7.22.2008

If i were to write a book of total fiction...

It would be about baseball players. Pitchers to be exact. We would perhaps follow a once great player named Nrubhsaw who was a few bad starts from being out of a job. He heard of this juice, sort of like Pineapple Juice, so we will just call it P.J. There were rumors in the club house that there was a source of this juice available upstairs so he went up there looking for it but couldnt find it. He spent months trying to get the juice from this source to no avail. When he was on the road he called trying to find some way to get the P.J to the city of his next start. Then one night before pitching against the San Diego Madres he disovered the source of this P.J was right there. He placed an order via text message and sat in room all night on the bed just waiting for a knock at the door. Around 1:00 AM, knock knock. There it was in all it's wonderful glory. It was getting late so he figured he would go right after it. He realized at that moment that he may never have another opportunity to get this juice so he better drink as much as possible. Nrubhsaw spent the next hour extracting P.J from the souce with the vigor of a champion. He had no idea that the juice would give him so much energy. He walked over to the stereo on put in a his specail pre-start mixed tape. He laid there doing the hokey pokey for hours. He doesnt remember falling asleep, but when his alarm went off in the morning the energy was gone. He was about to hop in the shower when he got a small whiff of the P.J residue remaining in his poorly formed beard. He got to the stadium 2 hours prior to 1st pitch and got nothing but crap from his teammates. He explained to them how difficult it was to extract this P.J. He went out and everytime he got into a jam he took a deep breath to be reminded of the juice. He ended up getting traded 5 starts later and was World Series MVP.

4 comments:

finn said...

I would buy that book.

wanamaker said...

buy it? I lived it gang.

Fortune said...

Even if i told you that you had to disgustingly over pay for it, realize half-way through it that it sucked, and not one person would want to buy your used copy off of amazon.com

finn said...

You bet. Cuz I think after I realized my error I could still trade it to this guy I know in the Bronx for a couple of marginal younger books that might not ever be any good, but at leaset I wouldn't have that old shitty book.