#23 AND #22

#23 Miracle

No jokes here you pinko commie bastards! USA USA USA USA!!!

and here's #22.... cuz I ain't never seen it.

Raging Bull

I know, OOOOOHHHH MAN you never seen it?!?!??! Haven't seen Hooisers either so get it out of your system now you jerkfaces!

PS.... I wish I had some great idea for UFC post, but basically we went to Portland... got all kinds of drunk and watched the fights. It was a great time. Hopefully I'll get creative this week. For the first time ever.


Naked women.

Sorry, no more movie updates until next week. Got kickball and then Portland for the UFC. But that should make for an interesting post! Anyway, I'm sure the other Party Hosts will pick up the slack in my absynth.


Representin' at the World Series

Im sure many of you have already seen this video as it is all over the blogosphere, but I felt the urge to put it up here because I can't stop laughing. After breezing through every level of the little league all-star tournament, our beloved Mercer Islanders met their match in pool A of the World Series. After losing 5-3 to Iowa and 10-2 to NY to become mathmatically eliminated from the semi-finals, they still had to play their 3rd game in pool play. This game was against the betting favorite, Warner Robbins, GA. Going into the 6th our boys had a 2-1 lead, looking to get out of Williamsport with a little bit of their pride in tact. In to the game came Brandon Lawler to shut the door. 2 runs, 3 wild pitches, and 2 passed balls later, we had this beautiful exchange at the mound. Lucky for us we have all access so we can hear the cute little kids enjoying the game:

Holy Shit!!!!

We got a new Mustacheer!!!!!!

That's all.


John Candy... Leon... Doug E. Doug... I know what you're thinking... SPORTS MOVIE GOLD!!!! and you're right!

#24: Cool Runnings

This one didn't make my list... but now that I think about it, I wish it had. Pretty tough to watch that last race scene and not get a little emotional. Good stuff.

Feel the rhythm...

Bill Bavasi Signs Edgerrin James

SEATTLE – In what was later described as a tragic end to a foolish bet, Edgerrin James is now a Seattle Seahawk. The deal was the brainchild of the Hawks “GM for a Day” Bill Bavasi, who won the temporary honor in a wager with regular Seattle GM Tim Ruskell. “I bet him that he couldn’t fit his head through the bars on my staircase,” recalled a regretful Ruskell, “Those things are only like 3 inches apart. I still can’t believe he managed to do it.” But do it he did, and now the Seahawks have a new man in the backfield. “I’m thrilled to add Edgerrin James to this team,” said Bavasi, “Edge has been great with other teams, so it only stand to reason he’ll be great with ours!” Bavasi later lamented the fact that he only had one day in office, stating that he was also interested in signing LB Derrick Brooks, WR Marvin Harrison, and former CB Terrell Buckley. In the end, all Ruskell could do was apologize to fans; “We’re just going to have to move on, what’s done is done. I’m sorry I made the bet, it was obviously a stupid thing to do; although, if I’d won Bill Bavasi would be dead and everything would still be alright."


Mill Creek Sports Cards On a National Scale

Finally the Mill Creek sports card store has received the nationwide recognition it deserves. It was recently mentioned in this Jim Caple article. I heard the next piece he plans on writing is an expose on the Brady scandal.



#26 Tin Cup

To be honest... not sure I've seen this one all the way through. I mean it's ok, but never holds my attention. Sure the scene at the end is pretty memorable, but I dunno.

Here's what Draft Guru Pete (boy did he waste his winning post or what?) had to say about the flick:

"I can't be positive, but I think I was Cheech's inspiration for how he played the caddy in this film. "

Ooooh... sounds like a story somewhere in there.

So anyway, that about wraps up # 26, and... WHOA LOOK OUT!!!


A run in by #25!!!! A decent sports film! Days of Thunder.
Really rubbed you right out of th
e post Tin Cup. Rubbin is bloggin'. God that was lame.

No more posts for a bit from me. I'm off to begin "The Summer of Funn" (working title) And if you think there won't be a blog post about that... well... you'd be wrong.


Feats of strength / HCM Man of the Year

I apologize that it took this long to comment on this, but I think I'm finally ready. One of our strongest Mustacheers made it pretty clear that this needed to be mentioned... and you what? He was right.

On August 12th, in that monster extra inning game that the M's won (yay)... Adrian Beltre tore his sack. His ball sack.

Now I'm fuzzy on the details at this point, but he tore it in like the 9th INNING!!!! HE PLAYED ANOTHER 5 INNINGS WITH A HOLE IN HIS SACK!!!!!!!



Imagine the testicular fortitude (sorry) that it took!

