Sports n stuff!

Sorry for the no posts! But I got a feelign this will be updated much more consistently reeeeeeal soon.

Ok so sports...

If you're like me, you're cautiously enjoying this little run the M's are on! Well, here's something to bring ya back to earth: http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/columns/story?columnist=crasnick_jerry&id=6581022

And how bout them Canucks?!?!

Pretty impressive stuff!!!

What's even more impressive is local pest Bateman actually handled himself with a little dignity on the message boards. Good series Bateman.

Also... not sure if anyone cares, but we still have some update spots available. If you would liek to be notified of new posts or comments on HCM we can email you automatically when that happens. Let me know if you'd liek to be added to the list. Space is limited. And while it may seem that way... this is not a joke.

Ready to play!!!

Every year me and my good pal, and your party host Fortune, get together and hype ourselves up about this year's M's season. This year... may be our toughest year ever. Nevertheless... we must live on... we have to survive. Here's how the Mariners can win the World Series:

Mr. F: Hey FORTUNE?!? Long time no speak! It's that time of year. I think the M's can win the World Series and I'm willing to bet that you feel the same! Want to get into this shizz? For starters... actually not starters yet... I mean divisions. Let's forget about the Wild Card. We need to win the West. Agreed?

Fortune: Do I want to get into this shizz, Mr F.? Come on now, does a cow drink milk?!!

Mr. F: Um, yes?

Fortune: Of course it does!! I agree we should not discuss the wild card because there is no shot at that with all the teams in the AL that are better than us. Luckily for us, 3 of the ones that aren’t happen to reside in the AL West.

Mr. F: Honestly, they probably ARE better, but it's still the weakest division. No strong rotations (Oakland if it progresses and stays healthy) and only one strong lineup in Texas. But we're not making cases for those collections of dingelberries. We're making a case for the Ms. Let's start with the two givens... Felix and Ichiro must maintain their excellence. Nothing shocking there. I'd also argue that our bullpen with a fresh combo of young hard throwers should be more than adequate. The real issues are in the lineup and starting pitching... but how much does that ever affect the outcome of a ball game? Now, where to first? Starting pitching or our fear inducing line up?

Fortune: I feel like I’m inside Shakers at 2:00am looking at some less than ideal options (or so the feeling has been explained to me). As for pitching, I think the M’s nailed it in their new commercial where Felix dresses up in differently and changes the 1st letter in his name on his jersey

Mr. F: I only hooked up with 10's, or I didn't hook up at all. ... Let's start with the pitchers. We've covered the excellence that is the King, now there's 4 other spots.... I think 4 and 5 are fine with Fister and Vargas in either order, with a little more consistency. Here's the tough stuff... We need Pineda to make an immediate impact and be a STRONG #3 starter. I think he can easily get there, this year may be tough though. That leaves a big #2 hole... hee hee... and who better to fill that gaping 2 hole than Erik Bedard. Hey, he's been pitchign great this Spring. IF he stays healthy... and IF Pineda contributes right away and IF Vargas and Fister can replicate the high stretches from last year... than that's a pennant winning rotation!

Fortune: I think Fister is probably the best bet to fill up that 2 hole. If he pitches like we think he can, we would certainly make a good number 5 starter. Totally agree with you on the rotation. It’s the bullpen that worries me the most. It looks like we are going to rely on Cortes (has since been sent down) and Leuke who are both gonna be rookies. I heard Ray talking on the radio and it sounded like he still wants to start. That coupled with Ardsma’s hip issue, who knows how hes gonna pitch this year. Oh wait, we are supposed to pump ourselves up…

Mr. F: Yeah, stay the course... the bullpen will be fine. Aardsma sucks anyway. Let League close games. The young guys will shine. If they stay out of prison. It's solid. The lineup? Well... we can fix that too.

Fortune: Let’s go round the horn (backwards) as they say. Ichiro is going to have a season of earthquake proportion. Put Guti down for .280 and 20 HRs. Saunders has a break out year. Jack Wilson plays decent D. Figgins is obviously going to bounce back to the all-star caliber 3B he thought he was coming in to play before Wakamatsu’s failed 2B experiment. Ackley hit like a 500 ft homerun the other day, hes the best hitter in the minors right now, he will start opening day. Smoak will break out as well, probably 40 HRs, 115 RBIs. That just leaves Olivo who can speak Spanish when Felix is on the mound.

Mr. F: Too soon, Fortune... too soon... anyway... I like the way you think as far as the lineup goes, and Olivo and Wilson will be 8 and 9 so no worries if they aren't the dynamos with the stick that the rest of our lineup is. Plus, our rotation will be rock solid so if we need to trade, it'll only be for a SS or Catcher and maybe some bullpen help. Buuuuut you forgot about DH! But no worries, cuz that'll be awesome too!! Either we have a solid year from Jacky Cust, or Milton makes the team and reverts back to that Texas Ranger form that once made some fool trade Andre Ethier and Carloz Gonzalez for him in a fantasy league. I really hope Milton makes the team. At the very least it'll give us a chance to run this again!

