If I were a cynical, sarcastic, bitter, angry Coug fan I'd say: "great job today guys! Way to NOT embarrass yourselves! Klay... way to show up! Way to play smart D! Other guys... way to step up when Klay went out! When all else fails? Hustle and crash dem boards. Coach Bone... great on the fly adjustments! And most importantly... way to stick with it guys! Never give up, compete to last second!!!" that's what I would say. But I'm not that kind of fan. Of course not. I'm a good Coug fan. So I'll just say: "Go Cougs! And please come back everyone. Next year could be fun"

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Ready to play!!!

Every year me and my good pal, and your party host Fortune, get together and hype ourselves up about this year's M's season. This year... may be our toughest year ever. Nevertheless... we must live on... we have to survive. Here's how the Mariners can win the World Series:

Mr. F: Hey FORTUNE?!? Long time no speak! It's that time of year. I think the M's can win the World Series and I'm willing to bet that you feel the same! Want to get into this shizz? For starters... actually not starters yet... I mean divisions. Let's forget about the Wild Card. We need to win the West. Agreed?

Fortune: Do I want to get into this shizz, Mr F.? Come on now, does a cow drink milk?!!

Mr. F: Um, yes?

Fortune: Of course it does!! I agree we should not discuss the wild card because there is no shot at that with all the teams in the AL that are better than us. Luckily for us, 3 of the ones that aren’t happen to reside in the AL West.

Mr. F: Honestly, they probably ARE better, but it's still the weakest division. No strong rotations (Oakland if it progresses and stays healthy) and only one strong lineup in Texas. But we're not making cases for those collections of dingelberries. We're making a case for the Ms. Let's start with the two givens... Felix and Ichiro must maintain their excellence. Nothing shocking there. I'd also argue that our bullpen with a fresh combo of young hard throwers should be more than adequate. The real issues are in the lineup and starting pitching... but how much does that ever affect the outcome of a ball game? Now, where to first? Starting pitching or our fear inducing line up?

Fortune: I feel like I’m inside Shakers at 2:00am looking at some less than ideal options (or so the feeling has been explained to me). As for pitching, I think the M’s nailed it in their new commercial where Felix dresses up in differently and changes the 1st letter in his name on his jersey

Mr. F: I only hooked up with 10's, or I didn't hook up at all. ... Let's start with the pitchers. We've covered the excellence that is the King, now there's 4 other spots.... I think 4 and 5 are fine with Fister and Vargas in either order, with a little more consistency. Here's the tough stuff... We need Pineda to make an immediate impact and be a STRONG #3 starter. I think he can easily get there, this year may be tough though. That leaves a big #2 hole... hee hee... and who better to fill that gaping 2 hole than Erik Bedard. Hey, he's been pitchign great this Spring. IF he stays healthy... and IF Pineda contributes right away and IF Vargas and Fister can replicate the high stretches from last year... than that's a pennant winning rotation!

Fortune: I think Fister is probably the best bet to fill up that 2 hole. If he pitches like we think he can, we would certainly make a good number 5 starter. Totally agree with you on the rotation. It’s the bullpen that worries me the most. It looks like we are going to rely on Cortes (has since been sent down) and Leuke who are both gonna be rookies. I heard Ray talking on the radio and it sounded like he still wants to start. That coupled with Ardsma’s hip issue, who knows how hes gonna pitch this year. Oh wait, we are supposed to pump ourselves up…

Mr. F: Yeah, stay the course... the bullpen will be fine. Aardsma sucks anyway. Let League close games. The young guys will shine. If they stay out of prison. It's solid. The lineup? Well... we can fix that too.

Fortune: Let’s go round the horn (backwards) as they say. Ichiro is going to have a season of earthquake proportion. Put Guti down for .280 and 20 HRs. Saunders has a break out year. Jack Wilson plays decent D. Figgins is obviously going to bounce back to the all-star caliber 3B he thought he was coming in to play before Wakamatsu’s failed 2B experiment. Ackley hit like a 500 ft homerun the other day, hes the best hitter in the minors right now, he will start opening day. Smoak will break out as well, probably 40 HRs, 115 RBIs. That just leaves Olivo who can speak Spanish when Felix is on the mound.

