The Worst City in Sports

(Party Host note: my blogging skills are epic... hence the fucked up post. Click read more to see the whole thing in it's correct order. Sorry. )

I haven't looked at the last one I did of these, so maybe this will be a total retread, but I thought I'd examine it once again. Who's got it the worst? Cities (or small areas around that city). I've got the Top 5, (with one that sort of surprised me), a couple of cities that have it rough overall but got a few championships sprinkled in, and then the 1 town teams that can't win shit.

Why'd I do this? I guess I just feel like a loser. Don't expect a lot of humor below, but I think it's always discussion worthy. If we can't be the best, I want to be known as the absolute worst. We're almost there Seattle!

Here we go...

One team towns that can't catch a break:

16. Ottowa - This is a town in Canada. They have a hockey team that, according to my research, sucks.

15. Vancouver - They'd be higher on the list if it were kick ass towns that kick a lot of ass, but that's a different list. Along with Ottowa, they lose point for being a NHL only town.

14. Charlotte - One NBA team (NBA teams in general took a hit on the list, because the NBA blows), not a long history. Not much suffering.

13. Orlando - A good team from what I hear, but still haven't won.

12. Sacramento - good fans.

11. Salt Lake City - Strong runs of competitiveness, but nothing to show for it.

10. Portland - A great town, with great titty bars. They can't feel too bad about themselves.

9. Jacksonville - They only made it this high because they're in one of the two sports leagues that still matter. Otherwise Jacksonville could eat it like the rest of these fools.

8. Tampa Bay - They don't have any fans, but the few that exist will end up being very bummed out when they look at this squad a few years down the road (Think '95 M's)

Big Ol' Losers:

7. San Francisco - You can only ride those 49er championships for so long (and CHRIST, look at em now). The Giants haven't won a thin in forever, and I think they count the Sharks and Warriors as their own as well. A real shit sandwich.

6. Minnesota - The Twins won a couple, but that 20 years ago. The Timberwolves are a joke, and the Vikings are one of longest suffering NFL teams.

The Top 5:

5. Tennessee - Here's the curveball. Sure, they don't have a gigantic fansbase in any of these sports, and lumping all of Tennessee together is kinda weak, but so are their teams. Titans came inches from winning a Superbowl . The Grizzilies blow and always will, (seriously, come back and read this post in 10 years and if they won a title by then I'll give you $10.00 each). They've also got a team in Nashville that sucks at hockey. Not a great sports town.

4. San Diego - The Chargers and the Padres. A couple of championship games but nothing else. Also, pretty sure they lost their NBA team too.

3. Buffalo - C'mon.

2. Seattle - If you need an explanation for this one, you're probably on the wrong site.

1. Cleveland - No championships in anything for over I dunno, 50 years I'll say. And then Lebron pulled one of the all time dickhead sports moves on the entire town.

Congrats Cleveland! But things are looking up with Holmgren on the Browns, and Carlos Santana on the Indians... you guys better step your suckiness, cuz Seattle we'll be closing on ya fast!


Erik said...

Cleveland's last win was the NFL title in 1955. Although, was it ever revealed what happened after the end of Major League 2? Maybe they mentioned it in Major League 3 but who would ever know.

Also, to be fair, the Titans came within inches of tying the Super Bowl, they were down 23-16. Not necessarily trying to call you out, but I've heard people say that they were a yard away from winning the Super Bowl before and it always bugs me.

Also, you could probably throw the Panthers in as Charlotte as well.

Mr. F said...

So I was right about the 50 years? Is that your point? Kidding.

Good stuff.

I agree with your Carolina comment, which warps them to #6!

PS. Fisher... with a mustache like that? he goes for 2.

Mr. F said...

Wow, another huge blunder pointed out by Peter. Tampa Bay have the Lightning AND The Bucaneers have both won, so they're off the list completely. Updated Loser list coming now!

Pete said...

I think Vancouver might need to be bumped from the list. The only reason is that they hosted the Olympics and the Canadian hockey team won the gold medal. I bet most people in Vancouver would have rather had that happen in their city than have the Canucks win the Cup.

I also disagree with Charlotte moving up because of the Panthers. They've made 2 NFC title games and 1 Super Bowl in their first 15 years. They just been unfortunate to run into vastly superior teams each time. Also, you'd have to throw the Hurricanes in there too and they won the Cup a few years ago.

You could maybe add Edmonton since they had Gretzky and then traded him away. They won a shit load of champsionships, but nothing for the last 20.

wanamaker said...

So I was right about the 50 years? Is that your point? Kidding.

Good stuff.

I agree with your Carolina comment, which warps them to #6!

PS. Fisher... with a mustache like that? he goes for 2.