Fortune: I should have gone with “unleash a tsunami of singles”. Did you hear one hit the Oregon coast last week? I think the thing I am most looking forward to this season is our new manager. Wak was obviously in over his head and I have been getting some pretty good vibes from our new Skip. Plus he has a kick ass mustache! If everything plays out as I would expect it to, put me down for 93 wins which I say wins the west.

Mr. F: Nice try Fortune, bu I have it equaling 95 wins. Guess I just love the Mariners a little bit more. But I do agree on Wedge's mustache. I've come around on him pretty quickly, and I think most of it has to do with the mustache. Well that was pretty easy actually. Any preference on who play win the first round of the playoffs?

Fortune: The Twins, for obvious reasons

Mr. F: Ha! Yes! Right... but... explain the obvious reasons so the Mustacheers can get in on this.

Fortune: because my brother looks like me. I can try and find a picture. And I would prefer to beat the AL East time in the ALCS

Finn: Of course.

Ok there you have it. M's win the West before decimiating the rest of baseball on route to the 2011 World Series. It's gonna be a magical year! And with that we'll start every season just like the Mariners start every game with two little words: Baseball time!

Go Mariners!

Curt Schilling on The One True King

Maybe Curt isn't the giant doo doo head I thought he was:

http://espn.go.com/video/clip?id=6195082&categoryid=2521705

The One True King

Buster Olney has a new video blog up on some other sports news site.

Watch the video.

http://espn.go.com/video/clip?id=6107908

Well... that cheered me up!

Its a beautiful (3) day(s)!

Mark your calendars

Miguel Olivo is a Mariner!

Obviously Z would only pull the trigger on this move if he had some bigger plan in place.  There is no way he would just go out an acquire Olivo to be our starting catcher.  I'm really excited to see which GM he is about to fleece with a big trade.  My hunch is that it will be Kansas City GM Dayton Moore.  Olivo is the personal catcher for Zach Greinke, so obviously Z's interest is in getting Greinke.  We'll probably be able to flip Rob Johnson and Josh Wilson in addition to some made up prospects for him.  Congrats in advance Z.  You truly are the best!

RIP Dave Niehaus

Best baseball announcer of all time.

Eric Wedge: Seattle Mariners Savior

Mustacheers... I give you the new manager of your Seattle Mariners... a real man's man...

Mr. Eric Wedge

We at henrycottosmustache.com support this decision for obvious reasons.

Thank you in advance Mr. Wedge for the multiple World Series titles you bring to this fine city of Seattle. You're the best!

I wish we could say this about the Mariners

It looks like Togo fielded a fake national soccer team against the powerhouse of Behrain.(Begin typing here for after the break) I personally think this is what Jack Z should claim happened with the Mariners this year.  He assembled a winning team, but Josh Wilson and Brian Sweeney commandeered the team with a bunch of fake players.

Local man shows the Mariners how he feels about the season

Local man, we'll call him "Dan", shows the Mariners how he feels about this year's season:

They'll turn it around Dan. Don't worry. Go Mariners.

Hat Tip to NIKE

They nailed this commercial, and we realize what a bunch of douchebags the Cincinatti Reds broadcasters are.

Oops.

Good thing we let this guy hang out in Cleveland for the first part of the season. Can I intereset anyone in some Casey Kotchman rookie cards?

Kotchman

Without much fanfare Kotchman broke a record last night. No it wasnt most consecutive plate appearances without a hit. He had his 2,003 straight errorless play. That is pretty incredible. But he still sucks, which is probably why a big deal wasnt made of it.

The events of the day

I was sitting down and watching the Blind Side, and I couldn't help but notice the similarities in the movie, and part of my own life. You see a few years back, my family was driving home from a super rich function (my Dad's a doctor) when we noticed a homeless kid walking home. Dad wanted to go to Taco Bell, but Mom made him pullover and take the kid home with us. He was real shy, but was a real solid individual. Mom taught him how to play baseball with her sass and wit (and little Erik taught him how to make friends). Anyway, long story short... that kid went on to great success in the game we know as baseball. That kid... was THE Kid... Ken Griffey Jr.

Mom never really got the credit she deserved for Griffey's success, but no worries, Sandra Bullock couldn't have handled that role. Lots of nuances and no crummy accent.

Griffey retired today. A year too late. But that doesn't change the fact that he is the greatest baseball player to ever play the game or at least since uhhh... 1970 or something. Anyway, you'll never see a better ball player, and he did it clean baby! Should be the first 100% first ballot Hall of Famer (but some dickhead writer won't do it). Anyway congrats Griff!

Thanks Griffey. Greatest of all time.

The Mariners Strike Back

Um ...

Anybody catch what just happened? Maybe we should start a new meter next to Milton that measures how furious we are. Although, at this point it's almost boiled over into apathy.

Maybe we should also start a side-by-side daily comparison of this team's record to the '08 team, because they basically feel like the same exact team.

