12.01.2010

Apple Cup

Consider this your opportunity to talk shit about either the Huskies or the Cougs.
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Everyone a little shy? Ok I'll get us started...


I hate 'em. The Huskies. I REALLY hate Jack-Huskies ... but that's not what I want to rant about.

Lately I've found a NEW annoying Husky-fan trend. I tell them I hate the Huskies and never root for them... they look mortified and they say "But I root for the Cougars, when they aren't playing the Huskies!?!?".

It's infuriating for a number of reasons, but here are a few thoughts:

A) You're probably a liar. You don't root for the Cougs at all. You just think it makes you sound like a cooler person. It doesn't. Or maybe you're just lying to yourself. 'Cuz if you really root for the Cougs when they aren't playing the Huskies, you're a LAME fan. We're your rival.

Side-note: Let me squash an argument against this right now... Husky Fan: "We care more about beating Oregon. THEY'RE our big rival." Sounds like a delusional Mariners fan from back in the day. We thought the Yankees were our rival. But if you told a Yankee fan that, they'd just laugh in your face. Probably like an Oregon fan would. In fact the similarities are pretty hilarious cuz Husky fans hate the advantages that Oregon has in recruiting just like the Mariner fans hate how the Yankees can spend more money. Problem is the Huskies have a huge advantage in recruiting over most schools just like the M's spend more than most teams. Anyway.. Go Mariners... See ya Jose Lopez...

Where were we?

B) Nobody asked you to root for the Cougs, and quite frankly we don't want ya! We don't need your condescending cheers. The, oh look the little Cougars won, good for them cheers!!! SHOVE IT you pompous d-bags! (this next part is on me cuz I choose to live in Seattle, but TOO BAD) I've got to listen to months and months of how great Jake Locker is (PS what recent QB in the Husky "legacy" wouldn't you take over him? Stanback? Everyone else demolishes him), how great this Husky team is going to be, etc. UGH.

So in closing you magnanimous Husky fans... frack off. Don't root for us. You haven't earned it.

Frack the Huskies.

Go Cougs.

We're gonna roll you.



(lots of generalizations in here... I'll give a pass to my immediate family, and maybe a few others.)

8 comments:

Fortune said...

Frack em!

jimi said...

Look at me, I'm a cougar fan, I went to WSU, I can use big words, my education is not inferior!!! Rest assured Finn, i never root for you filthy fuckin cougars. It brings me pain everytime the huskies lose, and the only thing that almost balances it out is when those dirty little cougars get rolled. "GO Cougs, I mean i grew up on the west side of the mountains and spent my childhood rooting for the dawgs but then i spent 4 years (most 5 or 6) over in the armpit of the state and now i'm a crazy cougar fan who hates everything about their childhood." Why do you hate your childhood? Your mother would be disappointed!! I know, i spoke with her. Why do you cougars always deny your inner purple and gold? Really, even as a youngen' you never rooted for the huskies? So go FRACK yourselfs you childhood hating, baby seal clubbing, mother hating nazis. (because obviously if you hate your childhood that means you hate your mother, club seals, and love the nazis.) The huskies win by three scores. The cougars never even show up, just like they've done all season. Then all the cougar fans do what they do best: get drunk to forget about their miserable lives, try to remember anything from their college days, then drunk dial their mothers to tell them how much they hate her. Frackin' Cougs.

Mr. F said...

I love my Mother. And not in a Jake Locker kinda way.

Bobby said...

THEY BOTH SUCK! LAST PLACE VS 0-12. CANNON FODDER FOR LUCK!!! (this is fun)

Mr. F said...

Bobby, name the last time Loyola won a football game.

jimi said...

i love jake locker..........in a jake locker way

wanamaker said...

i love jake locker..........in a jake locker way

wanamaker said...

Look at me, I'm a cougar fan, I went to WSU, I can use big words, my education is not inferior!!! Rest assured Finn, i never root for you filthy fuckin cougars. It brings me pain everytime the huskies lose, and the only thing that almost balances it out is when those dirty little cougars get rolled. "GO Cougs, I mean i grew up on the west side of the mountains and spent my childhood rooting for the dawgs but then i spent 4 years (most 5 or 6) over in the armpit of the state and now i'm a crazy cougar fan who hates everything about their childhood." Why do you hate your childhood? Your mother would be disappointed!! I know, i spoke with her. Why do you cougars always deny your inner purple and gold? Really, even as a youngen' you never rooted for the huskies? So go FRACK yourselfs you childhood hating, baby seal clubbing, mother hating nazis. (because obviously if you hate your childhood that means you hate your mother, club seals, and love the nazis.) The huskies win by three scores. The cougars never even show up, just like they've done all season. Then all the cougar fans do what they do best: get drunk to forget about their miserable lives, try to remember anything from their college days, then drunk dial their mothers to tell them how much they hate her. Frackin' Cougs.