LAST WEEK: 10-4
Philadelphia at Cleveland
1946 Army/Notre Dame game pal, because we don’t want your sick fetishes here in the future! It’s 2020 baby! We need our points. We have fantasy teams to feed. I’d recommend seeking that sustenance elsewhere. Regardless of the weather report for Sunday, the Eagles are involved, and one way or another most of their games have been ugly as hell. The good news for Philly, even if they lose here they won’t have fallen out of first place. That’s right, if they come out of this at 3-6-1 they’ll still be in playoff position. That helps illustrate the point I was trying to make, regardless of the weather, this is going to be a stinker.
Atlanta at New Orleans
The Godfather poster. And just like in the movie itself, come to think of it. Oh my god! I finally get that poster!
Cincinnati at Washington
Detroit at Carolina
Pittsburgh at Jacksonville
Tennessee at Baltimore
What’s the AFC South? That’s your question? It’s Tennessee’s division. What’s a division?!? What are you talking about? How did you get this far into the post without knowing that? I’m moving on. The point is, the losing team will have their work cut out for them the rest of the way, especially if it’s the Ravens. This promises to be a pivotal and entertaining football game. What’s a football game?!!!!? Aaagggghhh!
New England at Houston
Miami at Denver
New York Jets at Los Angeles Chargers
See for yourself. I’m not sure what Herbert was trying to accomplish with this new do, but if his goal was to look like a walking learner’s permit, then mission accomplished! Jokes aside, I have all the confidence in the world that Herbert will lead the Chargers to victory this Sunday. As long as he doesn’t get suspended for breaking curfew. And I mean his parents’ not the team’s (or the city’s for that matter).
Green Bay at Indianapolis
Dallas at Minnesota
Kansas City at Las Vegas
The Chiefs seek to avenge their only loss of the season in their first trip to Vegas. Well I'm sure most of these guys have been to Vegas before, but you get what I was saying, right? It's an exciting match-up, and I'm sure Cris Collinsworth is jut as jazzed. Let's see what he thinks about it:
Los Angeles Rams at Tampa Bay
Hey, a good Monday night game! This is the first MNF match-up this month between winning teams, and looking ahead there might only be one such game on the slate after this for the rest of the season. So enjoy it while you can ESPN! This reminds me of old TV shows or movies when a fancy out-of-towner would come through a hum-drum burg and all the townsfolk would scramble to impress them. Ya know, punt up some bunting, shoo the drunks out of the street, finally bury all the dead bodies that have piled up outside the brothel. One could argue that that’s casting ESPN in too pathetic of a light, and maybe you’re right. But don’t be surprised if you tune in on Monday and see Steve Levy in his finest cotillion gown.