Mr. F: Too soon, Fortune... too soon... anyway... I like the way you think as far as the lineup goes, and Olivo and Wilson will be 8 and 9 so no worries if they aren't the dynamos with the stick that the rest of our lineup is. Plus, our rotation will be rock solid so if we need to trade, it'll only be for a SS or Catcher and maybe some bullpen help. Buuuuut you forgot about DH! But no worries, cuz that'll be awesome too!! Either we have a solid year from Jacky Cust, or Milton makes the team and reverts back to that Texas Ranger form that once made some fool trade Andre Ethier and Carloz Gonzalez for him in a fantasy league. I really hope Milton makes the team. At the very least it'll give us a chance to run this again!

Fortune: I should have gone with “unleash a tsunami of singles”. Did you hear one hit the Oregon coast last week? I think the thing I am most looking forward to this season is our new manager. Wak was obviously in over his head and I have been getting some pretty good vibes from our new Skip. Plus he has a kick ass mustache! If everything plays out as I would expect it to, put me down for 93 wins which I say wins the west.

Mr. F: Nice try Fortune, bu I have it equaling 95 wins. Guess I just love the Mariners a little bit more. But I do agree on Wedge's mustache. I've come around on him pretty quickly, and I think most of it has to do with the mustache. Well that was pretty easy actually. Any preference on who play win the first round of the playoffs?

Fortune: The Twins, for obvious reasons

Mr. F: Ha! Yes! Right... but... explain the obvious reasons so the Mustacheers can get in on this.

Fortune: because my brother looks like me. I can try and find a picture. And I would prefer to beat the AL East time in the ALCS

Finn: Of course.

Ok there you have it. M's win the West before decimiating the rest of baseball on route to the 2011 World Series. It's gonna be a magical year! And with that we'll start every season just like the Mariners start every game with two little words: Baseball time!

Go Mariners!


Key arena

No service. Bloodlust high though.

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Voyage to the key

YouTube Video

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I'll try and retroactively post my photos and vids.

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This app wasn't worth the digital ink it was printed on. Or key arena sucks shit for coverage. Either way this day is ruined.

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Heading towards the Key soon...

Nails bloodlust is rising.

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Live blog starts now!!!

Just checked in at the Spectator to fan up for another 1 and a half hours or so.

Bloodlust is brewing.

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Why Arizona and Kentucky Will Make the Final Four

I realize it's not very shocking to say that two teams, currently in the Elite Eight will end up getting to the Final Four, but this is more than just a prediction, it's an educated guess based on research!

Last night, while watching Kentucky hang with Ohio St. I thought back about other 4 seed over 1 seed upsets, and how often the team that pulls the upset ends up winning their next game and making the Final Four. So I looked into it, and as it turns out the last 10 teams to beat a 1 seed in the Sweet 16 have gone on to the Final Four. The last time it didn't happen was 1995 when (4) Virginia beat (1) Kansas but then lost to (2) Arkansas in the next round. The teams in question have always been a 4 or 5 seed and in 7 of the 10 cases they have gone on to beat higher seeds in the next round.

This year two teams fit the description, the aforementioned Arizona and Kentucky. They're facing a 3 seed and a 2 seed, respectively, but as I just explained, that shouldn't really matter.

So why does this happen? I would argue that the fragile young men that typically make up a college basketbell team ride the confidence gained from their win over a top team to another victory two days later. Plus if they get to the Final Four they get to visit awesome places like Minneapolis, St. Petersburg or Indianapolis.


Good news everyone!!!

I've got an app that let's me post to this blog easily from my iPhone (as my signature suggests). Just in time to live blog the UFCs first live event in Seattle. That's right Mustacheers! Tomorrow, I'll be coming to you LIIIIIIIIIVE from the Key Arena for FIGHT NIGHT!

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HCM Weight Loss Challenge Results 2011

The results you've all been waiting for... to take a look at this year's weigh in photos click here and here.

Now feast your eyes on the beefcakes as they currently exist:

In last place: Mr. Purple (no photo available) Final weight: 231 lbs. 5 lbs. lost.

4th place: Mr. Yellow (no photo available) Final Weight: 188.8 lbs. 14.6 lbs. lost.

3rd place: Mr. Red (this dude just took a body fat percentage test, and it said 13.3%... you show me where?!?!?)

177 lbs. 16.4 lbs LOST (best show ever)

2nd place: Mr. Blue (the brass ring eludes him again, but we're all still proud of him)

169 lbs. (hehe) 19.2 lbs. lost

and in his maiden HCM Weight Loss Challenge journey... this year's winner... MR. ORANGE!!!

