Heights, Ohio

SHAKER HEIGHTS – A long disputed and mysterious question in professional wrestling circles was finally answered Wednesday when "Parts Unknown" were finally identified as Shaker Heights, Ohio. "This announcement has been a long time coming," said former P.U. resident the Ultimate Warrior, "The lies have gone on too long." When asked why his true place of origin was kept under wraps for so long, he had this to say, "They were ashamed of us. They said any man that paints his face could not name Shaker Heights as his hometown. Look, I’ve got as much civic pride as anyone, but ain’t no way I’m gonna walk to that ring without paint on my face. That ain’t the Warrior."
Shaker Heights, a suburb of Cleveland, with a population of over 29,000 has been home to other notable celebrities such as Paul Newman. "It’s time to uncover Shaker Heights, Ohio for what it really is," said Warrior, "A hot-bed for some of the most bizarre wrestlers to ever compete at the professional level." The number of wrestlers that the Ultimate Warrior refers to includes the likes of Demolition, Papa Shango, and Chainsaw Charlie.
Speaking of Papa Shango, the Ultimate Warrior bristled at the mere mention of him, saying that he can no longer utter Shango’s name out loud for fear that his insides will turn to mush causing him to vomit green liquid. Apparently the feud between the two existed long before their days in the WWF. "Yeah, me and (Papa Shango) were at each other’s throats throughout most of high school. In fact, we went back and forth so much that around these parts our rivalry became known as ‘The Battle of Shaker Heights.’" Upon being told of the movie of the same name, the Ultimate Warrior stormed out of the interview muttering plans for hijacking Shia LaBeouf’s private jet and crashing it. The current location of the Ultimate Warrior remains unknown; however, the same can no longer be said for his hometown.


M's New Manager

Don Wakamatsu. This guy sounds like a winner.

Actually he sounds like a made-up player on a video game.

Great Radio

I was driving home from Ivars with dinner for my family on Sunday Night (5 piece cajun and a small chow for me, bread bowl of chowder for the wifey) when I tuned my radio to the Dallas at Washington game. It was a 3rd and long for Washington and our beloved Dave Sims commented that Portis was on the sidelines and Shaun Alexader was in the game. Whoever was the color guy was started talking about how great of a blocker and pass catcher out of the backfield he is, a real asset for the Skins. Then there was about 3 seconds of silence before the play started where I hope Sims cut the feed of their mics and punched him in the face for being an idiot.


Mexico Staying Strong

Earlier this weekend, Friday to be exact, I was enjoying a hearty dinner at a local Mexican restaurant. The TV in the establishment was tuned to a Mexican sports network that was airing soccer. At the bottom of the screen, scores from the NBA scrolled by. I was generally ignoring the scores, seeing as how they don't matter anymore, however, something caught my eye. The ticker listed an interesting game: Seattle @ New York.
A short burst of hope swelled in my soul, until I realized that they had just made a mistake, I then got very sad. Then I thought, no, Mexico didn't make a mistake, they were refusing to accept that the Sonics no longer existed. Mexico is standing strong against tyrants like David Stern and the government officials in the city of Seattle, who clearly cared less about the Sonics than the great people of Mexico.

Thank you Mexico, you're what the U.S. could've been.


We're #1!

Good news everyone, I just searched Henry Cotto on Google, and this site now enjoys the top spot.

See for yourself: http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=henry+cotto&aq=f&oq=

We did it. And I think we know who we have to thank. I mean just look at the record posting volume starting in October. I wonder what else started in October. Look, I'm not asking for a thank you, but you're welcome.


November 23rd 2008

November 23rd is shaping up to be the greatest of all they days... ever.

The world will wake up fresh from a Cougar Apple Cup victory and rush to Best Buy to purchase Chinese Democracy (thank you Axl). THEN, head over to Tailgater's Heaven to pair-ty before the Seahawks wipe the field with our personal whipping boys the Washington Racist-team-name-that-i-can't-even-believe-is-still-alloweds.

If that wasn't enough, humans can then head back home to wind down with the return Jack Bauer in a special 2-hour movie version of 24.

It's also TS Tariyah's birthday.

