NFL Picks Week 11 ... The Conclusion

I'm coming off a 5-8 week. Like I said I had to rush and didn't have a lot of success, kind of like the Hawks inside the 10. Whoops, I let slip some Seahawks criticism, better make up for it by really hammering the Niners later.

Sunday Morning


If CBS just didn't send a crew out to this game would anyone notice? I doubt it, and I'm including people in Buffalo and Cincinnati.

Bengals 23-13

Detroit @ Dallas

Ya know a lot's going to be made about this being the Kitna Bowl. In fact, it led Sportscenter last night. But I'm sorry, I'm just not that interested. Now, if this game were being played in Detroit where Kitna's jersey hangs in the rafters then it would be a different story.

Cowboys 28-20

Washington @ Tennessee

The Redskins seem to be a cohesive organization, "McNabb, you're fat, slow, and dumb ... here's $80 million." Honestly, what have they seen from McNabb this year that warrants an extension at all, let alone one for $80 million (There's little chance that he'll actually end up with the whole thing, but still.) One writer claimed that there were racial undertones to Shanahan's comments about McNabb not being able to grasp the playbook. Well guess what, McNabb does seem stupid, and it has nothing to do with the fact that he's black, the guy didn't know how overtime worked! Anyway, the Redskins suck.

Titans 24-16

Arizona @ Kansas City

Kansas City's on a two game losing streak but there's good news for Chiefs fans: the Cardinals are coming to town! I'm actually thinking about changing my name so that nobody ever confuses me for Derek Anderson.

Chiefs 34-20

Green Bay @ Minnesota

Anybody catch Favre's press conference after the Vikings' loss last week? It was self-indulgent, even for Favre. It's going to be great when Minnesota's 5-9 and he's still pulling this shit but nobody cares. He's going to have to take a picture of something really crazy just to stay relevant. I'm guessing taint.

Packers 24-21

Houston @ New York Jets

Mark Sanchez seems like he's really becoming a bona fide NFL quarterback, including his terrible celebration (at the :08 mark) after throwing the game-winning touchdown pass. Sweet high steps Mark, isn't this guy supposed to be cool? I'll bet chicks aren't gonna be into him anymore. As for Houston, they seem to really have trouble defending against the deep ball, so I can't in good conscience pick them.

Jets 23-17

Oakland @ Pittsburgh

Tom Brady may have uncovered the secret to beating the Steelers' defense last week, all you have to do is yell at your offense a lot and remind them to play well. Unfortunately for the Raiders, I'm not sure that Jason Campbell has that in him so they'll probably lose.

Steelers 26-17

Baltimore @ Carolina

Wacky Pick of the Week time: Steve Smith will finally get his wish when it's revealed that the most brilliant scientists Charlotte has to offer have collaborated to clone a team full of Steve Smiths. The team will unravel, however, when it becomes apparent that even Steve Smith can't stand Steve Smith.

Ravens 23-9

Cleveland @ Jacksonville

Is Cleveland the best team in the NFL? Not as long as the Hawks are still in the league obviously, but are they in the top 5? No, but they're pretty solid. There, I said it, these Browns are solid (a phrase I haven't been able to use since the McRib returned).

Browns 28-20

Sunday Afternoon

Tampa Bay @ San Francisco

After consecutive wins the Niners' season is back on track. Mike Singletary should take time out of his day to thank his lucky stars that he coaches in the NFC West. Though, he probably won't be able to because he already burned all his time outs. The bad news for San Fran is that Josh "World Beater" Freeman is coming to town, and this guy loves crushing lame-o's.

Bucs 23-16

Seattle @ New Orleans

The Seahawks are flying under the radar right now, and I think they like it that way. That's the rationalization I've come to to explain their ridiculous inability to score in the red zone. See if they scored too many points they'd have a bull's eye on their chest. Luckily this game is a 1pm start time. I don't know why the Saints decided to go with the later kickoff, but someone just make a bad mistake!

Seahawks 27-24

Atlanta @ St. Louis

And here's game #3 in this week's NFC West/NFC South showdown. Some would say that those are the best and worst divisions in the conference, but I'm not sure, I mean the South isn't that bad. The Rams have played well at home and this has the makings of a letdown for Atlanta, who just came off a big win and have two tough games coming up.

Rams 20-17

Indianapolis @ New England

I fell asleep during this game last year, but to be fair I was tired. This year I vow to stay awake AND pay attention. It's this type of commitment that makes it possible for me to bring you this post most weeks. Anybody else think it's lame that Brady is trying to copy Whitehurst's hair?

Patriots 28-23

Sunday Night

New York Giants @ Philadelphia

It's nice to see Michael Vick be able to concentrate on football after all of those nasty dogfighting rumors. This guy has shown us what courage is all about.

Giants 24-20

Monday Night

Denver @ San Diego

Once again the AFC West has aligned itself for the Chargers to take over the division in the second half of the season. Why are we even surprised at this point? It happens every year. There should be a prop bet at the beginning of each season: Which will last longer? The Chargers being outside of 1st place or Alex Smith being a starting quarterback.

Chargers 35-17

No comments: