11.25.2015

NFL Picks - Thanksgiving


Appetizer

Philadelphia @ Detroit

In recent weeks the Detroit Lions have promoted Jim Bob Cooter to offensive coordinator and named Rod Wood team president. It's now become clear that Lions owner Martha Ford is taking personnel advice from her great grandson, and that his criteria is based solely on who has the funniest name. Obviously this kid hasn't heard of Dick Butkus yet, otherwise he'd be on the staff. Whatever the motivation behind these moves truly is, they seem to be working. Look for the Lions to get a third straight win over an increasingly lousy Eagles team. 

Lions 22-17


Main Course

Carolina @ Dallas

Tony Romo returned last Sunday and instantly halted the Cowboys 7 game losing streak. Dallas is now 3-0 this season with Romo as their starter, meaning he has the same winning percentage as Cam Newton and the Panthers. So what we actually have here, if you squint really hard, is a clash of undefeated teams. And how ironic that they should meet on Thanksgiving: two unbeatens, nothing left uneaten (Please keep reading, I'm sorry, the next one is good I swear). Anyway, I think the Return of Romo Redemption Tour continues for the Cowboys as they hand Carolina their first loss of the year. 

Cowboys 24-20


Dessert/Nap

Chicago @ Green Bay

Here's my proposal for this Thanksgiving night match-up: pre-game eating contest, winner gets spotted 10 points. Hold it in the two hours prior to kickoff and keep both teams secluded in their locker rooms so that they don't have any knowledge of where they stand in respect to the other team. Will one team decide it's not worth it and simply cede the 10 points in hopes that they'll be much more spry during the actual game? Will both squads go all out, resulting in a torrent of on-field vomiting? The possibilities are too intriguing to pass up. It's not too late Goodell, you can make this happen. That is unless you're chicken ... And there's nothing lamer than chicken on Thanksgiving.

Packers 27-17

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