The Greatest Sports Film of All Time: #1

It’s certainly no coincidence that we finish our epic countdown today. 6 months in the making. Seriously... look it up.

Today, one of the greatest of all days. A man’s birthday, who without, we wouldn’t be here right now. That man turns 50 (seriously, 50, this is too perfect, right… oh sorry). That man’s mustache was the inspiration for this “sports blog”. That man… is Henry Cotto.

Without further ado… I give you… the #1 film, in our countdown of the 50 Greatest Sports Films of All Time…

#1 Major League

You’re an idiot AND an asshole if you hadn’t figured this one out already… and actually, we’ve got a lot of fun stuff planned to celebrate the film. Buuuuut… seeing as the Wild Thing has gone bat shit crazy… AGAIN… I figured we better get this out right away before we look like TOO big of heels.

We’ve got 2 pretty epic posts that WILL get done sooner or later, and I WILL continue to use CAPS letters as a tool for EMPHASIS!!!

So without getting into too much detail about those neato surprises, I will just say that not only is this the greatest sports film of all time, but it’s my FAVORITE movie of all time. It’s the best.

Please comment… or don’t and we’ll just shut this stupid thing down.

Two underrated faves:

- Jake Taylor: IS THAT YOU TOLBERT????

- Eddie Harris: Twat.

PS I know this post is lame… but we’ve got some better stuff planned for Major League. I mean it.

#2

It's in the hole!!!!

#2 Caddyshack

I could go on and on about how great this movie and Lacey Underall's tits were... but I'll just say this:

"If I kill all the golfers on this course they're gonna lock me up and throw away the key"

Favorite parts go!

#3

#3 Field of Dreams



I you don't like this movie you're either a douche bag or some kind of nazi.




I'm in a hurry. I know what a travesty. But let's get serious for a moment.

Here's James Earl Jones'ss''s'sss' s speech.:



I didn't add the video... because I really wanted his powerful words to hit home. That... and for some reason there's no video on youtube for fod.

PEACE OUT YO!

#4

I'll bet most of yous thought this list was over...

Well...



I didn't hear no bell.

#4 Rocky (the series)

Yeah, rather than list all the films individually... we decided to just group them. It may have helped it climb the list (or in 5's case, hurt it's cause).

Anyway, everyone knows the greatness of these films. The great montages, , Clubber Lang, Tommy Gunn (hey how'd you get in here), Thunder Lips, Mickey, Pauly, Adrianne, DRAGOOOOOOOOOOOOO, and the great Apollo Creed!

Which one hurts more? Goose or Apollo?

Here are some of my favorite clips from the Rocky Series (or at least my favorite clips I could find on YouTube)

Original Trailer:




Clubber's prediction for his fight:



APOLLO!



No easy way out:



Hearts on fire:

#5

There comes a time in every movie list where it has to turn and face the music. And that movie is....



you Kingpin.

#5 Kingpin



I'm fully aware that the intro made little to no sense... just trying to work a classic Big Ern McCracken line in.

Honestly... my head hurts from trying to come up with stuff to say about the flick.

I will never get tired of watching Big Ern hit on those broads in the diner. Big Ern fondeling women every chance her gets. Big Ern... now that I think about it, any of you younger Mustacheers might want to purchase a copy of this film and just follow Big Ern as your personal savior. Sometimes I wish I had. I'll bet things would've turned out a lot different. In FACT, I'm debating adding him to the illustrious list of HCM heroes! Any objections?



And I will certainly never get tired... of the showdown.



I'M BIG ERN! Finally BIG ERN IS ABOVE THE LAW!!!! Oh what do I care I'm RICH!!!

Sure I left a buuuuunch out, didn't even hit on tons of the great stuff here... I'll let the legions of Mustacheers participating in the countdown take it from here.

First person to make a "Munsoned" joke wins a free high five!

The Top 5

Well we finally made Mustacheers!



Well... not quite. We'll announce 1 film each of the next 4 weeks and celebrate the new year with our #1 Greatest Sports Film of All Time!

Any guesses on the top 5? Ah, never mind... we don't wanna ruin it!

#6

I don't even own this movie. And for that I am ashamed. I guess I always just get a little pissed because people try and tell me this is a better baseball movie than the ACTUAL best baseball movie of all time...



But that's not Bull Durham's fault.

#6: Bull Durham


























A few things about this flick:

- Susan Sarandon at her finest... can you see boob in this movie? I can't remember.

- Another Costner appearance (SPOILER ALERT: it won't be his last). He makes good baseball movies.

