NFL Picks - Week 11

Sunday Morning

New York Jets @ Buffalo

The Jets have been up and down all year. You might go so far as to say that their season has been one big amusement park ride of some sort. Meanwhile, the Bills haven't been having nearly as much fun, and it has nothing to do with the fact that they have to play in Buffalo. Well ok, that probably has something to do with it, but I was mostly referring to their myriad injuries. But with rookie quarterback EJ Manuel playing in his second game back from injury and the Jets on track for a letdown after a big win in their last game I'll roll with the Bills. Wait a minute, roll ... roller coaster! There it is!

Bills 20-16

Baltimore @ Chicago

Starting with Week 4, neither of these teams has played in a game decided by more than one score. So obviously this one figures to be close, with the margin being eight points at the most. Luke McCown has played well for the Bears in relief, in fact, his playing time last week was probably too brief. The Ravens' latest win was a bit scary after nearly blowing it following a last-second Hail Mary. The allure of this rhyme gimmick is fading, and I've got to be doing some grading. Did I tell you guys that I've been teaching? Yeah it's hard work and the pay leaves plenty to be desired, but when I see those smiling faces looking back at me it makes it all worth it. Sure, some people say that teaching a full class on swear words to children is unnecessary and downright irresponsible, but I can't help but disagree.

Bears 23-20 

Cleveland @ Cincinnati

The Bengals have posted a 2-4 record on the road while going 4-0 in Cincinnati. They must be happier to come home than a kid returning from camp, a kid who pooed his pants on one of the hikes and then tried to play it off as if nothing had happened until the girl he liked came up and asked him what that smell was and before he could answer he pooed his pants again ... Look let's just stop talking about camp already, ok!? The bottom line is that the Bengals play much better at home.

Bengals 24-14

Washington @ Philadelphia

Despite the fact that Nick Foles has thrown 16 TDs and 0 INTs this season Chip Kelly has refused to name him the starting quarterback of the Philadelphia Eagles. I'm not sure why I felt the need to specify there, it would be highly bizarre if he were to name Foles the starter of some other team. I don't know what more Foles could do to earn the job, but I suppose winning the Eagles first home game in eleven tries would be a start.

Eagles 38-28

Detroit @ Pittsburgh

While the Steelers defense has been maligned at times this season, they've actually given up only 201 yards passing yards per game, good enough for 4th best in the NFL. A stingy pass D is key if Pittsburgh plans on knocking off the Lions. And if they don't plan on knocking off the Lions, then that would make it a lot easier for everyone, no game necessary! Everybody can go home and do something else; maybe watch TV. Adam Sandler's The Longest Yard will be on TNT at that time. However, I do expect the Steelers to put up a fight, and I see them getting the win.

Steelers 27-24

Atlanta @ Tampa Bay

These are the last two teams to have played the Seahawks, so I've gotten a close look at each of them recently. Only one of them looked like they had some fight left in them. And their quarterback knows what it's like to win in this league now. Who needs pigment?

Buccaneers 21-16

Arizona @ Jacksonville

Don't look now, but the Cardinals have a winning record and are within ... did you just look? I told you not to! Do you have any idea what you've done!? No, no this just won't do. Call off the game. And just in case the game isn't cancelled by Sunday, I'll take Arizona.

Cardinals 20-10

Oakland @ Houston

The Raiders have the 31st passing offense in the league, the Texans have the best passing defense in the league. This isn't going to be pretty. For so many reasons other than just that statistical mismatch, I mean it's the Texans and Raiders so expect a first rate uggo.

Texans 28-20

Sunday Afternoon

San Diego @ Miami

Thanks to a wacky voicemail mix-up the Dolphins are missing two key starters on their offensive line. The result has been Ryan Tannehill facing probably more pressure than anybody involved with the Dolphins organization has ever faced. With the team in disarray even the scuffling Chargers seem likely to come to Miami and get a win. Now, if Dolphins players can just remember to use *67 in the future they might get their ship pointed back in the right direction.

Chargers 26-21 

San Francisco @ New Orleans

It was tough sledding for the 49ers in their loss to Carolina, but that makes sense, because there was no snow on the ground and the game was being played on a very flat surface. This week they're playing inside the Superdome, so it would seem that sledding is completely out of the question. The Saints have been dominant at home, beating teams by an average of 20 points. While I don't expect this one to be quite so one-sided, New Orleans should still get the win.

Saints 24-13

Green Bay @ New York Giants

The Giants have throttled the Packers the last two times they've played (37-20 & 38-10), and that's with Aaron Rodgers. Well now it's Scott Tolzien's show and I'm guessing that the reviews will not be rave. I mean, not Dads bad, but then again nothing is. With a win this Sunday the Giants can get to 4-6, which would put them right in the thick of things with a big divisional match-up against Dallas on the horizon in Week 12. Oh God, it's happening again isn't it? Please somebody just beat them and let this be over. 

Giants 22-16

Minnesota @ Seattle

It's been a long wait for Hawks fans, but the missing piece may finally make his debut soon. That's right Tharold Simon is returning to practice this week! And he can't come back soon enough now that it appears Brandon Browner may miss the remainder of the season with a groin injury. In other news, Percy Harvin could play his first game for the Hawks this Sunday, and if he doesn't get a touchdown the first time he touches the ball I think we can all agree that the trade was a mistake. Alright, enough goofing, I doubt that Harvin will play a big role until after the bye week, but judging by the receiving corps' performance last Sunday, another game on their own seems doable.

Seahawks 30-10

Sunday Night

Kansas City @ Denver

A lot of folks are touting this match-up as a Game of the Year candidate. Personally I've got Miami @ Buffalo in Week 16 circled on my calendar; I'm just a big fan of that rivalry, such a culture clash. But I have to admit that this contest carries a lot of weight with the AFC West lead and the conference's top spot on the line. The Chiefs have surrendered no more than 17 points in a game this season while the Broncos have scored at least 28 every time they've taken the field. This means something's gotta give ... or both team's just kind of even each other out and Denver scores about 23. Yeah, that seems more likely.

Broncos 23-20

Monday Night

New England @ Carolina

Somewhere in a dimly lit room in Connecticut the tied up ESPN employee who scheduled this season's Monday Night games has been given an extra bowl of porridge to eat, because lo and behold one of his selections has finally proven to be a quality match-up. The Panthers have won five in a row and are coming off their biggest conquest yet. Meanwhile, The Patriots have seemed mediocre all season but somehow find themselves at 7-2. In the end, I think Carolina stays as hot as a steaming bowl of porridge. Now, just imagine how much that guy's going to have to eat come Week 13.

Panthers 19-17