The NBA Playoffs?!?

I know! I couldn't believe it either, but the NBA playoffs are in full swing, and here's who you should be rooting for... The Cleveland Cavaliers.

And here's why:

They are the only contender to the Throne.

What Throne you ask?

Let's just call it the Throne of the most pathetic sports town in America.

If Cleveland wins it's all ours!

Seriously. Before last year both Philly and the Clev layed claim to the Throne, but after the Phillies World Series and the upcoming Cavalier parade... it's just Seattle.

I challenge any Mustacheer to come up with a city that can even touch us on this one. I've thought long and hard about this. There isn't any. But please... make suggestions and I will shoot them down like Ricky Pierce used to bury threes.

So go Cavs!!! At least we can be first in something that way.


EP said...

Just for fun, I'll throw one out there- Kansas City

Mr. F said...

that's good but the royals just won a world series... In like 85. But still better than us

EP said...

Good point, I would still be pretty amped if that was us

Mr. F said...

If I were a kc fan that would have me pumped to. Until I remembered we drafted some rising nose tackle over the best player in the draft.

Johnson said...

Portland or Ithaca, NY

EP said...

F- seriously.... Did you notice in his only highlight they showed it was him making a tackle after a 12 yard gain when I'm pretty sure he missed the initial tackle? Very much our gain

Mr. F said...

Both good cities. But neither have the amount of teams needed for consideration.

Johnson said...

got it~ DC! Skins, Caps, and Nationals (AKA Expos)

Mr. F said...

not sure you do get it. The redskins won two superbowls in the last 30 years

wanamaker said...

I think Johnson is on to something here. Nice France has OGC Nice in Ligue Une and has not won the title since 1958/59. That seems pretty bad.

Bobby said...

San Diego? Vancouver? Portland? Sacramento? Ottawa? Horcrux city? Milwaukee? Oklahoma City? Memphis? Charlotte?

Footnote: I am including the MLS and NAQQ (national association of quiitage queers) in my post.

If you take the MLS and NAQQ out then you can add San Jose, Columbus, and Hogwartz in that mix.

Bobby said...

And New Orleans, Quittage Queers or Not.

Mr. F said...

Bobby - despite what many of the Mustacheers seem to think... I like what you bring to the blog... but any more subtle, or not so subtle jokes about OKC or their stealing of our franchise will not only result in me beating you up the next time I see you, but perhaps even more distressing, your posts will be deleted no matter how amusing I find them. A warning. That is all.

Now for your other cities...

San Diego and New Orleans, not bad. Contenders, but Seattle's stolen team (let's face it, no one cared when the Clippers left the Whale's Vagina for LA ) gives them the edge. Also New Orleans is blowing it again with ANOTHER NBA franchise.

Ottowa... I said America. I love Canada as much as the next guy, but they just don't participate in enough of the major leagues.

Milwaukee... another close one, but I'll bet most Milwaukee fans are fans of the Packers, and they've won a Superbowl recently.

Memphis, not enough teams

Vancouver... Canada, not enough teams.

Good ones though.

Fortune said...

We won a WNBA championship just a few years ago! Lauren Jackson just signed a 1 year deal to return this season. I can smell another championship run.

Mr. F said...

Wow, Sean making a run at the "Other" of the week award.

Mr. F said...

Maybe you and Johnson can start a blog that focuses on Soccer and the WNBA. Call it... Nobodycares.org

Bobby said...

Thanks Finn.

Fair enough about Milwaukee. I commonly make the mistake when reading "city" I think "city", instead of "state". But your right, most Brewers fans are probably Packer fans.

There is also Charlotte, who have been shut out by the Hornets/Bobcats and Panthers. They might have to be thrown into the mix.

I don't see the difference between NO, SD, and Seattle. The difference is semantics; one got screwed out of an NBA team this year, one got screwed out of a NBA team a long time ago, one got screwed by god (Katrina). I can't say one is deserving of the throne over any of the others.

This, IMO, leaves:

Cleveland, Seattle, New Orleans, San Diego, and Charlotte.

Cleveland will likely dunk their way out this year, but there are still 4 other legitimate contenders.

BTW, why do you want this throne anyways? Doesn't everybody like a good red sock wearen, beer bruin, patriotic Celtic on a Revolution? Just think of Braveheart.

Mr. F said...

Ok... Cleveland still leads, but Seattle is the clear second place right now.

New Orleans only has two teams. We had three, but one was, just recently, ripped away from us.

San Diego is close, but The Padres and the Chargers have both been to the championships, and the Clippers left sooooo long ago, that I think our pain is fresher.

Charlotte: Panthers and Seahawks cancel each other out (I'd argue Seahawks cuz of the way we were screwed in teh Superbowl and that the team has been around longer to suffer more), and the Hornets/Bobcats? Well there's just no history there. They belw it with zero attendance for the Hornets and their owner was lame so let's give them a pass. So they get another team and their about to blow it again!!! Can't happen.

So my list looks like this:

1. Cleveland
2. Seattle
3. San Diego
4. New Orleans

then there's a bunch of smaller cities here and there. I think this is a pretty fair list.

Mr. F said...

Wow. Lot's of typos up there. Good work by me.

Erik said...

Red Panda performed last night.

She made Sportscenter's Top 10 list and they referred to her as Crystal the Red Panda.

First, why is she still making the Top 10? Her act is 10 years old at this point.

Second, Crystal? What the fuck!

Erik said...

Quick bit of research: her name is Krystal Liu. She is Mr. Liu's niece.

Mr. F said...

Please tell me this is true ^^^^

She's the second the 4th greatest thing I miss about the NBA.

Erik said...

Couldn't quite decide between 2nd and 4th eh?

I'm not sure about the Mr. Liu relation, I just naturally assumed. How many Chinese people could there really be?

Mr. F said...

Im really Dean Malenkoing it today. I meant 4th

Bobby said...

Ok so I think we resolved it here.

Order of dissapointment:

1) Cleveland (pending 08/09 cavs)
2) Seattle
3) San Diego
4) Finn on 5/13/2009
5) New Orleans
6) Krystal Liu

Mr. F said...

Help me out here Bob-o. What's the significance of me on the 13th?

Bobby said...

"Wow. Lot's of typos up there. Good work by me." Finn on 5/13/2009

"She's the second the 4th greatest thing I miss about the NBA..... Im really Dean Malenkoing it today. I meant 4th" Written by Finn on 5/13/2009