Here's arguably... go ahead, argue it.... the most memorable seen:

#7

The Cougs went .500 yesterday! Sure we lost a meaningless football game, but we won the Greta Alaska Shootout, and Klay Thompson might be the best player in the Pac 10. Seriously. But enough about the Cougs. Let's get down to the real reason you all come to this site. The top 50 Sports Films of All time!!!

#7: Happy Gilmore

Another reason our countdown whoops balls and others blow. Here's a quick clip of one of my favorite moments. (let's face it, Shooter McGavin might be one of the greatest movie characters of all time. FACE IT! FACE IT TOGETHER!!!!)



Too many moments to get to here. Maybe some of you will actually comment and... well that could be fun.

Go Seahawks by the way. We don't lose to Rams.

#8

#8 Rudy



Some stories transcend time.

Some movies are timeless.

Some legends never die...

















and some bloggers are lazy. Here's a clip from Rudy:



WHO'S THE WILD MAN NOW!!!

Ok... i was gonna blow this post off, ya know not give it the attention I do the rest of these fine films... cuz I was tired... but damnit all ta hell... just watching that clip alone... Rudy ranks right up there with Braveheart as the most chill inducing movies of all time (and one other one still to come)...

I don't even want to make jokes about this one... but a few things:

1) Did Favs and Vince Vaughn meet on this film?

2) Why are Rudy's Dad and Brother looking in completely different directions while celebrating Rudy's sack?

3) I like to think Rudy never saw Roc again.

&

4) You think Charlie Weiss watches this clip and just feels the need to punch himself squarely in the junk. "I (wheeeez) deserve (wheeeeez) that (weeehhheeeeeeheehehzz huff and puff)/

I'm gonna watch the clip again and cry myself to sleep.

#9

#9 Varsity Blues
























Great football flick. One of the best!!! Lots of TnA, HOT ladies! And I don't even think VanDerBeek's accent is all that embarrassing.

Plus, Voight is a top ten hated asshole in the history of film.... in this movie. Otherwise he's swell.

And then... there's this:





Have a great day!

The Top 10: #10

(we tossed a little Affleck in there, cuz he's the bomb)

The final countdown... the Top Ten Greatest Sports Films of All Time!


#10. Jerry Maguire

























If nothing else, this film bought us the greatness that is Jonathan Lipnicki. (Sorry if I spelled that wrong JL!)

Let's go to a clip...



Alright... 9 to go. You can cut the tension with a wet noodle.

Countdown recap

Here's your countdown recap, just so all of you tools can catch up... and really come out firing down the top-10 stretch...



11 Karate Kid
12 A League of Their Own
13 The Wrestler
14 The Natural
15 The Program
16 Eight Men Out
17 Baseketball
18 Bad News Bears
19 Hoosiers
20 The Sandlot
21 Talladega Nights
22 Raging Bull
23 Miracle
24 Cool Runnings
25 Days of Thunder
26 Tin Cup
27 Necessary Roughness
28 Teen Wolf
29 8 Seconds
30 Slap Shot
31 Little Big League
32 Mr. Baseball
33 He Got Game
34 Friday Night Lights
35 Rookie of the Year
36 Mighty Ducks
37 The Best of Times
38 Ali
39 Bend It Like Beckham
40 The Cutting Edge
41 Lady Bugs
42 Wildcats
43 The Rookie
44 Everybody's All American
45 Green Street Hooligans
46 White Men Can't Jump
47 The Waterboy
48 Cinderella Man
49 For Love of the Game
50 Rad

#11

This should have been higher. But that's just how amazing this list is!!!

# 11: The Karate Kid





There's nothing else for you here. I'm just gonna go through the motions until someone else comments other than Erik. But no one is ruining my plan for #1. NOBODY!!!!

#12

Most people think this movie is a chick flick... but they're wrong! Or maybe they're right... but it's actually pretty funny.



#12 A League of Their Own


Tom Hanks is real funny in this flick. Rosie O'Donell AND Madonna at their hottest!

Favorite line: " "Avoid the clap. - Jimmy Duggan" ... IT'S GOOD ADVICE!"

It's also great when Hanks calls the ump a penis with a little hat on. Or when Hanks nails the kid in the face with the mit. Watch that scene again, he really smacks him.

Anyway, nobody reads these anyway, so they'll be getting shorter and sweeter. Too bad since we're so close to the top ten. Boo hoo, waaaaaa.

#13

Fitting that this film is #13, cuz the Ram had a string of bad luck towards the end of the road...



