Miami vs. Baltimore
Look I'm not one who's prone to hyperbole, but this may be the most dismal game you'll ever see in your entire life. It will be played in an offensive vacuum from which no points can escape. Wait, what's that? Jay Cutler isn't playing?!? Well then never mind! This game just got interesting. Matt Moore probably should have been the Dolphins starter all along, just like Van Halen would have been better with Hagar from the get go. Maybe that was a bad example, but don't let that distract you from the truth that Matt Moore is not terrible, which is an upgrade from Cutler, who is not not terrible. And against a lousy, injured Ravens team not terrible should be enough to get Miami to 5-2; at which point the aforementioned vacuum will open up and suck us all back to our normal dimension where these Miami Dolphins aren't 5-2.