The Blunder....

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!

This guy on Yahoo! Sports already did a good job reporting this, but I had to link to it:

http://sports.yahoo.com/nba/blog/ball_dont_lie/post/Introducing-the-Thunder-s-new-mascot-Rumble;_ylt=AiLv3JtnoDv8HGFtwML7WMCezIx4?urn=nba,142251

The new Thunder mascot.... he misses all his dunks. HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA

This kills me!

HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Fuck you OKC.

Jim Caple Copied Me

At least with his first paragraph. He even used the same picture.

Extremely Informative Sports Radio Chat

Driving into work this morning Groz, subbing for Mitch so I actually listened, was previewing the UW at UCLA game. He was chatting with the "Voice of the Bruins" Chris Roberts. The two of them were discussing why the Dawgs have such a hard time winning at Pauley Pavilion. Groz said somthing along the lines of there is no reason, everyone in LA is so laid back, they just sit on their hands. Mr Bruin replied with something along the lines of "well old friend, it must have been a while since you have been down here. Howland has convinced some students to wear blue shirts." Groz replied, "youre right I need to come down there and see some games with their new coach. It's probably just the history of the building, Ill give you that." To which Roberts replied, it is pretty imposing to see 11 national championship banner hanging from the rafters. Thinking about the people who have played on that court. Lew Alcindor, Kareem Abdul-Jabaar, Bill Walton, and Ed O'Bannon." I cant wait to stand around the water cooler today and spout off all my new found knowledge.

Mariners Re-Sign Entire 1995 Team

PEORIA, AZ – In an attempt to lure former Mariners superstar Ken Griffey Jr. back to the club, first-year General Manager Jack Zduriencik has re-signed every other player from the historic 1995 team. "The magic is back!" said Zduriencik on Monday, "Speedy Joey Cora, Randy "The Big Man" Johnson, Jay "Bonesaw" Buhner, and the rest of the great players you knew and loved will all be back in Mariners uniforms come opening day." Zduriencik, while admittedly unfamiliar with the players, was still very enthusiastic about the impending reunion and the turn around it could trigger for the organization. "All I know is that these guys saved baseball in this town once, and now they’re going to revive it, or my name isn’t Jack Zaderrrunnn-chickk …."

The series of moves comes as a surprise to many in the organization, including some of the more high-priced talent, such as 3rd baseman Adrian Beltre, who is entering the final year of his contract. "Beltre? Fuck him." Zduriencik responded. "Give me Mike Bowers any day of the week. I mean, just look at Beltre’s numbers last time he was in a contract year … Holy shit! 48 homers! … Um, whatever, Bowers will jack 50." When reached for comment Blowers responded in a whiny monotone, "Hmm, that seems a little unrealistic. And my name is Blowers. That being said, it should be fun to play again, I’m very very thrilled."

The team, as of right now is an exact mirror of the opening day roster from 1995, minus Griffey, of course. This leads some to believe that midseason moves will be made. Especially weary is former pitching prospect Jim Converse who was traded at the ’95 deadline for speedster Vince Coleman. "I can’t help but feel like I might not be here the whole season," said Converse. When approached with these comments Zduriencik responded, "Converse has an attitude problem, eh? Well I’m not afraid to ship out a bad seed, even one with as much promise as a Jim Converse." Converse played his last major league game in 1997, ending a 5-year career.

As odd and downright foolish as the move may seem to most, Zduriencik remains optimistic. "If you ask me, this team, with Griffey, might not lose a game. In fact, with the heart that this squad has, they’ll probably refuse to drop any to the opposition. I’ve even come up with a slogan that encompasses these ideals: Gotta win ‘em all!"

Matthew Stafford: Secrets

With Matthew Stafford being touted as the possible first pick in this year’s draft, I feel it necessary to provide an in-depth profile of the man. Scouts have been raving about his combination of elite arm strength, great accuracy, and solid leadership skills. Personally, I’m not sold on the guy. He never really seemed to put it all together while at Georgia and play consistently well. This forced me to do a little research since I disagree with the experts on this one.

I was able to discover some interesting things that happened during Stafford’s childhood. He had a live-in male nanny (seen below with Stafford at age 8) who was a father figure to him. He would often go to him for advice and would confide in him. When he was a young boy, Stafford’s nanny persuaded him to take up ballet in favor of football. Stafford’s father was angry and tried to force him into football. There was even a point where a girl joined the team and outplayed Stafford. As we now know, Stafford has taken up football, but it’s possible that every time he goes out there he resents his father for not letting him become a dancer.