Ok, that was corny, but shockingly to most (not me) a movie about a professional wrestler wasnt:

#13 The Wrestler

I really loved this movie, and not just cuz it's about wrasslin'. If you haven't seen it, DO IT ASSHOLE!

Did it deserve Best Picture... probably not, and it didn't win, so there. But I thought all three leading roles deserved Oscars. Rourke, Tomei, and Rachel Wood. All fantastic performances. No joke here.

I had two small problems with this movie...

1) They changed Randy's theme music at the end to Sweet Child of Mine. He came out all movie to Bang your Head by Quiet Riot. No way a wrestler ever would do this. (back story is Axl Rose gave them a shitload of money to finish the film, and they did it as a thank you... Rourke even thanked him when he won the Golden Globe). And if you HAVE to use a Guns song (which otherwise, I'd have no problem with) was Sweet Child, really the right call? How about Paradise City or Welcome to the Jungle? Maybe Mr. Brownstone if you wanna get a little more poetic.

and

2) SPOILER ALERT!!!!

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Still here?

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I think Randy should have died a wrestler's death at the end. Someone should have found him in his hotel room, alone, dead from heart failure. It would have been a nice little tribute to so many of the fallen wrestlers of the past. Sounds corny again, but I'm being serious.

Anyway, whattya think of The Wrestler?

whoa, whoa, not all at once

#14

This would be higher up on a lot of movie lists... but not here baby! Still a sweet flick though:



All around good movie... but I think we all know why it's on the list.
And it's this scene right here:



Plus it inspired the Simpsons parody with Homer bowling the 300 game here:

Ok... I couldn't find that on youtube, which is a shame.

#15

A gang banger with speed. A 'roided out date rape sess. A 35 year old recovering alcoholic Heisman candidate. An illiterate natural athlete. A "mailing it in" Jimmy Caan. A lamest looking Halle Berry ever, other than Monsters Ball... well until... you know.... Poo butt mother fuckers.

That all might sound like a recipe for disaster. But really... it's a recipe for the 15th spot on our movie countdown:



#15: The Program

One of my favorites. Some of the greatest shit talking lines in the history of cinema. (other great lines too) I don't want to steal all the thunder (and there's a lot of it) on this post, so I'll let you guys take it from here.

What are some of your favorite lines out of this gem?

I'll get it started:

"Oh I'm gonna lead... question is can you boys follow?" Joe Kane, grizzled QB1

PS: If none of you douches come up with any, I'll just do them alone. And by myself.

#16

Back by popular demand baby!!!!!

The greatest sports movies of all time!

Just when you thought it was gone, like a wicked case of vd, it's back.

And we're back with a doozy...



#16 Eight Men Out



I love this movie. I own this movie. I ranked this movie much, much higher on the list. So some losers voting ruined it. I won't name names.

Anyway...

This movie has an allstar cast (Sweeney, Sheen, Cusack, Doc Brown, Straitham, pretty sure John Locke's dad, and... wait for it... Micheal Rooooooker).

Really well done. I thought it really captured the time frame, and just really sucked me in when I was kid.

I felt terrible for Buck and Shoeless Joe. A real impact for a roughly ten year old me.

Also... loved the sort of... mystery ending. Just awesome stuff.




Anyway, judging by the rest of the votes, it didn't impact others as much as me... but what say you Mustacheers? Anyone else dig this flick?

Anyone else still reading this site?

#17

Wow, over a week without a post. No wonder no one shows up and comments anymore.

Well, look... I'd love to tell you it's gonna get better, but the next two weeks for yours truly, will be pretty meager. I'm SUUUUUUPER busy the next two weeks.

I'm gonna follow my dream. Someday Mustacheers, I'm gonna own a biiiiig sports bar...



Or maybe just a mediocre sports blog. (See that segway back to the list?)

Here's #17:

BASEKETBALL



This movie is fantastic. And really marks the point in our epic(ly long) list where there's no turning back. Nothing but classics from here on out.

Trying to say something funny about this movie is tough, cuz it's almost as funny as it gets. This movie is terribly underrated. It's nonstop laughs. Like everything the South Park duo does. Put them together with the team that brought you Naked Gun (hey there's a baseball game in that movie, where was it on this list!?!?) and you have a masterpiece!

Favorite moments?

- The News reporter says "Looks like time finally ran out for the old cocksucker"
- "Mr. Squeaks, how old are you?"
- The car soundtrack
- "I don't have your fucking ball"

Too many too name.

Later players.

#19

#19 Hoosiers. What a curve ball! This is like, the best movie ever!!!



I've never seen this movie. I know... "WHAT!?!?!"

Well....



Explain to me why it's so awesome then.