7.31.2008

What is Williams Really Up To?

The is no way that the White Sox are trading for Ken Griffey Jr. to bolster their lineup for a pennant run. Its pretty obvious to me that he is planning on trading him to the M's, but for Aumont or Truinfel?

7.30.2008

Steve Phillips Chat from today

Recently I've had quite a bit of success in making it into the ESPN.com chats. I find the simpler pleasures in life are all I have these days.

I asked Steve Phillips a question in the chat room today:

"Any chance some moron gm offers the M's a can't miss pitching prospect for Washburn, similar to that Kazmir for Zambrano deal of a few years back?"

He did not respond.

That's all I got for now.

7.25.2008

What to do with the NBA the resolution

Well I had two more groups, one with a slim chance of me rooting for them: Philly, Cleveland, Atlanta, Magic, Wiz, Clips, Denver, Phoenix, and OKC, as well as the group of teams I could actually see myself rooting for: Charlotte, Dallas, Memphis, Portland and N.O. But poster Erik basically blew my end game, that I wouldn't be rooting for any team and the NBA licks sack. SO I think I'll just stop.

7.24.2008

What to do with the NBA part 2

The Mark Rossolo Group
Teams I just don't care about either way...
I've got nothing for or against these squads. Let's hear what you think gang:
New Jersey Nets
Toronto Raptors
Indiana Pacers
MIlwaukee Bucks
Houston Rockets
Minnesota T-Wolves
Utah Jazz
Golden State Warriors
Miami Heat
For those scoring at home, all their point totals came out to a total of zero. Exactly! If someone can come up with a reason to care about these teams then I'll look into it.... actually every team probably could've fell into this category.

Jarrod Washburn

According to the ESPN.com's rumor department, there are roughly 4 to 5 teams that could be competing for Washburn's services before the trade deadline. I can't wait to see how the Mariner's screw this up.

7.23.2008

Who Wears Jeans To A Wedding??

and a t-shirt ta boot


Rick Mahorn is the victim (further review)

I took a closer look at that last photo wanamaker...
and let's just say it's disturbing what I saw....



Rick Mahorn is the victim


How could this possibly be his fault gang

What to do with the NBA

I'm guessing the NBA will be torture to watch next season with our beloved SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUper Sonics stolen away. But if I'm going to watch it all, I'll need to find a new team to root for. I decided to break down each team with a scientific point based system on multiple categories. The results are below.




The Vince McMahon Group


as in NO CHANCE... No chance in hell that I'm rooting for them



San Antonio Spurs

Players

- Tim Duncan looks like an alien and complains about EVERY call that goes against him. In short... he is infuriating. - 1,000 points.
- Tony Parker. Tony Parker is French and screws a Hollywood starlet. He destroyed the Sonics every time he played us. - 500 points,
- Manu Ginobli. The NBA hasn't seen a collection of players more annoying since the mid-90's Sacramento Queens. He's a flopper. I hate him. -10,000,000 points

Fans

- They're fine I suppose. 0 points

Championships

- They've won enough. -100 points

Wild Card

- High Def. Greg Popovich. - 50 points

Total: -10,001,650 points


Sacramento Kings

Players

- Most of them aren't there anymore, but I still can't get over the most annoying group of players ever assembled. Mike Bibby, Doug Christie, Valde Divac, and Brad Miller. I'm probably forgetting someone, but GAWD!!! I hate these whiny, floppy little pricks. -1,000,000 points

Fans

- They have good fans. Their owners are tyring to move em to Vegas and they still show up for the most part. Good job. + 50 points

Championships

- They could use one. + 50 points

Wild Card

- The Maloofs are rich playboys from Vegas. I'm jealous. - 100 points

Total: -1,000,000 points


New York Knicks

Players

- Nate Robinson is a punk ass. - 1000 points
- Jerome James is a lazy loser. But he did create one of the more memorable Sonics moments for me which occurred when he had 4 consecutive points and a blocked shot. + 1 point
- Starbury is a nut case. + 3 points

Fans

- New Yorkers. - 1000 points

Championships

- They have a couple. - 50 points

Wild Card

- Keith Green's favorite team. + 1 point

Total: - 2047 points


Pistons

Players

- The whole group as a whole bugs me. They always act like they're entitled to something. -50 points
- Rasheed is hilarious: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pKqFg7Tuocg 1 point.

Fans

- They started the Malice at the Palace. - 100 points

Championships

- Check. -100 points.

Wild Card

- Mason. Their announcer. Shut up dude. You're lame. MIIIIIIIINUS POOOOOINTS. - 500 points.

Total: - 749 points


Chicago Bulls

Players

- They've got some great players that would be fun to root for. TT, Deng, Rose, etc. + 250 points

Fans

- Eh.

Championships

- See, here we go. They've got too many, and I never like Jordan anyway so... - 500 points

Wild Card

- Screw the Bulls, the only people who root for them are the Mark's from Elko types. - 100 points

Total: - 350 points


Los Angeles Lakers

Players

- Kobe's a prick. -100 points
- Vlad Rad is a weirdo. + 3 pts

Fans

- A bunch of movie stars, wannabes, and posers. -46 pts

Championships

- They've won enough. - 100 pts

Wild Card

- The Zen Master. Would be fun to see him beat Red's record. +25 pts

Total: -218 pts




Boston Celtics

Players:


- Jesus Shuttlesworth. Ray Allen was a joy to root for as a Sonic, vastly underrated in the league, and from all indications a real solid dude. I missed him in Seattle. +1000 points.