Baseball Predictions

With the baseball season a good three and a half weeks old I decided it was time to post the predictions for the season that Finn and I submitted before the season in the hope that our fellow party hosts would do the same. With those hopes still unfulfilled, and no real sign of a change in that status on the horizon, here are the official HCM predictions for the MLB in 2010:

Mr. F

AL WEST

Mariners

Angels

Rangers

A's

AL CENTRAL

Twins

Tigers

White Sox

Indians

Royals

AL EAST

Yankees

Red Sox (WC)

Rays

Orioles

Blue Jays

AL MVP

Milton Bradley
AL CY YOUNG
King Felix

NL WEST

D-backs

Dodgers

Rockies

Giants

Padres

NL CENTRAL

St. Louis

Cubs

Brewers

Reds

Pirates

Astros

NL EAST

Phillies

Braves (WC)

Marlins

Mets

Nationals

NL CY YOUNG
Roy Halladay

NL MVP

Albert Pujols

NL PLAYOFFS

St. Louis over Atlanta

Philly over Arizona

Philly over St. Louis

AL PLAYOFFS
Seattle over Boston
New York over Minnesota

Seattle over New York

WORLD SERIES
Seattle over Philadelphia

MVP Cliff Lee (oh sweet irony)

Erik

NL East:
Philadelphia
Florida - WC
Atlanta
NY Mets
Washington

NL Central:
St. Louis
Milwaukee
Cincinnati
Chicago Cubs
Houston
Pittsburgh

NL West:
Colorado
Los Angeles
San Francisco
Arizona
San Diego

AL East:
NY Yankees
Tampa Bay - WC
Boston
Baltimore
Toronto

AL Central:
Minnesota
Detroit
Chicago White Sox
Cleveland
Kansas City

AL West:
Seattle
Texas
Anaheim
Oakland

NL PLAYOFFS:
St. Louis over Florida
Philadelphia over Colorado

Philadelphia over St. Louis

AL PLAYOFFS:
Seattle over Tampa Bay
NY Yankees over Minnesota

Seattle over NY Yankees

WORLD SERIES:
Seattle over Philadelphia

NL MVP: Albert Pujols (why pick anyone else at this point?)
NL Cy Young: Ubaldo Jimenez

AL MVP: Ichiro
AL Cy Young: Felix Hernandez

And no, I still haven't figured out how to use the "Read More" function.
.

Introducing...

THE MILTON METER!!!!

You'll notice a new addition to the website too your right... where we'll be tracking the progress of Milton Bradley (my new favorite Mariner) all year long.

I thinkk he's started out ok.. but there's room for improvement (spoiler alert: that's the pic I used in the below post). Aaaaand... not like it will happen, but there's also room for a decline. We're prepared for that too.

Anyway, have fun watching Milton's progress all year!

Milton Bradley

I'm rooting for Milton Bradley. But apparently I'm in the minority... even in his own home town... or Seattle.



He blew it on a play yesterday... cost the M's a run. Crowd let him hear it. AND THEN... They let him hear it again when he came to the plate next inning.

Would it kill Seattle Fan's to give this guy a break. I get that he's not hitting real well, and he's got a bad rep... but this could be a perfect situation for him and let's just cut him some FRICKING SLACK.

I won't pretend to know all the fancy shmancy new baseball stats (ask Wanamaker... he'll pretend to know about those) but I gotta figure a decent to strong year form Milty would be pretty key to us making the playoffs. (Obviously the offense is AWESOME and who needs him... but he could be the extra boost).

And if that's not enough... Milton Bradley is a bad ass. Reminds me a lot of myself at a younger age. When was the last time we had a bad ass on our team? Buhner? Arthur Lee? There were a few here and there... but not much.

Anyway... I'm done rambling.... Go Milton! Go Mariners!

Obvious Observations

Here are a few things I noticed in the M's first series. While this may not qualify as groundbreaking analysis, I feel like these topics should be discussed or at least pointed out on our cutting edge blog:

-We're 1-3.

-The bullpen looks shaaaaaky. They blew a lead in each of the first 3 games, and they actually blew it twice in that third game. It almost makes me miss Brandon Morrow. At least he could blow a game in style.

-I like to think that Jacky Z designated Langerhans for assignment based solely on his performance this season. "Look at your average Langerhans. Sorry kid, you're not cut out for the bigs." Is there any doubt that this guy will end up in Kansas City by week's end?

-It's too bad Cliff Lee is hurt, otherwise the M's would be at least 2-2. I'm not necessarily saying that he'd automatically get a W, but if he were in the rotation, Snell's nice 1 run outing would have been pushed back to Game 3, and the 5 runs scored by the offense would have been enough to get the win. Of course, there are other variables and what not, but hey we can't deal with all that, we're not scientists ... ok, most of us aren't scientists.

-On a good note, Figgins' first AB and subsequent base-path chicanery was pretty awesome. He walked, stole 2nd, got to 3rd when the throw went into center, then scored on Kotchman's hit. It was like: Ok, great, that's exactly what we got you for. Thanks!

-And finally, Eric Chavez looks like the front-runner for cover boy of this month's Sickly Man Magazine. Yikes, what happened to this guy? Every time he came up I was just worried for him.

That's what I've got for now. Anything good that I missed?