12.03.2010

NFL Picks Week 13

Morning Games


New Orleans @ Cincinnati

The only way this one will be entertaining is if Terrell Owens tries to switch teams during the game, and I can actually see him trying it. Like he just shows up in the Saints huddle laughing, "Hahaha, but seriously Drew what's the play man?" And all the Saints just stare at him until he puts his head down and walks out of the stadium never to be heard from again. So anyway, that will probably happen, and the Saints will get the win.

Saints 28-13


Chicago @ Detroit

We all know what happened with Calvin Johnson's catch that wasn't last time these teams met, I don't think he's going to have that problem again. In fact, my Wacky Pick of the Week says that once Johnson catches his first pass he'll refuse to let the ball go for the rest of the game, which will result in some sort of All-time QB situation. I suppose it would become quite obvious after a while that he wasn't going to pass, and I'm not really sure how the snaps would work, but hey that's why it's wacky, I'll leave it to them to figure out the logistics.

Bears 24-20


San Francisco @ Green Bay

All season the Niners have moved the ball up and down the field slower than an old man, so it's fitting that their best player would break his hip. But hey, San Fran has won 3 out of 4 ... over the Broncos, Rams and Cardinals. Something tells me it won't be as easy against the Packers.

Packers 27-9


Jacksonville @ Tennessee

You're pathetic Jaguars. You had the lead last week and you couldn't close the deal. I can't wait until they move your sad sack franchise to L.A. so I can personally spit in your face.

Jaguars 20-10


Denver @ Kansas City

It's the Finger Bowl! Of course, I'm referring to the incident in which Todd Haley waved his finger at Josh McDaniels after the Chiefs' Week 10 loss to the Broncos. I'm not referring to the football themed porn of the same name starring Sack Phillips. The Chiefs have one of the better offenses in league history right? Seemed like it last week. I have to factor that in to my pick.

Chiefs 31-24


Cleveland @ Miami

Congrats Dolphins, your win last week means that I can still pick you, not this week of course, I mean you're playing at home.

Browns 23-21


Buffalo @ Minnesota

It's this type of game and this type of situation that Brett Favre had in mind when he decided to come back this year. Oh, sorry, I meant it was this type of situation that I dreamed of when Favre decided to come back.

Vikings 24-17


Washington @ New York Giants

What's the verdict on the yellow pants the Redskins have been wearing this season? I thought they were ok at first, if not a little charming, but I didn't realize they were actually going to be around all season and now I think they're pretty disgusting. They're like the Andy Foy of pants. Anyway, Giants win!

Giants 26-14


Afternoon Games


Oakland @ San Diego

This game features one team on the rise and another on the decline, this is like the Hollywood Homicide of football games. Never mind, as it turns out Harrison Ford and Josh Hartnett were both on their declines at that point. (Gotcha Hartnett!) Is there any doubt now that the Chargers will win out and suffer a disappointing home loss in the postseason? I think not.

Chargers 34-20


Carolina @ Seattle

I don't have much to say about this game, so let's take a look back at what happened the last time the Panthers came to Qwest Field.

Seahawks 26-13


Atlanta @ Tampa Bay

Now would be a good time for the Buccaneers to prove themselves and I think they will. They'll prove that they aren't quite good enough when they lose and seriously hamper their playoff aspirations.

Falcons 24-21


St. Louis @ Arizona

The Cardinals probably should have tried to get their Monday night game rescheduled so that the entire nation didn't have to see them, like an ugly girl who doesn't even bother going to the dance. I'm guessing that Derek Anderson was actually laughing out of disbelief that a team is still allowing him to be their starter.

Rams 23-13


Dallas @ Indianapolis

Peyton Manning's 4 interception performance last week really let me down. Though, it didn't stop me from beating Bobby Bateman in Fantasy, in fact, I did the math and Manning could have thrown 20 more picks and I still would have won. But that's not the point, come to think of it I've forgotten what my original point was. Maybe it was that when Manning looks bad he looks BAD. Man, this guy doesn't do anything half way huh?

Colts 31-28


Sunday Night


Pittsburgh @ Baltimore

Possible playoff preview here.

Steelers 20-17


Monday Night


New York Jets @ New England

This is being billed as the game of the year in the NFL, which is only the sixth time that's been said this season. I'm not so sure though, my money's on the Super Bowl being the game of the year when all's said and done.

Patriots 24-20

3 comments:

Mr. F said...

You'd never have the guts to talk shit about Andy Foy like that if he were still alive.

Bobby said...

MACGRUBERS PICKS

NO 20 at Cincy 28 - New Orleans is overrated, and Cincy sucks. But this is the NFL, which means unless your reasoning includes at least 5 good points you really have no fricken clue whats gonna happen.

Chicago 27 at Detroit 34 - The Bears are a prototypical "lead on" team. They will lead you to believe they are legit, then they will set a world record in sacks against. Then they will bounce back and create a buzz, before losing to the Lions.

Denver 10 at Kansas City 33 - I have no anaylsis for this one.
Cleveland 14 at Miami 27 - The city Miami has been known to rape the City of Cleveland.

