The worst thing I saw this week hasn't happened yet. Maybe that was a little confusing. What I meant to say was that it was an upcoming event that I first heard about this week. Maybe that was even more confusing. Why don't we cut to the chase:
Brandon Morrow Bobblehead Night.
I'm sure you've all heard of it already, but I felt someone had to point out the absolute absurdity of this. (Here's the link in case you want more info.) Now I know we've been getting on poor ol' B-Mor pretty hard lately, but c'mon. What does a guy have to do for a team to cancel a bobblehead night? Would one more blown save have done the trick? The website advertises that the first 20,000 fans will receive a miniature Morrow, but will that many people actually show up? I think this promotion may actually result in an attendance drop. Here's my guess of what a hypothetical convo might be like:
A: Hey wanna go to the game on Friday?
A: C'mon I've got free tickets.
B: The money wasn't the problem, I just don't want one of those fucking bobbleheads.
In essence, the Mariners are now penalizing fans for coming out to the ballpark. Another scenario may arise in which tens of thousands of fans wait outside the stadium in an attempt to NOT be one of the first 20,000 people through the gates. This standoff may last throughout the entire game, causing Safeco to be completely empty. Well, maybe Dale Shit will be there, but that's about it.
Another question I have would be about the movement of the head. Normally, a bobblehead faces forward and bobbles back and forth; however, I suggest that Morrow's should pivot over his shoulder so that he can watch another home run he gave up sail over the fence.
The preposterousness doesn't stop with this promotion however, there's also a Franklin Gutierrez bobblehead give-away on July 24th. Look, I love Goots as much as the next guy, but does he deserve this? I think not. So where does it stop? Where do the M's draw the line? Having a bobblehead made in your likeness used to mean something, now you basically get one when you sign with the team. Which reminds me, make sure you all head to the ballpark on September 18th for Dustin Ackley Bobblehead Night!