Later in his childhood there was another incident of note (another episode if you will) in which Stafford felt extremely guilty for the death of his accordion teacher. He secretly wished her death and the wish came true. So it’s possible that he is still holding on to this guilt.

There was also a report that when he was younger, Stafford overheard his mother mention that he was an unplanned pregnancy and that having him set her career back by ten years. He ran away from home and spent several days working at the local bus depot before finally returning home.

He once produced counterfeit money out of his home.

And, the most disturbing of all episodes in his youth, Stafford was touched inappropriately by a camp counselor. I was able to find video of Stafford blowing the whistle on this guy. To protect his identity they refer to him as “Wesley” and put on logos to promote an 80’s sitcom (not sure why though). See for yourself:


So the way I see it, Stafford has all of the measurables, but he brings a lot of baggage with him. I wouldn’t want a quarterback with all of this guilt, resentment, and mental scarring that Stafford has, but maybe the Lions do.

Changes Coming for St. Louis

I know I'm just a draft correspondent, but I came on across and article that I found interesting (click on the title of the post for the link).

Apparently, the new Rams' coach is going to make the Rams into a tough team. What's next? Turn water into wine?

2009 Weight Loss Challenge / March Celebration

There have rumors for quite awhile about a weight loss challenge going on between participants of this blog. Well I can tell you that it's true. I will not be able to divulge the participants names, as they will remain a secret, but you will see their progress.

Some of you might think this is pathetic or girly. Well I'll have you know it's not girly. Cuz girls wouldn't allow access to their weight loss blogs. So there.

Here were the initial weigh in results done the first week of the year:

Participant A: 223 Lbs.

Participant B:190 Lbs.

The face off: Fat.


















The challenge will culminate in a celebration the Wednesday before the NCAA Tournament begins. We... I mean the competitors will attempt to put all the weight back on in one night by eating and drinking at the Northgate Ram.... NEVERMIND!!! We're gonna set a new date, cuz there's something mildly important that day.

We'd like to invite all of our Mustacheers to join us. The first official meeting of the Mustacheers. So mark it on your calendars boys and girls. Or don't. We don't give a shit.

A-Roid Schmayroid

http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2009/02/10/2009-02-10_15m_lawsuit_claims_exmet_roberto_alomar_.html

I can't come up with anything to say that would do this article justice. So my fellow mustacheers, please enjoy!

Octo-Mom!!!

Anybody else think she looks like Angelina Jolie's unfortunate sister? Plus they both have like, a million kids.

Maynard's thoughts on A-Rod

M's 2009 Closer

Due to the loss of Wille Ballgame he will close while playing Center. And hopefully open his eyes.

A-Roid

Well... he cheated. Poor guy. Had the weight of the world on his shoulders. AND HE ADMITTED IT!

Which means America will forgive him. The worst thing you can be in America is a liar. Or an animal abuser.

Just as long as Griffey stays clean throughout all this, I really don't care. He'll go down as the greatest of our generation. (Edgar staying clean woudl be nice too).

Even More Michael Phelps Fall Out

So USA Swimming has decided to suspend him for 3 months. Here is the big question, What the hell does that mean? Are there some big meets coming up that he wont be able to swim in? My guess is they post a picture of him at the counter of every pool across the country with the heading, Do Not Let This Man Swim

Senior Bowl Defensive Notes

Next up is BJ Raji (DT, Boston College). Todd McShay currently has this guy going to the Hawks in his mock draft. He generated a lot of buzz during the week by looking "unblockable" in practice according to Mike Mayock. I wanted to make notes on him during the game but he was a non-factor. They barely mentioned him and the only play I made any notes on was a goal line play when he was completely washed out of the play. They mentioned the knock on him was consistency. Looked consistently bad to me.

Patrick Chung (S, Oregon) is Mayock's 2nd rated safety and he has better-than-expected coverage skills. It's kind of hard for me to comment on that since I don't have access to all the Jaworski-cams to break down coverage on every play, so I can't be too harsh on safeties and corners. I do know that he made a nice play coming up in run support by shedding a FB-block and making a TD saving tackle at the goal line.

Bruton (S, Notre Dame) sucks. I don't even know his first name. He got beat badly on a deep ball and then they made a point of mentioning that he has terrible hands and can't catch.