- Kevin Garnett. This guy's a phoney. His post championship reactions were comical. As in... what's wrong with this guy. He's trying to hard. In short, I hate him more than Mr. Petchow hates vermin. - 500 points.

Fans:


- Lame Boston fans. Not all of them. But most of them. Most annoying fans in sports right now. - 500 points.

Championships:


- Boston's won enough. If I'm not rooting for a Seattle team, I'd like it to be for a city who hasn't won anything in awhile. -100 points

Wild Card:


- NA

Total: -100 Points






There's the first grouping... more to come tomorrow. I know you can't wait gang.

Finn

Pity this man

I once knew a "sports fan" that we'll call "Mark". Mark was from a town called... oh let's jst say... "Elko". Mark from Elko grew up without ever knowing what it was like to have a pro sports team in your hometown... or anywhere even close!! Sad, I know. So what did he do? He did the best he could. I asked him who his favorite teams were growing up. His answers were (for the most part) fair. He seemed to stick to the geographically closest teams. In football he went with the Broncos. They represented the closest NFL team to him. The same could be said for his favorite baseball team. The Oakland Athletics. The Bash Bros were at the peak of their popularity... but still, (remember the Rockies weren't around back then, otherwise I'm sure Mark from Elko would've rooted for them as well). When I got to asking Mark about his basketball team, I already assumed he would say the Nuggest or Warriors (geography again). I was not pleasantly surprised wehn he told me he preferred to root for one Michael "Air" Jordan and the Chicago Bulls. Mark from Elko was just some crummy bandwagon jumper. WHAT A JOKE!!!

This is the kind of thing we at HenryCottosMustache are trying to stop. Let's put an end to the Mark's from Elko of the world. Let's develop a better sports fan.

I just pray that somewhere out there that Mark from Elko has made his peace with the world and isn't still tortured by never having a home town team to root for. He was a good man. Just dealt a shitty hand.

God bless you Mark from Elko. Wherever you are.

WNBA Brawl

I've had it!! After last night's WNBA brawl I'm just too disgusted with that league of thugs. I say to you NOW members of the HenryCottosMustache nation... I will NEVER watch another WNBA game in my life. Never.

Soccer fan?

I thought our resident soccer nerd would post about this, but time's up.

Kevin Calabro is going to be the voice of our very own soccer franchise. Very intriguing. I'm happy he'll get a paying gig and be able to stay in the area. Just wondering how difficult the transition will be.

I do know one thing. The Sounders (that's their name right?) could have signed the best player on Earth, like Colby Jones, Alexi Beardo, or Posh Spice and I wouldn't have been more excited. Calabro might actually get me to watch a soccer game.

Go Sounders(?)!!!

Lefty's have it easy

When Randy Johnson was with the Mariners every team used to rest their best left handed hitters when he was on the mound. Dave Niehaus would even joke about them getting the day off. Right handed hitters never get this luxury, in fact you would think much less of Albert Pujols if he took the day off every time the Cardinals faced a premier righty. It seems like this is one of those old baseball thoughts that it's harder for lefties to hit lefties than it is for righties to hit righties.

7.22.2008

If i were to write a book of total fiction...

It would be about baseball players. Pitchers to be exact. We would perhaps follow a once great player named Nrubhsaw who was a few bad starts from being out of a job. He heard of this juice, sort of like Pineapple Juice, so we will just call it P.J. There were rumors in the club house that there was a source of this juice available upstairs so he went up there looking for it but couldnt find it. He spent months trying to get the juice from this source to no avail. When he was on the road he called trying to find some way to get the P.J to the city of his next start. Then one night before pitching against the San Diego Madres he disovered the source of this P.J was right there. He placed an order via text message and sat in room all night on the bed just waiting for a knock at the door. Around 1:00 AM, knock knock. There it was in all it's wonderful glory. It was getting late so he figured he would go right after it. He realized at that moment that he may never have another opportunity to get this juice so he better drink as much as possible. Nrubhsaw spent the next hour extracting P.J from the souce with the vigor of a champion. He had no idea that the juice would give him so much energy. He walked over to the stereo on put in a his specail pre-start mixed tape. He laid there doing the hokey pokey for hours. He doesnt remember falling asleep, but when his alarm went off in the morning the energy was gone. He was about to hop in the shower when he got a small whiff of the P.J residue remaining in his poorly formed beard. He got to the stadium 2 hours prior to 1st pitch and got nothing but crap from his teammates. He explained to them how difficult it was to extract this P.J. He went out and everytime he got into a jam he took a deep breath to be reminded of the juice. He ended up getting traded 5 starts later and was World Series MVP.

7.21.2008

first full day's bloggin'

this blog hasnt taken off like I hoped it would. Maybe it's first full blog day jitters?

Devones Girl Goes Down (but not like he was hoping)

Player 1: you know the roommate

Player 2: the hottie who nailed devone?

Player 1: yes

Player 2: go on...

Player 1: they all went up to the cabin this weekend

Player 2: great place. fun for all!

Player 1: she decides to start bonging beer at about 11.00 AM saturday morning, she falls down the stairs and breaks her ankle

Player 2: ewwww. ouch

Player 1: they take her get her all fixed up, and they head back to the cabin to continue their night, later that night she falls down the stairs again and breaks her arm

Player 2: hahaha

Player 1: hahahahahahah

Player 2: what is wrong with this girl!!!

Troubling revelations




7.20.2008