This cracked me up too...
A little blurb underneath a picture accompanying a story about kicker Morten AndersEn's retirement:
"Morten Andersen cited old knees and lack of a contract Monday when announcing his retirement in his native Denmark."
I'd like to announce my retirement from the NFL as well, much like Morten, it's due to the lack of a contract. Although, now that I think about it, I'd be prepared to come out of retirement as soon as a contract presents itself.