NFL Picks - Week 10

Sunday Morning

Seattle @ Atlanta

The Seahawks have now dominated the Falcons for 30 consecutive minutes of game time, why should that change come Sunday? In all honesty, the Hawks have been sub-par the last couple of weeks, but hopefully the prospect of vengeance against a banged up Atlanta squad will be enough to bring out their best, or at least something resembling it. The Beast is hungry. Feed him the ball. Seriously. Do it.

Seahawks 28-18

Detroit @ Chicago

Jay Cutler is telling anyone who will listen that he wants to play this Sunday despite his injury. Obviously that's just lip-service though, because as we all know he thinks football is for nerds. If he does play it will help, but the Bears' defense will have a much tougher time containing Stafford to Johnson than they did containing Wallace to Nelson. And that's what I call groundbreaking, insightful analysis!

Lions 31-27

Philadelphia @ Green Bay

Aaron Rodgers suffered a broken collar bone early Monday night, and will now not have the structural support to don a collared shirt for over a month, which, as you can see is a real shame. It turns out he also won't be able to play football for some time, a development that will surely alter the fate of the Green Bay Packers, and perhaps the entire known universe. You think I'm exaggerating? Have you ever seen a little movie called The Butterfly Effect? I haven't, but I have a pretty good idea what it's about, and if I'm right it means that this broken collar bone will result in Ashton Kutcher growing a beard and Amy Smart gettin' real slutty. The logic-defying Eagles come to Green Bay this Sunday with a 4-1 record away from home and a quarterback that just threw 7 touchdowns in one game. Look for them to get another road win, unless that makes too much sense ...

Eagles 30-23

Jacksonville @ Tennessee

The Jaguars were on their bye last week, leaving the whole league angry that there wasn't a free win out there somewhere. The NFL has heard the cries of outrage and has decided that Jacksonville must play every week from now until the end of the season. While that's bad news for the Jags it's a real coup for the teams remaining on their schedule. First to reap the benefits are the Titans, who have a legitimate shot at the AFC's second wild card. After this Sunday, that shot promises to be even legitmater.

Titans 31-14

St. Louis @ Indianapolis

While the Rams have lost their last two games, one very positive revelation has revealed itself, Zac Stacy is a heckuva running back. Wait a minute, Zac Stacy, there's something very familiar about that name, or at least the combination of those two names ... that's it! Wow, if this guy weren't on the Rams I might like him. But he is, so I don't. Anyway, the Colts have been on a rampage through the NFC West this season, and I don't expect the Rams to stop it.

Colts 26-16

Oakland @ New York Giants

Well Raiders, you just gave up 7 TD passes to Nick Foles, what are you going to do now? And no, you can't just quit. Actually, I suppose you could, but what kind of message would that send to all the young fans in the Black Hole? With role models like that they might grow up to be real scumbags. The Giants are riding back to back wins, giving up only 7 points in each game. If they can replicate that number in this game I would give them a great chance to win, and I will stand by that statement, I don't care what fat cats in Washington disagree with it. It's like, this is a democracy, I'll say what I want when I want. And what I want to say is that if Oakland only scores 7 points, they won't win. Deal with it Obamacare.

Giants 23-17

Buffalo @ Pittsburgh

The Steelers were actually only down by 3 points heading into the 4th quarter last week at New England before their defense completely took a dump. Lesson learned: no more dumps. If the D hasn't made shirts with that saying yet, then it's already too late. EJ Manuel is returning this week for the Bills, and he couldn't come back soon enough. In fact, this isn't soon enough. Buffalo is 3-6 and more or less out of the playoff picture. I think these teams are just about even, but with Manuel likely having some rust and this game being played in Pittsburgh (at the Steelers' own stadium no less!), I'll have to go against the Bills.

Steelers 24-20

Cincinnati @ Baltimore

The Ravens seem to be suffering from a Super Bowl hangover, and boy do I know how they feel. Although, I recovered from my Super Bowl hangover by the following Tuesday (or maybe, Wednesday), so what's taking these wimps so long? Just grab yourself a Slurpee and a large 'za and get back out there already. Meanwhile, the Bengals bucked their two game road winning streak on Thursday in Miami to re-affirm that they are, in fact, a lousy team away from home. Will that trend continue? You bet, or my name's not Carl Shipley (haha, now I'm not held accountable for this pick; what a bunch of suckers).

Ravens 20-17

Sunday Afternoon

Carolina @ San Francisco

Over the last month both of these teams have been steamrolling everybody in their path. This Sunday we finally get an answer to the age old question: what happens when two steamrollers collide? My guess is that the spinning mechanisms will hit each other, causing the rest of the vehicles to stand up on end, at which point it's anybody's guess. I imagine that this game will be quite similar, with each team wanting to run often against a stout defensive front. The home team gets the nod in this one because, well, they're the home team. Side prediction: at one point Steve Smith and Donte Whitner start talking so much trash to each other after a play that they forget about the game and walk off the field and through the tunnel, jawing at each other the whole way. They will never return to an NFL field, and speculation as to their whereabouts will run rampant. Years later they will re-surface and reveal that they're happily married to each other. Pretty nice story if you ask me.

49ers 23-16

Houston @ Arizona

The Cardinals are playing their third straight game at home where they've been downright competent. This week they welcome the Texans, who can't seem to buy a win. Seriously, they can't do it, it's against the rules; though somebody should tell that to Jerry Jones, am I right? (Please let me know if I am right in the comments section) Houston's new QB1 Case Keenum certainly has some fire and could come away with his first win Sunday. However, Arizona still has something to play for (I guess), and they'll give the Cards' fans their money's worth. By the way, you can get a ticket to this game for $8 online.

Cardinals 19-17

Denver @ San Diego

Is it possible that the Broncos will get caught looking past the Chargers to their Sunday night tilt against the Chiefs and lose this game? Yes, and not having their head coach won't help. However, it should be noted that Peyton Manning doesn't really need a head coach, in fact, he probably prefers it this way. Also, San Diego's pass D has been among the worst in the league this season, which should allow Manning to fling it like nobody's biz. On the other hand, Denver's pass D has been even worse, and Philip Rivers has been flingin' it something fierce this season. You know what that means, we got ourselves a good ol' fashioned flingfest. I never bet against Peyton in a flingfest. Never have, never will.

Broncos 45-38

Sunday Night

Dallas @ New Orleans

Can someone say flingfest? I can, and I hope you can too, otherwise that last pick was probably a nightmare for you. Anyway, it looks like we have another double F on our hands in this Sunday night match-up. Neither team played very well last week, meaning they'll come out firing. Or they'll shrink in upon themselves due to a crippling lack of confidence. Either it way it should be a blast to watch.

Saints 38-27

Monday Night

Miami @ Tampa Bay

It's too bad that Richie Incognito won't be with the Dolphins when they travel to Tampa. I'm guessing that he would have loved to meet the whitest man on earth. The Bucs most likely expended all of their remaining energy and interest in a spirited, but ultimately futile effort in Seattle last week.

Dolphins 24-21