2020 NFL Preview

    Holy smokes gang, is it football season already?!? I swear it feels like the Super Bowl was just yesterday. Isn’t it funny how that happens sometimes? You blink and then … society as you know it crumbles. It’s just one of those things. Random! Heh heh … Look, I won’t lie to you folks, my brain has deteriorated substantially over the past six months. The isolation and lack of social engagement has left me a withered husk of my formal self. Sure I’ve tried to keep myself occupied like everybody else has: baking bread, bingeing TV shows, starting to type lists then staring blankly at the wall for minutes trying to remember what you were going to write. See what I mean? I know you all come here for (debatably) the most intelligent football writing on the internet but I’m not sure I can live up to expectations this time. While we’re on the subject of expectations, why don’t we go ahead and delve into my predictions for the 2020 NFL season. (Yes! Dynamite segue. Perhaps I’ve underestimated my mental acuity after all. Alright, now where was I … Uhh … Oh boy, I have no idea what I was just about to say … Was I talking about Mr. Destiny? For some reason I have this feeling that I was telling you all about the 1990 Jim Belushi comedy Mr. Destiny … [2 and a half hours later] … Oh right! The  2020 NFL preview. In hindsight I should have just read back over what I already typed. That would’ve been a lot quicker.)

    I’ve done preseason playoff predictions for the last 8 years. I’d like to lie to you all and say that I have a 100% accuracy rate. And actually, are you guys going to go back and check the archives? Because if not, then I do have a 100% accuracy rate. Incredible, right? But if you did take the time to verify the veracity of my claim then you’re already aware that I’ve correctly predicted only 59% of playoff teams since 2012. That averages out to about 7 of the 12 teams. It’s actually kind of impressive when you consider that someone picking at random would only get 38% right. However, when you take into account that I’m making “educated” guesses, it’s a bit mediocre. And that’s why I’m making a vow right now to do better this season. I hereby guarantee that I’ll hit on more than 7 of the playoff teams this time. Am I this confident because the league expanded the playoff field to 14 teams meaning I don’t even have to improve my percentage to reach my goal? Yes. Any other questions hot shot? No? Good, then let’s take a look at the 2020 NFL standings, and the 14 teams that will qualify for the postseason.

 

AFC East
Buffalo Bills	11-5
New England Patriots	10-6
Miami Dolphins	4-5
New York Jets	6-10

 

AFC North
Baltimore Ravens	12-4
Pittsburgh Steelers	11-5
Cleveland Browns	7-9
Cincinnati Bengals	5-11

 

AFC South
Indianapolis Colts	10-6
Houston Texans	9-7
Tennessee Titans	8-8
Jacksonville Jaguars	1-6
AFC West
Kansas City Chiefs	12-4
Los Angeles Chargers	8-8
Denver Broncos	7-9
Las Vegas Raiders	1-3

 

NFC East
Dallas Cowboys	11-5
Philadelphia Eagles	9-7
New York Giants	5-11
Washington Football Team	4-12

 

NFC North
Minnesota Vikings	11-5
Green Bay Packers	9-7
Chicago Bears	6-10
Detroit Lions	3-13

 

NFC South
Tampa Bay Buccaneers	11-5
New Orleans Saints	10-6
Atlanta Falcons	7-9
Carolina Panthers	4-12

 

NFC West
Seattle Seahawks	16-0
San Francisco 49ers	10-6
Los Angeles Rams	10-6
Arizona Cardinals	1-1

 

    As you can see some teams will struggle on the field, some will struggle off of it, and some poor bastards will do both.

Moving on to the playoffs …

AFC Wild Card Round
#2 Ravens over #7 Texans	31-17
#3 Bills over #6 Patriots	24-21
#5 Steelers over #4 Colts	30-20

 

NFC Wild Card Round
#7 Rams over #2 Vikings	27-24
#3 Cowboys over #6 Saints	31-23
#5 49ers over #4 Buccaneers	20-16

 

AFC Divisional Round
#1 Chiefs over #5 Steelers	35-25
#2 Ravens over #3 Bills	19-10

 

NFC Divisional Round
#1 Seahawks over #7 Rams	28-23
#5 49ers over #3 Cowboys	27-26

 

AFC Championship Game
#2 Ravens over #1 Chiefs	30-27

 

NFC Championship Game
#1 Seahawks over #5 49ers	31-6

 

Super Bowl LV
Seahawks over Ravens	26-19

 

    Wow, what a ride! And just like the last 6 months it all went by in a flash. Also, I know this is the Raiders’ first season in Nevada, and typically the NFL doesn’t take their championship game to a brand new stadium, but wouldn’t it make sense for Super Bowl LV to be held in Las Vegas? Why not? Oh right, I forgot why the Raiders were only going to be able to play 4 games this season. Never mind.

    Anyway, be sure to come back every Thursday and Friday for weekly picks. Unless you have something better to do. But keep in mind, I know that you don’t.