5.25.2009

Red Hats!




So, as you may or may not know, every team in MLB is wearing red hats, with the logo filled in with stars and stripes, today in honor of Memorial Day. (Note the M's version above) This was done last year for the 4th of July, however, then they used a navy blue hat. It seemed like the navy blue was a bit more neutral and blended easier with many teams' uniforms.

I'm at work right now, and there are a lot of day games springing to life, and as they do I'll be giving you the updates on how each team looks while sporting their patriotic caps.

Here's what we've got so far:

- Cincinnati & St. Louis: Both look pretty good. The Reds are wearing their red jerseys as well to really hammer things home. However, both teams' normal hats are red anyway though, so it's kind of boring.

- Houston, Detroit, & Milwaukee: I lumped these together because they all have pretty tame color schemes, and they all look stupid wearing bright red hats. Here's pictures of each teams' hats: Astros, Tigers, and Brewers

- Boston and Minnesota: These teams are playing each other, and both of them look pretty awesome (Here are the Twins. The Red Sawwwwx, were apparently too good to feature their red hat on mlb.com, they did have this one though). Both wear navy blue hats normally, but the switch to red really works. Plus the Twins are wearing their throwback unis, which really makes them pop. (Foy would be harder than Al Davis at a Compton track-meet)

- Texas: They fit perfectly. In fact, I think they should just wear these at all times. I mean, they have a star and stripes in their state flag, so that would work right?

- Kansas City: They're wearing their alternate powder blue jerseys just to make sure they clash as much as possible. Although, the combination makes for an old school Houston Oilers look, which means I give them a thumbs up. Here's their hat.

- New York Yankees: Finally, the red Yankee hat makes it to the field. Rumors that Fred Durst would start at 2nd proved to be unfounded, and in actuality, they look like shit. Sorry, no link on MLB.com, but I found a different one.

- Toronto: Ok, what the fuck is this? The Blue Jays are wearing a red hat that has a maple leaf filling up their logo. But does Memorial Day even have a meaning in Canada? What are they memorializing? Back bacon? Putting orange juice in their Shirley Temples? Multiple time tag-team champs the Quebecers?


Anyway, that's what I've seen so far. Don't worry, I'll be sure to keep you updated whenever a new game starts up. Also, this is just the beginning of a long day of sports for me. I'll be here at the MLB GameMix until 4pm, at which time I will leave to catch the re-scheduled Monday Night Raw at the Staples Center. After that, I'll be back to DirecTV for the French Open Mix from 1 - 9 in the AM. So, it's going to be a full 24 hours of action, more or less. I'm already starting hour 4, but I'll be sure to post plenty of updates on this thread. Get ready Mustacheers, your dreams are about to come true!

57 comments:

Erik said...

Hot damn! We're through 5 innings in the STL @ MIL game and nobody has a hit! It's Carpenter vs. Gallardo, so I think we know who's gonna win. USA! USA!


(Carpenter's not Canadian is he?)

Erik said...

As I typed this, Gallardo gave up an infield hit. Although, it was pretty badly mis-played by Mat Gamel, the American 3rd baseman. Nice work Matty!

Erik said...

The Orioles are also playing right now. Their hat is very confusing because you want to think that it's orange, which would look pretty cool. However, it's not, if you've been paying attention, you know by now that the hat is red. This confusing effect makes my eyes hurt.

Erik said...

Ok, just caught a glimpse of the Padres. They decided to go with their navy blue jerseys. Perhaps they thought that wearing NAVY blue would make them seem more patriotic. Instead, it made them look like barf.

Erik said...

Just saw John McCain at the D-Backs game. The ungrateful bastard isn't even saluting the flag .... oh, whoops.


Carpenter's through 6. America!

Erik said...

The D-Backs look fine, seeing as how they have red in their uniforms normally.

Hey remember when they won the World Series after existing for 4 years? That seemed fair.

Erik said...

There's a rain delay in Cincinnati and the announcers are filling some time. Jeff Brantley just spent the last 5-6 minutes explaining to Thom Brennamen how he feels about ribs, chicken wings, and campfires. Hell of an American.

Speaking of, Carpenter lost his no-hitter with no one out in the 7th.

Erik said...

Dodgers and Rockies just hit the field.

The Rockies look ridiculous, which is nothing new for them.

The Dodgers don't look too bad considering they have the red numbers on the front of their jerseys.

Here's a thought: If Manny wasn't suspended and showed up to the ballpark today to find a red hat in his locker do you think he'd just assume he'd been traded and leave?

Erik said...

M's and A's are starting up.

The A's look absolutely awful with this combination. Charlie Finley is probably rolling over in his grave wondering why he never came up with it.