For this reason alone (his sick D at the corner helps too), I'm making Adrian Beltre the first ever nominee for the prestigious
HCM Man of the Year
award. More nominees to follow.

Congrats Adrian, you deserve it!


I have a few fond memories of #27...

Necessary Roughness

My favorite moments? Glad you asked...

- QB 2 running for the ref's help screaming "blow the whistle, blow the whistle"
- Scotty Baks with the sleight of hand cheap shot... "This is my throwing hand... WHAM!" ... he didn't say Wham. HE SOCKED HIM!!! So big fuckin' dough-boy.
- Didn't even remember Bateman in this flick. Nice surprise.
- And my favorite moment? Not sure why, but it's when Robert Logia (sp?) has taken over in the final game (I think) and he runs some play that doesn't pan out.... then yells "NEVER RUN THAT PLAY AGAIN" and throws the playbook. At least that's how I remember it happening, and I still yell that line today at games. Those of you lucky enough to hit the Hawk's Nest with us probably know that already


More Mustacheers!!!!

Tell your friends!!!!


Even if you think we suck now. (C'mon, Erik's wrestler/baseball team comparison was good)


Leonardo supports the Cougs

Looks like Leonardo has great taste. This puts him ahead of Dolph Lundgren in terms of famous people affiliated with WSU
(Begin typing here for after the break)



Alright... this list just got good (up until now it's put our readership on life support.)


I love this movie.

What can be said that hasn't already been said about this cinematic masterpiece?!?!

Sure... M. Fox (the original M. Fox) has to jump to shoot free throws...

and sure.... there's no way they let Mick stand under the hoop for the final shots...

and suuuuuure.... this dude is the starting power forward:

and suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure... some extra whips his cock out at the end. Sorry no picture you, slime balls.

But you still gets tons of TEEN WOLF ACTION!!!!!

Surfing on the top of vans!

The Wolf Dance!

An epic final sports montage that has a fantastic theme song and stock footage used over and over again!

Hot ass Boof!

and I'm pretty sure the blond in just her bra after the rehearsal in her dressing room might have given me my first...WHAT!?!? sorry nevermind.

Teen Wolf rules. And I'll fight anyone who says otherwise.

Sorry Bateman. Better Luck next time.



#29 was actually rated #1 by one of our panel members. And without getting into too much detail... this is as far as it made it. A single first place vote. No other votes. Gentleman, and two or three ladies (if we're lucky)... I give you...

#29: 8 Seconds

Maybe now that Dylan McCkay is on our "blog" the female hits will go through the roof. Or maybe not.

Haven't seen this movie, but I'd be willing to bet a lot of money that it sucks.



I don't have a ton so say about #30: Slapshot.

I just saw it recently for the very first time. It starts out pretty funny, but kind of drags on. You do get to see Ralphie's mom naked (Christmas Story). But to be honest... I'm not sure how I felt about that.

Wanamaker loves this film. Hopefully he remembers to come by and say something.

RIP Paul Newman.



#31 Little Big League

I like this movie. The Mariner stuff was obviously a nice surprise, and Erik will do a better job of summarizing why this is a fun movie after the jump (YES! Such a blogger). I guess my biggest gripe was the main character. Just seems like a little d-bag. Anyway here's Erik's take...


Erik: " Ok, so I'm pretty sure my vote is the reason that this is where it is on the list, but I will make no apologies, this movie is great. The baseball scenes and discussion are surprisingly accurate and realistic. Of course, you have to look past the fact that it features a fairly annoying 12 year-old as a manager/owner of the Minnesota Twins. You get some good performances from greats such as Jason Robards, Dennis Farina, Timothy Busfield, and Jonathan Silverman. But obviously the best part of this movie is the one-game playoff between the Twins and the evil Seattle Mariners. Griffey dominates despite getting grifted by a hidden ball ruse and the Unit comes in to nail it down in a rare relief appearance. Now let's consider the fact that this movie came out in 1994. It was astonishingly prophetic when it comes to the M's '95 season. A one-game playoff, RJ coming in from the 'pen at some point (not in the playoff game, but close enough), and Junior just tearing shit up. I remember seeing this in the theater, there was audible snickering when it was revealed that the Mariners were in the playoff game, little did they know .... little .... did ..... they ..........know.

(I also want to say that there some cheers when the Mariners won at the end, but I can't say for sure. I remember being pretty excited though.)"

(Begin typing here for after the break) And here is the rest of it.