173.6 lbs. 35.2 lbs. (and a new HCM WL record) lost!!!!

A great year by all competitors, here he is again, your champion, Mr. Orange!

Congrats on your victory!


A True Gentleman's Game

There are a lot of puns I could use  to spice up this post, but I'll let the video speak for itself

Thanks to Geoff Shackelford


Tourney Time!

Participate in this year's HCM march madness bracket here:


The password is HCM and the league id is # 1407

The winner gets their own post! Ask Eddie how it changed his life last year when he won! Eddie? ... Eddie?

Also, most of your Party Hosts have taken Thursday and Friday off... so if you wanna party with the Party Hosts just come on over!


35th Anniversay Seahawks team

I guess they voted on this on the Seahawks website... WHO KNEW!?!?!?

Here's the results:


Pretty solid actually. Couple of thoughts:

- I think I'd already have Leon Washington as our kick returner though, and probably punt returner.

- As much as I hate to say it, can you make a case for Josh Brown?

- John Carlson? Really? I hope he ends up that way, but there's gotta be somebody else in the last 35 years who was better. Hell, maybe even Itula Mili (sp?). BTW... did he ever pass that crap?

Curt Schilling on The One True King

Maybe Curt isn't the giant doo doo head I thought he was:



The 1989 Cleveland Indians

A few names in the press as of late and I thought it might be fun to take a walk down memory lane. 1989 Cleveland Indians were a magical team to be sure. A real cinderella story if there ever was one.

However, the years have not been as kind to Chief Whaoo's Tribe. The last 12 months have been especially rough.

Let's take a look...

Willie "Mays" Hays: currently serving time for tax evasion.

Lou Brown: passed away. RIP.

Jake Taylor: a victim of identity fraud. A person posing as Taylor infiltrated the dreams of others to perform corporate espionage. YIKES!

and Rick Vaughn: well... in the words of the legendary Harry Doyal, he has gone "OFF the Reservation".

Roger Dorn? Haven't heard shit! Get to work Dorn. Rob a bank or some shit. At least it gives me a chance to show this pic:

And don't even get me started on Mitchell Freedman.

Even after all that... I'd still take this crew against any other team in the league right now. Well except for this legendary squad that the M's are putting on the field in '11.

Hey!!! Baseball! Right guys!

Wild Thing

Loyal Mustacheer EP passed this one... and it's one of the greatest links I've ever seen.

You know the affinity we have for Mr. Sheen at this site, and his latest string of media interactions jsut hammers home what we already know. Wild Thing is the fucking man!


Valley Road Sandys

Alright Draft Guru Pete! You've had enough face time at the top of the site.... let's get back to what folks really care about here. The HCM Weight Loss Challenge.

Now this year's competition is coming to an end, but for those of you who want a get a jump start on next year's competition, I introduce to you... the Valley Road Sandy (picture not available).

The Valley Road Sandy was invented by three young college students in Pullman, WA in roughly the year 2000. This sandwich was delicious, thought provoking, and will ultimately kill you.

I encourage you all to start making and eating these sandwiches on a daily basis so you can compete next year. Good luck to those of you who survive.

The Valley Road Sandy:

What you'll need:

- Wheat bread
- Ranch Dressing
- Cheddar Cheese
- Ham (one of those big shrink wrapped ones that nobody ever buys)
- Bacon


- Start with two slices of wheat bread, toasted.
- Apply ranch dressing to both slices of bread, liberally
- Cut two THICK slices of ham (the thicker the better), and place a slice of cheddar cheese on top (for thickness instructions refer to instructions on previously mentioned ham). Microwave the ham to melt the cheese. Time will vary depending on the girth of your ham slices.
- Once your microwave is free (preferably you have 2 microwaves) microwave 3 slices of bacon until crispy.
- Place crispy bacon slices on top of melted cheese/ham combo and cover with the second slice of toasted, ranched bread
- Slice down the middle so you can lift it.
- Complement your sandwich with a choice of frozen fried potato. The author suggests tots, but crinkle cut fries, wedges, or shoe string fries are more than acceptable.


(the authors of this blog assume no responsibility for the affect the Valley Road Sandy has on the human body, mind or general condition. Thank you.)