Giants ? at Washington? - This game has not happened yet so it would be real silly of me to try and guess a score.

SF 28 at Green Bay 27 - Despite all the haters, the 9ers have played a lot of very good teams tough on the road in the last couple of years. Silly mistakes and miracle plays have cost them a few of those games. This is why 9ers fans are convinced that the team is so close to being a winner, which I am. But the 9ers are one of those teams that plays up or down to their competition.

Buffalo 20 at Minnesota 21 - What people don't realize is that right before Steve Johnson dropped that pass (and cost me 11 fantasy points and likely a playoff spot when tiebreakers are taken into account), was he said "fuck you Fitzpatrick I want Luck". Then he tried to tweet it off like he wasn't playing for the draft. Minnesota, with no chance of getting lucky (bow), wins a thriller, as Bret doesn't pull a photo-finish like Johnson (there was probably a better joke to be made here).

St. Louis 35 at Arizona 38 - I actually gained respect for Derek Andersen and felt bad for him after last week. He was playing one of the best defenses in the NFL and had zero help from his O-line. His frusteration seemed real. I know the easy pick is Rams by 40, but it seems like every time this year a team is down and out they come back with a real strong effort, and the Rams know how to lose close games on the road.

Car 17 at Seattle 20 - When I got this far in the schedule without seeing this game I just figured it had been canceled. That seemed more likely than it being a Sunday Afternooner. Anyway, somebody's going to win this ... probably.

Oakland 6 at San Diego 26 - San Diego cannot lose THREE games to the Bay Area this year, so they win this one.

Dallas 16 at Indy 21 - Possible Superbowl preview... in a paralell universe.

Pittsburgh 21 at Baltimore 18 - Good teams find weird ways to win games, and wannabee teams find weird ways to lose games. Exampels of the former; Pittsburgh, Saints, Pats, Jets, Falcons... examples of the latter; Cowboys, Bills, Lions, Rams, and (sigh) the pre-december-2010 9ers. Terrible teams just get blown out all the time like Arizona or Carolina.

Jets 2 at Pats 0- Two teams that are playing for the draft. Winner will get a 26 pick at highest, where the loser could jump to as high as 18 or 19. Belecheck is the sneakier of the two coaches so look for him to find a way to blow this game.

wanamaker said...

MACGRUBERS PICKS

NO 20 at Cincy 28 - New Orleans is overrated, and Cincy sucks. But this is the NFL, which means unless your reasoning includes at least 5 good points you really have no fricken clue whats gonna happen.

Chicago 27 at Detroit 34 - The Bears are a prototypical "lead on" team. They will lead you to believe they are legit, then they will set a world record in sacks against. Then they will bounce back and create a buzz, before losing to the Lions.

Denver 10 at Kansas City 33 - I have no anaylsis for this one.
Cleveland 14 at Miami 27 - The city Miami has been known to rape the City of Cleveland.

Giants ? at Washington? - This game has not happened yet so it would be real silly of me to try and guess a score.

SF 28 at Green Bay 27 - Despite all the haters, the 9ers have played a lot of very good teams tough on the road in the last couple of years. Silly mistakes and miracle plays have cost them a few of those games. This is why 9ers fans are convinced that the team is so close to being a winner, which I am. But the 9ers are one of those teams that plays up or down to their competition.

Buffalo 20 at Minnesota 21 - What people don't realize is that right before Steve Johnson dropped that pass (and cost me 11 fantasy points and likely a playoff spot when tiebreakers are taken into account), was he said "fuck you Fitzpatrick I want Luck". Then he tried to tweet it off like he wasn't playing for the draft. Minnesota, with no chance of getting lucky (bow), wins a thriller, as Bret doesn't pull a photo-finish like Johnson (there was probably a better joke to be made here).

St. Louis 35 at Arizona 38 - I actually gained respect for Derek Andersen and felt bad for him after last week. He was playing one of the best defenses in the NFL and had zero help from his O-line. His frusteration seemed real. I know the easy pick is Rams by 40, but it seems like every time this year a team is down and out they come back with a real strong effort, and the Rams know how to lose close games on the road.

Car 17 at Seattle 20 - When I got this far in the schedule without seeing this game I just figured it had been canceled. That seemed more likely than it being a Sunday Afternooner. Anyway, somebody's going to win this ... probably.

Oakland 6 at San Diego 26 - San Diego cannot lose THREE games to the Bay Area this year, so they win this one.

Dallas 16 at Indy 21 - Possible Superbowl preview... in a paralell universe.

Pittsburgh 21 at Baltimore 18 - Good teams find weird ways to win games, and wannabee teams find weird ways to lose games. Exampels of the former; Pittsburgh, Saints, Pats, Jets, Falcons... examples of the latter; Cowboys, Bills, Lions, Rams, and (sigh) the pre-december-2010 9ers. Terrible teams just get blown out all the time like Arizona or Carolina.

Jets 2 at Pats 0- Two teams that are playing for the draft. Winner will get a 26 pick at highest, where the loser could jump to as high as 18 or 19. Belecheck is the sneakier of the two coaches so look for him to find a way to blow this game.