NFL Picks - Thanksgiving

Minnesota @ Detroit

This full slate of Thanksgiving day games would make the Pilgrims proud. Little known fact is that they actually played a football game against the natives on the first Thanksgiving. The Pilgrims were trounced 78-6. They managed one touchdown but missed the 35 yard PAT. After the game they lobbied to move it into 20 yards, which is where the kick stayed until 2015. As for the teams in the early game this season, the Vikings have let it be known that Adrian Peterson may be available to return to the field next month. What's more, Sam Bradford may be able to return soon as well. What's that? Bradford's not injured? Just terrible? Oh, I see. Hmm, well then I guess it wouldn't be wise to take him and the Vikings when they haven't won a road game since September. Just as it wasn't wise for the pilgrims to even attempt that aforementioned PAT in the first place. The coach's chart clearly states that when you're down 78 and score a touchdown you go for two. If we don't learn from history we're doomed to repeat it. 

Lions 23-19


Washington @ Dallas

Thanksgiving is regularly a day when you see your cousins. This year it's a day when you'll see Kirk Cousins. And when you think about it Kirk Cousins is a lot like your cousins. You see them every once in a while and normally it's an enjoyable, if not slightly awkward, experience. But then, at least once a year, in the heat of the moment they start screaming and cause a scene. Then you're reminded that oh yeah, they're kind of crazy. Before you laugh (hopefully?) and reflect on how wacky your cousins are consider this: you're a cousin too. Indeed we're all somebody's cousin, but Kirk is all of our Cousins. Does that work grammatically? Probably not. Does it mean the Redskins will win? Again, probably not. The karmic ramifications of a team named the Redskins playing on Thanksgiving are just too great to ignore.

Cowboys 31-27


Pittsburgh @ Indianapolis

With Andrew Luck in concussion protocol Ben Roethlisberger has cautioned him that a brain is "nothing to mess with." This is coming from a man who famously got in a motorcycle accident while not wearing a helmet. So it's basically the equivalent of the commercial with the lady smoking through her stoma telling you to stay away from cigarettes. Listen to him Andrew! You don't want to end up like this. If Luck does play you just know that the Steelers will be looking to knock the stuffing out of him. Literally. Since this game kicks off at 8:30p local time Luck will have plenty of time to eat a full Thanksgiving meal beforehand, and sources tell me that he regularly overdoes it on the stuffing. The resulting sluggish play from the Colts' QB will be Indy's undoing. 

Steelers 34-24