The M's would look stupid if they were any other team. But, alas, they're the Seattle Mariners, so they look resplendent.

Erik said...

SEA @ OAK

Kurt Suzuki just got called for interference on Johjima's throw down to 2nd. What a Pearl Harbor job!

Also the A's bench coach apparently had a BBQ to get to because he just got tossed in the BOT 1.

Erik said...

The Reds pitching coach is named Dick Pole.

Just thought I'd point that out.

Mr. F said...

I don't have anything to add other than these are great and god bless America.

Erik said...

Um, does anybody realize what Joe Mauer's done after missing the first month of the season? He's played 23 games and here are his stats:

.444 AVG. 11 HR 31 RBI

That's pretty insane.


By the way. As a means of sustenance for my long journey I just made a hot pocket in the break room. The digital display on the microwave said "Enjoy your meal." I can think of at least 2 things wrong with that statement.

Erik said...

Looks like the Indians are going to go with their throwback/alternate uniforms, which have different hats as well that should look very nice, which is surely why they made that choice. Either that, or they thought filling in a big-nosed, toothy-grinned Indian logo with the stars and stripes might be so ironic that it would make everyone's face melt.

Bobby said...

Everybody... shhh... hes still talking to himself...

Erik said...

Ohhhhhhh Doctor!

Really weird play in the M's game just now. Giambi had a 2-2 count at the plate with Matt Holliday on 1st. The next pitch was a ball, and for some reason both Holliday AND Giambi thought it was ball 4. They threw down to 2nd and got Holliday, and Giambi, who had run down to 1st had to return to the plate.

2 theories for why this happened:

1. Feeling the obvious pressure to perform well on a holiday, Matt Holliday could not think clearly and had a mental error.

2. Giambi was trying to be cool in dugout and said something like, "Here's something we used to do back in the Wild Days, everybody just advances on Ball 3. No one will try to stop you, they'll just assume you're right. I used to pull this stuff with Matt Stairs all the time."

wanamaker said...

Those are hypotheses. If there is one thing HCM values it should be the scientific process.

Bobby said...

Hey Wanafaker, Wanahaveabiggerbabymaker, wannafag, why don't you stop freeriding on my (this) site and run a scientific test yourself. Are we suppose to do all the work for you on this site? I think the scientific method here would be to have a reporter ask Giambi and Holliday after the game what happened.

Bobby said...

Its also good to know if years down the road I wanna see the HCM chronicles of "herioc day long efforts" that I will be able to see all the relevant posts.

Erik said...

TB @ CLE

The players are visibly disturbed by the foul stench of all the Cleveland fans shitting their pants over the fact that the Cavs are blowing the East finals.

Good thing the Inidans went with those alternate hats. Melted faces and shitty pants are a horrendous combo.

Erik said...

Alright gang, that's enough baseball for one day. (By the way, I just stand up and say that whenever I feel like it, and that's how my shifts end)

I'm heading out and will be at Raw in a couple hours. DON'T WORRY, I'll have any pertinent updates when I get back. And after that, it's onto 8 hours of tennis!

We're through almost 7 hours, only 17 more ... we can do this. More importantly, I can do this.

Pete said...

From every mountain top, let freedom ring. And crown thy good with brotherhood, my home sweet home, God bless America, MY HOME SWEEEEET HOME.

This will surely go down as the 2nd greatest marathon-type event on an American holiday (nothing can top Sci Fi's Twilight Zone marathon on July 4th).

I just wish Andy Foy were around to read the comment about him.

Erik said...

Allllllrrright!

I'm back!

We're through 12 hours, and I've returned from Raw.

All in all, the show was average. Not very good, but not soul-crushing like the one we went too featuring the DDP - Booker T main event. It started out with a Stan Kroenke impersonator coming down to the ring. At ringside he greeted phoney versions of Jack Nicholson, Jerry Buss, and David Stern. All of these guys were awful. Fake Kroenke looked more like Mike Bjorn (or at least what I think I remember Mike Bjorn looking like. I'm sure I'm way off). Fake Stern was so far off that I DIDN'T want to slice his throat. Fake Nicholson looked closest to the real thing, however, when they did a piece with him backstage he made it abundantly clear that he couldn't even do a halfway decent Nicholson voice. Pathetic. Michael Clark Duncan was also in the crowd, unfortunately it was actually him. And finally, there was a Michael Showalter impersonator 2 rows in front of me. He looked exactly like Showalter, only if he were playing a semi-deuchey L.A. dad with a tan leather jacket and a Kangol hat. Not to mention the fact that he was with like 5 kids, so it probably wasn't him.

