So last week didn't turn out too well. I was only 7-6 in straight up picking games, which, quite frankly, is Jimmy Johnson-esque. And if I remember correctly, part of the mission statement of this website was to be be better than Jimmy Johnson, so I'll have to step it up this time around. On the bright side I had some close calls on the NO-ATL game (mine: 34-27 actual: 35-27) and the MIA-NYJ game (mine: 28-25 actual: 30-25) so I'm still obviously a credible source of football pickery.
The Early Games:
Washington @ Atlanta
Oh baby, it's finally here, DeAngelo Hall's return to Atlanta. In what is no doubt the most anticipated game featuring a player versus his former team since that one time that the Rams signed Isaiah Kacyvenski the week they played the Hawks (what a bunch of Harley riders). I don't know about you folks but I'll have my browser open to the "Hall Cam" on foxsports.com.
Arizona @ Chicago
Was it some sort of "Freaky Friday" scenario last week when Kurt Warner threw 5 picks against Carolina? Did he and Jake Delhomme change bodies somehow? It sure seemed like it. The Cardinals are 3-0 on the road this year, but the Bears are 3-0 at home. In fact, when you look at their team stats these two are remarkably similar, almost identical ... identical, hmm ... identical twins ... The Parent Trap ... is it possible Kurt Warner has become involved in some sort of Disney movie curse? What's next a Bedknobs and Broomsticks game? (No, I don't know how that would work.)
Baltimore @ Cincinnati
Are the Bengals for real? I say no. Most likely they're holograms. And while they're very technologically advanced and hard to tackle as a result, I'm not sure they're going to win this one.
Houston @ Indianapolis
I've heard this be called the biggest game in the history of the Texans, and I'm sure if you asked him Peyton Manning would say this is the biggest game of his career as well. I actually think the Texans will put up a fight because the Colts have little to no homefield advantage due to the sun coming through giant windows on either end of their stadium and blinding everyone on the field. Honestly what were they thinking when they built this place? "It'll be a good thing to blind the players. And these windows will make it look like a basketball fieldhouse, and we're in Indiana, and we like basketball." Honestly, I'll bet you someone said that verbatim.
Miami @ New England
It was during this game last year that the Wildcat broke onto the scene, and I honestly don't think I've gone a day in my life since without hearing that word. New England is coming off a bye week, but have actually had about 3 weeks off after playing Tennessee and Tampa Bay. In other words they're well rested.
Green Bay @ Tampa Bay
Tampa is the only winless team left in the league. This isn't what you'd expect from a Raheem Morris coached group.
Kansas City @ Jacksonville
He's a man called Sting! A man called Sting!
Carolina @ New Orleans
The Saints are looking pretty unstoppable. Well, Unstoppable is Jake Delhomme's middle name. Oh, wait a minute, it's actually Christopher. Nevermind then, I guess I'll take the Saints.
Detroit @ Seattle
So apparently the only way the Hawks can win a game is by shutting the other team out. Thank God the Lions are coming to town.
Tennessee @ San Francisco
So Vince Young actually captained the Titans to their first win last week. Sure he only threw for 125 yards, but he was 15 for 18 which isn't bad for a guy with crippling depression. Maybe this guy just knows how to win, more importantly, maybe Alex Smith doesn't.
Titans 23-20 (OT)
San Diego @ New York
Here's my wacky pick of the week: Because both teams are riddled with assholes, the referees will kick everyone out of the game for egregious unsportsmanlike conduct. The game will then be decided in a Quarterback's Challenge between Phil Rivers and Eli. This will also settle the score on who got the better of the '04 draft day trade and which one is more hateable.
Dallas @ Philadelphia
I talked about this with Pete (Draft Guru) on Sunday, but how long did it take the rest of you to develop a deep hatred for Miles Austin? Was it the first shot of him with a shit-eating grin on his face? The 15th? I hate this guy even more than Houshmandzadeh, and that's saying something.
Pittsburgh @ Denver
At the end of every Monday night game ESPN does a little vignette with Bocephus and some cheerleaders in which he says, "See ya in (whatever city is next)" Then they show a page in a book with the next match-up written on it. At the end of last week's game it said Pittsburg at Denver. This begs the question was Bocephus in charge of the spelling?