NFL Picks - Week 4

Sunday Dawn

New York Jets @ Miami

Wake up, there's a game on! Meh, never mind, it's Jets/Dolphins, you can go back to bed if you want. Um, I don't want to be nosy or anything but why are you sleeping in that? And why are there so many stains on it? Good news for the Jets, Geno Smith may be active for this game. Better news for the Jets, they don't have to let him play.

Dolphins 23-18

Sunday Morning

Jacksonville @ Indianapolis

The Colts have now won 14 straight against their divisional foes in the AFC South, including 6 game sweeps in 2013 and '14. When you take into account that they've gone 11-5 in each of those seasons, that means they're only a .500 team against the rest of the league. Fortunately for Indy the Jaguars are in the AFC South, which doubles their chances of winning.

Colts 31-20

New York Giants @ Buffalo

Giants, Bills, sounds like that fancy dinner date I had last week! Ok fine, there was no date, I was alone. Fine, it was actually a lunch. Alright, it wasn't even that fancy. That doesn't mean the bill wasn't giant though. I mean I know guacamole is extra, but that much extra?

Bills 26-16

Carolina @ Tampa Bay

The Panthers are 3-0, eh? That's cute. I don't buy it; it's cute though. Their schedule has been pretty soft so far, and while Tampa isn't necessarily the toughest match-up in the league ... Um, I don't have any way to finish that thought, Tampa's is pretty lousy too. But I just don't see the Panthers getting to 4-0, so I'll roll with the home team in a MILD UPSET.

Buccaneers 17-16

Philadelphia @ Washington

The Eagles got off to a hot start last week, then took the second half off in terms of scoring points on their way to capturing to win #1 on the season. While it's an encouraging step, it still highlights the up and down nature of the Philly offense. They've scored 58 points total through three games, but 45 of those have come in just two halves, meaning that in the other four halves they've only put up 13. They're inconsistent to say the least. Actually, if I were going to say the least I would have just written the score. Probably would have saved us all a lot of time. But we wouldn't be as knowledgeable as we are right now. We're learning together, and it feels great!

Eagles 27-20

Oakland @ Chicago

When he was thrust into the Bears' starting job I don't think any of us expected much from Jimmy Clausen. And when I say any of us I'm including Jimmy Clausen. He looked perfectly content to hand the ball off, throw it no more than five yards down the field, and punt on each and every series in his first start of the season. If the goal was to not turn the ball over, then he succeeded; however, if the goal was to score a point then he most decidedly did not succeed. Playing at home this week against a somewhat suspect Raiders' defense should result in better than a shutout. I mean it can't be worse than a shutout can it? Can it?!? Hold on, I'm checking. (Four hours later) I scoured the record books and could only find one game in the history of the NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE in which a team scored negative points, and it was that time when Dan Orlovsky ran out of the back of the end zone. So if Clausen can avoid that he should have an improved performance. Certainly not a win though.

Raiders 24-17  

Houston @ Atlanta

The Falcons are 3-0, yet have trailed in the fourth quarter in each of their games so far this season. We might as well start calling these guys the Comeback Cats! I realize that Falcons are not cats, but doesn't that have a nice ring to it? As for this week, why should it be any different? The Texans will take a lead into the final fifteen minutes only to be upended late by Atlanta.

Comeback Cats (Falcons) 26-21

Kansas City @ Cincinnati

The Bengals are undefeated on the football field this season. But let's talk about a location where bengals are not undefeated, and that's their natural habitat. It's here that they are mercilessly picked off daily, not by marauding defensive backs but by ruthless poachers. You might think this issue doesn't affect you, but perhaps you should reconsider. You know that tiger skin rug in front of your fireplace? Guess what it's made out of? Tiger! Maybe a 4-0 start from Cincinnati will finally force you to look in the mirror.

Bengals 24-22

Sunday Afternoon

Cleveland @ San Diego

The Browns are coming to town! That relieved exultation isn't just for constipation sufferers anymore; it's now shouted by every team with the Cleveland football squad on their schedule. I realize that both teams come into this game with a record of 1-2, but I really don't see any chance of San Diego losing. But if they don't get the better of the Browns expect the Chargers to feel a lot of uncomfortable pressure, and not just in their lower abdomen.

Chargers 38-17

Green Bay @ San Francisco

I used to think that Colin Kaerperpick would be the best combination of the 49er quarterback's name and interceptions. However, after watching the Cardinals take a pick back to the house on each of San Fran's first possessions last week, I now think that 'Nick 6 might be more appropriate. Even if it's not I'll have fun trying it out for a few weeks. This is an interesting match-up though for Nick 6. He's dominated the Packers in the past with his running ability, which is the one thing he seems to still be able to do. I don't think the Niners will win, but I expect them to hang around until Nick 6 is forced to start throwing the ball.

Packers 37-24 

St. Louis @ Arizona

The Cardinals' hot start has some folks legitimately wondering if they're the best team in football. Personally it's left me wondering if they've had the easiest schedule in football. Their first three games were NO, @ CHI, and SF. Sure Arizona has beaten them all soundly, but it should be interesting to see what happens the competition gets a bit tougher (which it doesn't really until the second half of the season). As for the Rams, they had a hot start of their own last week ... when they set their field on fire. C'mon Rams.

Cardinals 30-22

Minnesota @ Denver

This season Peyton Manning has repeatedly redefined the term "winning ugly." On Urban Dictionary, that is. Every time he does it the editors quickly remove what he's written, but Peyton, to his credit, keeps getting on there and re-posting. It's some really tasteless stuff that the site is justified in taking down, and I wouldn't dare share it with you in this space. But be that as it may, I think this whole subplot illustrates Manning's dedication and relentlessness. It's that alone that will carry Denver this season. That and their very good defense.
Broncos 29-19

Sunday Night

Dallas @ New Orleans

It's that time of the week where I turn the reigns over to CriColl himself, Sunday Night Football analyst Cris Collinsworth.

Glad to hear it CC! What a trooper. I couldn't agree more though, this game should be a stinker. I'm guessing Drew Brees will play, and even if he doesn't Luke McCown should be decent enough to get New Orleans their first home win in seven games.

Saints 20-17

Monday Night

Detroit @ Seattle

It's a night game at CenturyLink Field, which is always tough on the visitors. I'm guessing the late start and the lingering ringing in their ears from a typically noisy crowd will leave the Lions sleepless in Seattle ..... Oh my God! Wait .... NO!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Seahawks 27-13

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