11.03.2016

NFL Picks - Week 9 Thursday

Atlanta @ Tampa Bay
This is a rematch of a Week 1 game in which the Bucs nearly blew out the Falcons in Atlanta before holding on for a not-as-close-as-it-looked win. Well a lot has changed since then. For instance, the NFL is no longer a dildo-less league. In case you missed it a fan tossed a phony phallus on the field in Buffalo last week. Some found it disgusting, many found it funny. Personally, I found it savvy. The fan who threw it was playing upon NFL players' well-known homophobia. If these guys see a penis they're going to run in the opposite direction. That's why if I was calling the shots for a team who played in a dome I would suspend dildos from the roof to hang the length of the goal line. The opposing team wouldn't want to go anywhere near it. I'm sure you're questioning the legality of dangling what would probably be 53 dildos (one per yard) over the field of play. Well guess what, there's no specific rule against it! So now who's the idiot? You? Or me, the guy with the dildo idea? ... Don't answer that. 

Falcons 27-23

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