It shall be epic.

I don't see how anything could go wrong!!!



Well... not a physical presence... but we're totally getting the PPV and it's gonna be bitchin'!! Lots of good fights on this one, but the one every one is waiting for is:

Tale of the Tape:
Bruce Barrett............Skyscraper
Height: 5' 3''.............Height: 6' 10''
Weight: 215 lbs.............Weight: 265 lbs.
Reach: 60''............Reach: 82""
Fighting Style: Kempo............Fighting Style: He brawls like a big boy

This one is going to be a barn burner!!!! They've tried to lockdown this fight for years and now it's happening, I can't believe it.


J. Hutt Crushes Record 575 Ft. HR in Controversial Game

NEW YORK – Hulking Mariners slugger J. Hutt blasted a mammoth home run out of Yankee Stadium Monday. Reports have the ball traveling as far as 575 feet. However, it is unclear whether this record shot will be recognized due to the contest’s auspicious ending. The game was unceremoniously and abruptly called off in the Bottom of the 9th inning just as a would-be 2 run walk-off home run off the bat of Yankees 1B I. Horse was sailing over the fences.
The Yankees were trailing 9-8 at the time in what had been a wild game to say the least. The Mariners picked up their first 8 runs in the 2nd inning with a string of bases-loaded squeeze plays. The Yankees defense seemed powerless to stop the small ball techniques. "I kept thinking I could make the out at home," lamented Yankees starting pitcher W. Ford, "But every time they slid in just under the tag, and by then it was too late to get the guy at first. But M. (Thurmon) kept trying anyway."
The Yankees chipped away until the 7th inning when Hutt extended the lead with his "Noheartian" blast. "Man that thing got out of here in a hurry." Remarked Mariners 2B H. Lincoln. "It just kept on going until it was finally out of the stadium. And right when it went out it kind of bounced off the air or something. I know it sounds weird, but I guess the wind caught it."
To compound all of the peculiarities, technical difficulties in the stadium’s P.A. system caused a simple, repetitive musical tune to be played throughout the game. "It was kind of a jazzy tune, but with a little bit of a zing to it," said Ken Griffey Jr., "Sort of like, ‘Bum ba da bum bum bum bum ba da ba da bum bum. Bum ba da bum bum ting ting.’" Rumors before the game suggested that Griffey may not be in the line-up, however, these plans were called off when Seattle’s faceless manager realized he could do no such thing. "Yeah I thought about sitting Griffey," said Seattle Manager, "But then this little voice in my head kept saying, ‘Eggghhh! Eggghhh!’ so I thought better of it."
Apparently the music didn’t bother the fans, who stood and waived their arms maniacally throughout the game. At the end of the day, however, thousands were sent home befuddled and unsatisfied. "This is bull shit," said Yankees right fielder Y. Clipper, "Every time we think we’ve got these guys beat the game gets cancelled for some reason. It’s like they get a do-over, a reset if you will."


Our new Henry Cotto insider had this to say:

"El Marko said...
Well, I just spoke to Henry and I have good news and bad news.

The good news is: I told him about this site and he laughed heartily and asked for the link.

The bad news is: he is no longer a Seattle Mariner. He just signed on to be a roving instructor with the Giants. Actually that makes us in Connecticut very happy as it means he will be visiting Norwich, Ct in the Eastern League.

Anyway, I hope you don't change the site name because of this...he still spent the bulk of his playing days in Seattle."

(Of course, El Marko could just be playing a practical joke on all of us here at HCM, it wouldn't be the first time our dedicated news staff had been fooled. I however, choose to believe El Marko... call it blind faith, call it "Hey this dude has a website and everything!", call it what you will. I buy it!)

This is certainly dissapointing news that Mr. Cotto has once again left our beloved Seattle Mariner organization. However, it does nothing to tarnish our respect for the man, the player, and the mustache.

We wish Henry the best of luck with his new position and can only hope that he returns to the organization in a few short weeks as the Manager.




Get used to that picture, because there's gonna be another photoshoot in January.

How many TDs on Sunday? 10? 12?