By the way, there were at least a dozen signs I saw that mentioned Kroenke, and shockingly enough every time his name was spelled correctly. I couldn't believe it, I guess I have to give the Angelinos a pat on the back here.

The funniest thing I saw was Hornswoggle's entrance video. For some reason, during the video they flash this cartoonish drawing of Hornswoggle that looks way more like Roger Daltrey. It had me laughing for a few minutes.

The main event was a 10 man tag with the bad guys wearing Nuggets jerseys and the good guys sporting Lakers unis. I was clapping for a returning Mr. Kennedy, until I remembered that he was from Green Bay, and I realized why he was wearing jersey #4. Honestly, I literally stopped clapping as soon as I put two and two together.

The biggest pop was for Cena. Loud cheers, but a lot of boos as well. But that creates a dynamic in which the cheer-ers want to drown out the boo-ers, so they get louder, and vice-versa.

As for me, I popped loudest for Santino. Honestly, when his music came on, it was the only time I actually said, "Yeah!" without thinking about it. Which made me realize I'm a bad live wrestling fan. I don't get involved in the chants, I don't cheer loudly for anything, and I generally look down on the people around me. I was really questioning my fanhood until I realized that if I were drunk I would be having a MUCH better time. Unfortunately I couldn't drink because I had to go back to work later in the night.

Speaking of, I'll be heading back in to DirecTV in a few hours, and ... don't worry, I'll be giving you LIVE updates from the French Open Mix. Including every time they show the Eiffel Tower. Get ready for it!

Mr. F said...

You're not a bad fan. It's just that wrestling pretty much sucks right now. You cheered the only guy on the show worth cheering... And sort of Kennedy.

By the way... Are our old announcing friends calling the matches again? By god... Was that a full year ago? No... Wimbledon, right?

Erik said...

I checked the announcer sked? skedj? skej? Anyway, I did not see Whit Shepard on there. So we probably won't have him responding to any antagonistic posts.

And no, it wasn't a year ago. In fact, it was the Australian Open, which was only back in January. C'mon Finn, even some dumb Aussie like Whit would remember that.

Erik said...

Ok, I'm heading into the final 1/3 of this sports odyssey, and I realize that no one will be awake to read the following posts as I make them. I've lost contact, it's like I've gone to the other side of the moon. However, I'm going to keep on posting so that you all have something eternally entertaining to read when you wake up.

I just got onto the French Open website, and it would appear that they let Wes Anderson's artist design the homepage:

http://www.rolandgarros.com/index.html


Alright, that's all I've got for now. But stay tuned for more exciting French Open (and whatever else I'm watching) coverage. Plus live updates of every time Tennis Channel shows the Eiffel Tower!

Erik said...

Eiffel Tower (I just spotted it in the background though, so maybe it shouldn't count)

Erik said...

At this point shouldn't Clay Aiken have a sponsorship with the French Open? It's gotta help both parties, don't ya think?

Erik said...

Eiffel Tower

Erik said...

Eiffel Tower

Erik said...

Well we're in a rain delay. It's difficult to tell how hard it's actually raining, but they certainly ran off the court fast.

However, it looks like a young man is lingering in the stands on Court 3. The rain is pounding on him as he yells, "Cowards!"

Erik said...

This rain has really put a damper on things. Hey-o! Thanks, I'll be here all night. No really, I will.

Erik said...

Eiffel Tower!

Erik said...

I feel like "Rain rain, go away," would have been a good Arnold quote. Like maybe he stabs a guy with an umbrella or something.

In case you couldn't tell, it's still raining.

Here's a pretty cool link to a Wikipedia page that has info on all the bogus movies ever mentioned on Seinfeld:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Seinfeld_fictional_films

Erik said...

Eiffel Tower

Erik said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Erik said...

Eiffel Tower

Erik said...

I don't often drink soda, but when I do, I prefer Cherry Coke at 4 in the morning.


Stay thirsty my friends.

Erik said...

Eiffel Tower

Erik said...

Eiffel Tower

Erik said...

Apparently Weird Al's daughter is the 5th seed in the Women's draw.

http://www.rolandgarros.com/en_FR/players/overview/wta100153.html

Erik said...

Eiffel Tower

Erik said...

So the rain stopped about an hour ago and play has resumed. As of right now I'm combing through the French Open website to find a good-looking female tennis player. It's not very easy. Of course there's Ivanovic and Sharapova, but I'm looking for a fresh face. And I think this might be just that in Stephanie Cohen-Aloro:

http://www.rolandgarros.com/en_FR/players/overview/wta030501.html

You're welcome.

wanamaker said...

I think that is really Monica Seles

Mr. F said...