How I Became Kwame Brown's #1 (and only) Fan

In the "He Got Game" post there was a call for me to re-tell my Kwame Brown story in print form, so here it is. For those of you that have already heard it, hopefully it's worth hearing again; not to mention, this version comes with bonus pictures! But hey, enough of my yackin', whaddaya say, let's boogie!

January 10, 2007: It's a Tuesday night, a new semester has started, and a precocious youngster is about to become a man. It was the night of my 21st birthday. Being the law-abiding citizen that I am, I never purchased a fake ID, so this was my first night going out to the bars. I was good and hammered by the time I showed up to a bar in Manhattan Beach, Ca. We were having a decent time, and I was wracking up quite a few free beverages. At about 1:00 AM I overheard someone remark "Yeah, one of the Lakers is here." I scanned the bar to see who exactly they were referring to, sure enough it was the one and only Kwame Brown. I thought to myself, "Well that's lame, it's just Kwame." Then I thought, "How hilarious would it be to talk to Kwame Brown?" At this point, there are some differing reports. I seem to remember just walking up and talking to him, others say that I went into the bathroom and came out talking to him, either way a conversation had begun.

I was introduced to Kwame's "cousin" who asked me what we were up to. When I told him it was my 21st birthday he asked me how many drinks I had had. At this point I had no clue (only pussies count right?) so I told him 15. I continue to talk to Kwame for a couple of minutes about God knows what until the cousin taps me on the shoulder and says, "This should make an even 21." I turn to see 6 shots of tequila waiting on the bar. Keep in mind it was a good half hour after last call, so that tells you the kind of clout that Kwame's got. I know a few things when I see the shots:

1. I don't want to drink those.
2. I have to drink those.
3. If I drink those I will barf.

By now, my friends and Kwame Brown have gathered around so I have no choice but to step up to the bar. As I do, the bar tender points out the waste basket below me, assuming as I did that this would end messy. I started throwing the shots back, trying to get them down as quickly as possible. I was later told that I paused for a few seconds in between shots 3 and 4 took a deep breath and continued. I completed the remaining shots and made a bee-line for the bathroom, I knew I couldn't let Kwame see me like this:

Note: This is the actual picture.

When I returned I figured that because he bought me shots Kwame and I were good buddies. I asked him if he really liked Kobe, to which he said yes, to which I said, "Come on, seriously though, you probably hate him right?" He stuck to his guns. Then I said:

Me: Well, I'll tell who my boy is, Ray Allen.
Kwame: Oh you know Ray Allen?
Me: What? No! Of course I don't know him, I'm just saying he's my boy.
Kwame (disappointed): Oh.

I then layed out my thesis to him about why Ray Allen was cooler than Kobe Bryant, with my main argument being the sex scene with Rosario Dawson in "He Got Game." I believe it went something like this:

Me: You've seen He Got Game?
Kwame: Yeah
Me: Has Kobe ever grabbed Rosario Dawson's tits?
Kwame shakes his head no.
Me: Well, Ray Allen grabbed those tits.

At some point the following picture was taken to commemorate the night (apparently my breath reeked from the earlier puke sesh because Kwame's discreetly plugging his nose):

When all was said and done I think I'd talked to him for a good 20-30 minutes, not that he had done much talking. After that I decided this Kwame Brown guy, although widely despised by most sports fans, is alright by me. You're the best Kwams, I love ya buddy.



Any time you have Magnum PI and President David Palmer as the 3-4 hitters in your team's line up, not only do you have a great team....

.... but you've got a great movie.

#32: Mr. Baseball

I still say he should have swung for the fences!!! OOPS! Spoiler alert!!!

Trade Felix?

I don't understand why all the AM sportscasters are talking about how we have to hurry up and trade Felix. Geoff Baker said this morning he thinks they will trade Felix this off-season. We have him for 2 1/2 years, why can't we think that is enough time to show him that we are building a winner and sign him to a long term deal? What's the point to having a team if you are resigned to offloading players 2 years before they are up for free agency. If that is our mentality, it doesn't seem like we will ever be building a winner.


Welcome back Adrian Beltre

Do you think Mike Sweeney wears his pants that high to add a sense of
fun to the clubhouse?

Ken Griffey Jr.

I'm sure you've heard... but Manny and Papi cheated! Most people/analysts/talking heads are at the "who cares, everybody cheated" point of this whole PED & steroid mess.

Well FRACK THAT!!!! I'll tell you one guy never cheated, and it'll never come out that he did...


I'll stake my entire blogging reputation on the fact that this dude is, was, and always will be clean!

I love every new name that comes out (one would or two would break my heart, but we won't talk about that here), cuz the more names that are leaked, the better and better Junior becomes.