The USC linebackers (Rey Maualuga, Brian Cushing, and Clay Matthews) all looked pretty good. Maualuga plays a little out of control but is good at taking on blocks (they must teach that to USC LBs) and laying monster hits on people if he actually gets to them. If he and Brian Russell played on the same team the other 9 guys would be fearing for their life.

Derek Pegues (S, Miss St) returned a kickoff straight into his blockers. Perfect fit for the Hawks. Kickoffs ain’t for fancy running. Follow your blocks regardless of where the hole may be.

Mitch King (DL, Iowa) is a white guy whose measurables don’t jump out at you, but guess what he has that is non-stop?

Offensive Notes

I was told that I should just post it all on the front page anyway. SO here goes, starting with the offense:
The player I was most interested in watching was Michael Oher (T, Ole Miss). I thought that he looked dominant at times during the game and was able to handle Larry English (DE/OLB N. Illinois) on the speed rush. On a short TD run in the 2nd qtr he got low and fired out of his stance, driving his man completely out of the play. He did have some trouble on a couple of spin moves and power rushes where his man got into his body and pushed past him (he held on one of these plays). He seems to have some trouble finding a man to block at the 2nd level.

Brandon Gibson had to sit out the second half of the week and the game due to injury.

Quan Cosby (WR, Texas) was drafted by the Angels a few years back. I thought he looked good in college, but now I think he sucks.

Rhett Bomar (QB, Sam Houston St) is inconsistent on his throws and was too quick too tuck and run. Plus, he got booted out of Oklahoma for having some fake job I think.

And I’ll wrap this up with my thoughts on Graham Harrell (QB, Texas Tech). I have nothing against Harrell, but he can’t make any throws to the outside or down the field. I think he underthrew every ball that wasn’t some slant over the middle. I heard him comment later that his biggest strength was accuracy. I think it’s time you take a good long look in the mirror young man.

Senior Bowl Notes

Everybody's been wondering when I am going to share my findings from the Senior Bowl. Well, the time has come. I have watched the game on my DVR and I am ready to offer up some thoughts. First off, the turnout was a little disappointing due to injuries and a few key players backed out. Also, many of this year's top prospects are underclassmen (Crabtree, Stafford, Sanchez, etc). That being said, there were still some intriguing players out there and Graham Harrell too.

Now, please keep in mind that I am unable to comment on the week of practice (which "experts" would tell you is the most important part of the Senior Bowl). I added NFL Network to my cable lineup the day of the game, so I did not DVR the practice sessions. So what you're getting here are my thoughts on the actual game along with a few notes about what other "experts" mentioned about the practices. I'll post my notes as a comment on this post so as to save space on the front page.

Breaking News: Dave Sims wants Bat Added to Mariner Lineup

Speaking to a close source Mariner Play by Play announcer Dave Sims communicated the need for the Mariners to acquire another power hitter. Not speaking anonymously Sims said, "Mazel tov on the nuptials. Great pix. I look forward to meeting your bride. You are keeping weight too. Good for you. Looking forward to seeing you all on March 1. On another front: I hope we get a bopper for the lineup." Clearly Z will be looking to follow the advice of his important club executives and I can only hope this means Barry Bonds.

On an interesting note, Sims has been the Ms announcer for 2 years now, but lists his Facebook network as New York.

The REAL # 7 scores!

Apparently Zach Gilford (aka Matt Saracen, aka most overlooked actor on televison) is dating ex-Seahawk (cheerleader) legend Amber:

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2009/extramustard/02/04/amber-lancaster-zach-gilford-dating/index.html

I couldn't be prouder.

More Michael Phelps fallout...

I discovered this video online of a distraught little boy... clearly an M-Phelps fan. Poor kid:




I think he speaks for all of us.

TD Celebration

So in all of the craziness surrounding the last few minutes of the Super Bowl something is being overlooked ... Santonio Holmes' stupid celebration. In case you missed it, he mimicked LeBron James' pregame preparation, pretending that the ball was that bottle of chalk, dumping it into his hands and then clapping.

This was a great celebration the first time I saw it, when Nate Burleson did it last year against ... Cleveland. That's the only city it makes sense to do it in because you're making fun of LeBron's pregame ritual (which he stole from KG anyway right?) and riling up the fans. Here's a few instances when it wouldn't make sense:

1. After you've made the biggest catch of your career.
2. After you've just helped your team win the Super Bowl.
3. When you're playing against Arizona in Tampa, Fl.
4. After somebody else already did it, rendering it completely unoriginal.

What an idiot.