Finn's Attempt

"I don't think I can eat 5 so I will try 4 and hide behind these shades so you can't see my fear"

"I will take this last bite but since I just threw up does it still count?"

Hawks game: live diary

we pick things up at halftime after some deviant fantasies...

1st half thoughts:

Finn: brian russell did a great job of keeping trufant from making a play on that td. Defense overall looks pretty good

Sean: speechless

Peter: (is pooping).

More later....


Visual Evidence That Proves Babies Have Inferior Taste Buds

One little bite and he threw it on the ground. Lucky for me because I ate it and can add it to my total.


Sports Stereotypes

Last night at bowling, our opponent made the comment that Seneca Wallace was too stupid to play quarterback and Charlie Frye was not talented enough. I feel this guy can go straight to the networks with this incredible insight. Especially after he tricked Fortune into believing he ate 6 McRibs.


Finn isn't the only one lightin' up ESPN chats

I can waste my day away with the best of them

Sean (Edmonds, WA): Since the Apple Cup this year is gaining steam as possibly the worst matchup in the history of college football, you think Gameday crew will want to be on location to witness it first hand?

Ted Miller: (3:04 PM ET ) you may have to settle for second place... or 102nd place... me.. I'm hoping to hook up with some of the old gang and head to the Coug.

Looks like Teddy hasnt realized the gang is gone

The State of College Football

As we all know the entire state of Washington is suffering through a futile football season rarely matched throughout the annals of history. The culmination of which will arrive on November 22nd with the Apple Cup. We've been discussing how terrible this game will be for weeks, and here's Ted Miller's take, if you haven't already seen it: http://myespn.go.com/blogs/pac10/0-4-28/A-date-that-will-live-in-infamy--Apple-Cup-2008.html
This article was a featured link under the "NCAA" section on the front page of espn.com, so it seems the whole nation is taking notice.

Also, the weekly Bottom 10 poll from ESPN ranks the Huskies #1 and the Cougs #2. (whole article can be found here: http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/news/story?page=bottom100810).
Now, I know both teams are just awful, however, after watching both perform, I would have to disagree with ESPN and say that the Cougars are slightly worse at this point. I know they have one win, but that's only because they played Portland St. What do you guys think? Who is honestly the worst team in college football? (besides Portland St.)


The McBarrasment

For those of you who had faith in me, thank you. For those I let down, my sincerest apologies. I started off so strong!




Join the HCM McRib Eating contest and post each time you enjoy one of this world's most delicious of treats.

** A shout out to Ricker for bringing this to my attention yesterday when he brought 3 of them into the studio with with him **

Seahawks Fan Survey

I just received one of the Seahawks surveys they send out to season ticket holders... Here's how I filled out one page:

Just click on the picture to load the full version

Any thoughts? Who'd I leave out?


Koren Robinson Pulled Over in End Zone After Weaving Down the Field

SEATTLE – After an exhilarating 90 – yard touchdown reception in Sunday’s game against the Philadelphia Eagles Koren Robinson was stopped for questioning by two police officers. "He was all over the place out there," said Greg Garland of the Seattle Police Department, "He was really putting all of the players on the field in danger. It was pretty obvious that he was under the influence. Someone could have got hurt."
Robinson seemed confused by the sudden questioning. "I don’t know what that was all about. I was completely fine to play. The only reason I was weaving at all was because I was trying to avoid defenders." The wide receiver continued to elaborate on what he saw as a non-issue. "Besides, I had to get to the end zone one way or another. And don’t give me this crap about another player driving us to the end zone, I know how to get to there, I’ve made that run before, there’s nothing to worry about, it wasn’t a big deal."
The S.P.D. did not accept Robinson’s excuses as legitimate. "He kept telling us how this was his home stadium, and that his bench was only ‘about 100 feet away’" Garber explained, "That may be, but most alcohol-related football collisions take place within 50 yards of one’s bench."
Robinson remains dumbfounded by the claims. "Look, there’s no way I was intoxicated out there on that field, I’ve learned my lessons. Sure I snorted a few lines before the game, but if cocaine’s illegal you can arrest me." Robinson was apprehended shortly after making this comment.