Everybody chiiiiillllll

Erik said...

I just looked in the mirror (something I normally do every 5 minutes)and saw that one of my eyes is getting very blood-shot. I'm falling apart physically after looking at TV screens for 14 hours.

Look man, I didn't sign up for this! Get those cameras out of my face!

Erik said...

Alright, so it looks like I'll be able to leave around 8:15. So we're heading into the final hour here, and I'm effing pumped!


(In actuality, I'm having trouble staying awake. It's getting pretty rough. I should have bought Jolt)

Erik said...

My search of the female tennis stars has ended. The answer is Maria Kirilenko (No, not Andrei Kirilenko's wife who lets him have sex with another woman every year). Apparently she's already been in SI's swimsuit issue, so, obviously she's not a total unknown. Anyway, here ya go:

http://i.cdn.turner.com/si/pr/subs/swimsuit/images/09_maria-kirilenko_behind_01.jpg

Erik said...

Eiffel Tower


Sorry, I realize that last link didn't fit in the post. Just google her I guess.

Erik said...

Eiffel Tower

Mr. F said...

Stay away from the Jolt. Didn't you ever see that T-shirt that Sebastian Bach wore on stage? it read: Jolt kills bloggers dead.

Erik said...

Well, that's enough sports for one day.

I'm starting to fade in and out of consciousness so I'm going to sleep.

I want to thank everyone who made the journey with me. You 4 are the best. It was a wild ride, that I hope to not have to duplicate for quite some time (editor's note: He has the same schedule on Thursday, minus Raw, of course)

Thank you, and God bless America ....... Now watch this drive.

Fortune said...

You didnt go bananas when The King ran out in is Laker tights and tried extremely unsuccessfully to take out The Big Show?

Mr. F said...

The only time it's approproate to "go bananas" at a wrestling event, is after Marty Jannety receives the hot tag late in a match.

wanamaker said...

I think that is really Monica Seles

wanamaker said...

Eiffel Tower


Sorry, I realize that last link didn't fit in the post. Just google her I guess.

wanamaker said...

Allllllrrright!

I'm back!

We're through 12 hours, and I've returned from Raw.

All in all, the show was average. Not very good, but not soul-crushing like the one we went too featuring the DDP - Booker T main event. It started out with a Stan Kroenke impersonator coming down to the ring. At ringside he greeted phoney versions of Jack Nicholson, Jerry Buss, and David Stern. All of these guys were awful. Fake Kroenke looked more like Mike Bjorn (or at least what I think I remember Mike Bjorn looking like. I'm sure I'm way off). Fake Stern was so far off that I DIDN'T want to slice his throat. Fake Nicholson looked closest to the real thing, however, when they did a piece with him backstage he made it abundantly clear that he couldn't even do a halfway decent Nicholson voice. Pathetic. Michael Clark Duncan was also in the crowd, unfortunately it was actually him. And finally, there was a Michael Showalter impersonator 2 rows in front of me. He looked exactly like Showalter, only if he were playing a semi-deuchey L.A. dad with a tan leather jacket and a Kangol hat. Not to mention the fact that he was with like 5 kids, so it probably wasn't him.

By the way, there were at least a dozen signs I saw that mentioned Kroenke, and shockingly enough every time his name was spelled correctly. I couldn't believe it, I guess I have to give the Angelinos a pat on the back here.

The funniest thing I saw was Hornswoggle's entrance video. For some reason, during the video they flash this cartoonish drawing of Hornswoggle that looks way more like Roger Daltrey. It had me laughing for a few minutes.

The main event was a 10 man tag with the bad guys wearing Nuggets jerseys and the good guys sporting Lakers unis. I was clapping for a returning Mr. Kennedy, until I remembered that he was from Green Bay, and I realized why he was wearing jersey #4. Honestly, I literally stopped clapping as soon as I put two and two together.

The biggest pop was for Cena. Loud cheers, but a lot of boos as well. But that creates a dynamic in which the cheer-ers want to drown out the boo-ers, so they get louder, and vice-versa.

As for me, I popped loudest for Santino. Honestly, when his music came on, it was the only time I actually said, "Yeah!" without thinking about it. Which made me realize I'm a bad live wrestling fan. I don't get involved in the chants, I don't cheer loudly for anything, and I generally look down on the people around me. I was really questioning my fanhood until I realized that if I were drunk I would be having a MUCH better time. Unfortunately I couldn't drink because I had to go back to work later in the night.

Speaking of, I'll be heading back in to DirecTV in a few hours, and ... don't worry, I'll be giving you LIVE updates from the French Open Mix. Including every time they show the Eiffel Tower. Get ready for it!