You know what's pretty crazy to think about? All the criticisms that have plagued Griffey for his career... the lack of working out... the injuries... the slow recovery time... those same points that his detractors used as ammo? Well, they'll be the same reasons Griffey will be remembered as the greatest of our generation!! They PROVE he was never on steroids!

Dudes are all yoked out? They're on juice.

Junior never worked out a day in his life!

Guys are coming back form injuries quicker and stronger? PEDS!!!

Not Griffey! He's hurt all the time!

Players are having career seasons late in their career?

Not Ken! He barely holds down a lineup spot... (sorry Griff... but that's true... and that's why you rule!)

We should feel pretty lucky as sports fans. Sure the M's may never win the World Series... but we'll all be able to see we saw the greatest player of our generation. LEGIT!

Ken Griffey, Jr.

(fuck you A-Rod)


#33: He Got Game


I really dug this movie. Denzel's line about Jesus being a biblical name and Ray's response still kills me.

I think I like this movie so much, because it stars Ray Allen. Back when the NBA existed... he was one the top 15 players around and was never treated like it. Luckily this movie came along and he got some much deserved respect in the form of... well here's Erik's comments:

ERIK: "I used the Ray Allen-Rosario Dawson sex scene in this movie as the main point in my argument with Kwame Brown as to why Ray was cooler than Kobe Bryant. He took it all in, but held steadfast to his position. I think he was in denial."

Two things:

A) Hopefully Erik will tell his Kwame Brown story, either in the comments or it's own post. It's pretty funny.

B) Erik is referring to Ray Allen getting to grab Rosario Dawson's sweet tits in the film.

GO RAY!!!!


If That Baseball Team Were a Wrestler ....

Have you ever wondered, "If that baseball team were a wrestler who would they be?" Well, I did. In fact, my curiosity went so far that it manifested itself as this post. Below is every team in the majors along with the wrestler that they would be. Are they all good comparisons? No. Are most them good? Questionable. Did I think of 5 good ones and then stretch it to encompass the whole league? Yes. But, it should be enjoyable nonetheless. So, without further ado, here's the answer or answers to the age old question.

NL East

Mets – Macho Man
-Won their first title in a miraculous effort, ’69 Mets, Wrestlemania IV Macho. Later won another title and are a somewhat marquee name in the sport. However, they have been marred by drug use and ridiculous debacles, for the Mets it’s been their last two Septembers and for Macho a rap album.

Phillies – Chris Benoit
-Took them a long time to get over the hump and had a reputation for not being able to win the title. But finally they broke through, and everyone lived happily ever after. That’s it, that’s how it ended.

Marlins – “Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase
-Only care about the bottom line, and they’re not above buying a championship. They’re also not afraid to sell everything it took to win that title as long as it’ll turn a profit. Both have man-servants named Virgil.

Braves – Mr. Perfect
-Always technically sound and executed very well. Despite being good enough to win a title for a long period of time, they never did get there. Oh, the Braves won a World Series in ’95? I thought they called the season after Edgar’s double … no?

Nationals – The Repo Man
-His angle was that he literally was a repo man, someone who would come and take your stuff when you couldn't pay for it any longer, which is more or less what Washington D.C. did to Montreal. Also, both were better known under different names. And they both suck … hard.

NL Cent

Cubs – Mick Foley

-Lovable losers. Fan favorites that always seemed to come out on the losing end in the biggest situations. And for some reason it seems like they enjoy putting people over.

Cardinals – Bret Hart
-Consistently run organization that you just have to respect. They’ve won many titles in the past. Never the flashiest, but they always get the job done.

Reds – Kane

-The Reds dynasty of the 70s was called … the Big Red Machine. That’s good enough for me! Oh wait a minute, I forgot about the Nasty Boyz! I wanna go back1 I have to go back!

Pirates – Jake “The Snake” Roberts

-Had some good times in the late 80s/early 90s but now they’ve devolved into a shell of their former selves. Everybody agrees at this point that they’re pretty much bat-shit crazy. Not to mention the way they always push away the ones they love.

Brewers – “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan

-Longtime mediocre team deserves a longtime mediocre wrestler. Also, I feel like Hacksaw could fit in pretty well while tailgating outside a Brewers game.

Astros – Rowdy Roddy Piper

-Just when you think you’ve got all the answers, the Houston Astros change the question. I mean, c’mon, they introduced the concept of playing on carpet and they put a hill in centerfield. Neither one has won a title, and I’m not sure either ever deserved to. Yep, I said it.

NL West

Diamondbacks – Brock Lesnar
-Won the title immediately after entering the league. Then grew tired of the sport and left for other things …what’s that? The Diamondbacks still play baseball?

