7.23.2008

Pity this man

I once knew a "sports fan" that we'll call "Mark". Mark was from a town called... oh let's jst say... "Elko". Mark from Elko grew up without ever knowing what it was like to have a pro sports team in your hometown... or anywhere even close!! Sad, I know. So what did he do? He did the best he could. I asked him who his favorite teams were growing up. His answers were (for the most part) fair. He seemed to stick to the geographically closest teams. In football he went with the Broncos. They represented the closest NFL team to him. The same could be said for his favorite baseball team. The Oakland Athletics. The Bash Bros were at the peak of their popularity... but still, (remember the Rockies weren't around back then, otherwise I'm sure Mark from Elko would've rooted for them as well). When I got to asking Mark about his basketball team, I already assumed he would say the Nuggest or Warriors (geography again). I was not pleasantly surprised wehn he told me he preferred to root for one Michael "Air" Jordan and the Chicago Bulls. Mark from Elko was just some crummy bandwagon jumper. WHAT A JOKE!!!

This is the kind of thing we at HenryCottosMustache are trying to stop. Let's put an end to the Mark's from Elko of the world. Let's develop a better sports fan.

I just pray that somewhere out there that Mark from Elko has made his peace with the world and isn't still tortured by never having a home town team to root for. He was a good man. Just dealt a shitty hand.

God bless you Mark from Elko. Wherever you are.

10 comments:

Julian said...

Who do you think this Mark from Elko roots for in college sports? I hear he roots for the Ducks given its geographical closeness to Pullman and their awesome jerseys.

finn said...

Funny that you bring that up Julian... he in fact has been known to proudly wear an Oregon Ducks sweatshirt whenever asked. Weird.

Fortune said...

I bet this Mark from Elko is fat too. Poor bastard

Mark Rossolo said...

I don't know what concerns me more: that fact that your homoerotic love for this 'Mark' led you to write about his life in one of the inaugural blogs on this site, or that you are so jealous of his life, which I'm told is very classy, that you have memorized every last detail.

This is by far the worst site on the internet. I would call it a blog, but that would be an insult to every blogger in the world.

Did you steal the template for this site from Perez Hilton? Sure looks like it, don't worry though, I'm sure the chicks are going to come here to read all about your gay fantasies that have no hope of coming true.

Pete said...

I agree with everything the last guy said. This really is the worst site on the internet. please do us a favor and remove it. Respectfully, your brother.

finn said...

Interesting to note that both Mark Rossolo and pete seem to share the same profile.

Also, Mark... what makes you think this blog is about you.

Fortune said...

That mark rossolo guy sure is tough. Especially the part where he accuses us of stealing Perez Hilton's template.

Pete said...

Mark Rossolo knows it's not about him, because you clearly state that 'Mark' is not the real name of the person.

You may be a hypocrit, but I don't think you're a liar.

How's the search for a new favorite basketball team going? I'm sure you'll do the right thing and pick the Blazers, because according to this article you have no choice but to like the teams that are geographically close to you (and in case you didn't know it, the Blaze Show is the closest to you).

finn said...

I understand why a fool like you might think that way. Unfortunately... all bets are off when a team is ripped from your city and stolen.

wanamaker said...

I don't know what concerns me more: that fact that your homoerotic love for this 'Mark' led you to write about his life in one of the inaugural blogs on this site, or that you are so jealous of his life, which I'm told is very classy, that you have memorized every last detail.

This is by far the worst site on the internet. I would call it a blog, but that would be an insult to every blogger in the world.

Did you steal the template for this site from Perez Hilton? Sure looks like it, don't worry though, I'm sure the chicks are going to come here to read all about your gay fantasies that have no hope of coming true.