Dodgers – Shawn Michaels

-Perennial contenders with a flare for the dramatic. For the Dodgers it was Jackie stealing home or Gibson’s one-legged homer, for Michaels it’s been countless Wrestlemania moments.

Rockies – Triple H

-Much in the same way that the thin air of Colorado inflated many of the Rockies’ statistics, the WWF’s ridiculous amount of title-swapping in recent years has lead to Triple H having a stupid amount of titles.

Padres – Yokozuna

-The Padres have made it to the World Series twice, losing in 5 games in ’84 and getting swept in ’98. Yokozuna had similarly poor performances in the two Wrestlemanias he main-evented (IX & X). On the other hand you really can't blame either of them for it; the Padres came up against two great teams, and Yokozuna was 600 lbs. Also, for a long time the Padres had the saves leader in Trevor Hoffman, while Yokozuna had Mr. Fuji who saved many a match for him with a handful of salt to the opponent’s eyes.

Giants – Hulk Hogan

Maybe a little too good for the Giants, but let’s look at the facts. Both had a lot of titles early in their career. Both made a stunning heel turn: Hogan to the nWo, the Giants leaving New York. Both came agonizingly close to greatness in 2002: Hogan nearly beating The Rock at Wrestlemania X-8, the Giants blowing a 5-0 lead in game 6 of the World Series. Throw in the Barry Bonds corollaries: steroid use and a lame reality show, and there’s really no getting around it.

AL East

Yankees – Ric Flair

-The dirtiest players in the game, willing to do whatever it takes to win. They’re all about the luxurious lifestyle. You hate them, but you have to respect them. They have more titles than anybody else.

Blue Jays – Ultimate Warrior

-Both are from parts unknown. Won the title then disappeared for the most part.

Red Sox – The Rock

-Rode a wave of popularity to their title win, then immediately turned heel. From there on out they received extremely polarized reactions, either you love them or you hate them. (Applies more to the Red Sox current situation than their whole history)

Rays – Barry Horowitz

-Pathetic losers who actually get a push for once in their existence, then everybody laughs about it afterwards.

Orioles – Sid Justice
-Both are better suited to play softball.

AL Central

White Sox – Ravishing Rick Rude

-Much in the same way that 8 White Sox were banned from baseball in 1919, Rick Rude was banned from the WWF in 1991 for making insensitive comments about Big Bossman’s mother. Both are also known for their creative, borderline ridiculous outfits.

Royals – Dusty Rhodes

-I always hear they were really good back in the 70s. Could’ve fooled me, every time I watch them they’re boring as hell.

Tigers – Goldberg

-Rode a record-setting hot start (’84 Tigers: 20-4, Goldberg 200-0, or whatever it was) to a title. After that they were never as good and they both carelessly ended legends’ careers Goldberg by kicking Bret Hart in the head and the Tigers by forcing Billy Chapel into retirement. And look, they're making the same face.

Twins – “Superfly” Jimmy Snuka

-The Twins have a unique home-field advantage, and thus they play a different brand of baseball. Of course, Superfly had a different brand of wrestling that he utilized to his advantage. Both have an iconic leaping moment – Snuka’s big splash from the top of the cage, and Kirby’s catch against the glass in the ’91 World Series.

Indians – Randy “The Ram” Robinson
-Since the best thing about the Indians is the movie that was based on them, I chose a movie wrestler to represent them. Much like the Ram, the Indians’ best days are long behind them.

AL West

A's – Superstar Billy Graham

-Known for being very flashy (70s A’s) and taking lots of steroids (late 80s A’s)

Angels – Goldust

-These guys are all fags. And every time they win it feels like I get kicked in the balls.

Rangers – Eddy Guerrero

-Eddy was all about cheating to win, well, no organization has had as many prominent cheaters as Texas over the past two decades. Sosa, Raffy Palmeiro, Ivan Rodriguez, Canseco, Juan Gonzalez, they were all Rangers. Unfortunately, the whole winning part hasn’t worked out as well for Texas.

Mariners – Ricky Steamboat

-First, there’s the Asian connection. The M's have an Asian owner, their "best" player is Asian, and they have a strong Asian fanbase; Steamboat is Asian. Neither has won the world title, but at one point they were considered the most talented in the sport. For Steamboat it was the mid to late 80s, and for the M’s it was the mid to late 90s. Steamboat’s Wrestlemania III performance can compare to the '95 team, which means his lame return in the early 90s was the last couple seasons for the Mariners.

So there you have it. The definitive list. Actually, I'm willing to bet it's the only list.