12.05.2009

NFL Picks Week 13

Anybody here like football!? No? Really? Nobody here likes football? Wow that's surprising, but ok. Um, well this is gonna be weird then because this whole post is about football, so ....


Morning Games


Philadelphia @ Atlanta

How will the crowd react to the return of Michael Vick? Well I remember a televised town hall meeting in which the folks in Atlanta booed a PETA member for encouraging people to not forget that the dogs were the real victims in the Vick case. So, obviously it's a classy bunch and they'll handle things appropriately. The Falcons are 5-0 at home but they're missing Matt Ryan and probably Michael Turner, so ...

Eagles 27-16


St. Louis @ Chicago

I was planning on just going against Jay Cutler at all times, but he's playing the Rams for God's sake. I'd like to pick no one but I can't do that, I have too much integrity, and you readers care too much for me to pull something like that.

Bears 23-9


Detroit @ Cincinnati

If someone had told me at the beginning of the year that Lions-Bengals would be the most anticipated game of the season I probably would have said they were crazy. Well if someone told me that now I'd still say they were crazy, this game is going to be shitty.

Bengals 28-10


Oakland @ Pittsburgh

We could see a QB match-up of Bruce Gradkowski vs. Dennis Dixon in this one. That's funny enough by itself right? I don't need to write another fabulous joke do I?

Steelers 23-6


Tennessee @ Indianapolis

Probably the most interesting game of the day. If you're a loyal reader of this weekly post (you two know who you are) then you're well aware that I've been backing VY for the last 4 weeks, he's a pretty magical guy. But can I pick him against the Colts? A team that hasn't lost a regular season game since 2003 (sic)? The answer is yes, and you know why? Well I don't know, like I said he's magical, and I can't explain magic and if I tried to I'd get blacklisted.

Titans 22-21


Denver @ Kansas City

So I guess Denver decided to be good again last week? What happened there? No seriously what happened, it was the late game on Thanksgiving and I was pretty hammered and very sleepy so I didn't see much of the game. Anyway, this week Denver will go back to their mission of being the opposite Titans.

Chiefs 20-16


New England @ Miami

So do the Pats come out angry in this one or are they just not that good? Well, I think they're still decent enough, plus the Dolphins let me down last week. I thought I knew what to expect from them, but now I don't know ... I just ... I can't do this anymore.

Patriots 31-27


New Orleans @ Washington

Alright I'm back. New Orleans really looked unstoppable last week, which makes me really want to pick D.C. in this one. I mean the Saints have to lose at some point right? And this is a text book letdown game. But, it's the 'Skins, and they're really bad ... Ya know what, eff it! I'm doing it! Who's gonna stop me? You? Pssh, no, you're not gonna stop me, you're just gonna sit there with that stupid look on your face like you wanna say something but you ain't gonna say shit.

Redskins 23-20


Tampa Bay @ Carolina

Umm, I don't know ... Delhomme sucks ... That's funny right? I found out that Delhomme has the same birthday as me, he's really bringing down the day at this point.

Panthers 21-13


Houston @ Jacksonville

I think we've got our one and only Stinger of the week. Obviously I don't like the idea of moving teams out of cities, but if the Jags are in a playoff race and can't sell out any games they really shouldn't have a team in Jacksonville. Maybe there's something I don't know that's keeping fans away, but this just looks bad at this point. Sidenote, the Jags went ahead and proved that they weren't good last week. I've been saying it for weeks, thanks guys, I seem somewhat legitimate now.

Texans 27-20


Afternoon Games


San Diego @ Cleveland

I really don't even think the Browns like football.

Chargers 34-10


Dallas @ New York Giants

Here's my Wacky Pick of the Week! Smiles Austin gets all of his teeth knocked out rendering him unable to smile for the rest of his life. The nation weeps.

Giants 20-17


San Francisco @ Seattle

Hawks are riding a winning streak and they've got all the momentum in the world. Oh ... they're also playing the Niners, so it looks like another win is in store.

Seahawks 23-16


Sunday Night


Minnesota @ Arizona

This one is tough to pick because it's still unknown if Kurt Warner is going to play. If he plays I like the Cards, if he doesn't I like Jared Allen to literally kill Matt Leinart.

w/ Warner ... Cardinals 31-24 w/o Warner ... Vikings 28-14


Monday Night


Baltimore @ Green Bay

Have the Ravens played a normal Sunday game this year? I think it's been strictly Sunday nights and Mondays for them, I think they even played on a Friday somehow too. Anyway, the Ravens will win because Ray Rice is the best player in the history of the NFL, and great kisser, at least that's what Ray Lewis tells me.

Ravens 24-21




5 comments:

Bobby said...

9ERS!!!!! LETS GO SAN FRANCISCO!!!!! WOOOOOOTTTTT!!!!!!! FOOOOOOTBALLLLLL!!!!! GOLF!!! FOOOOOOOTBALLL!!!!

goose206 said...

Even though I'm starting to dislike football, I'm still going to watch the games as if I still cared. Concerning the Browns-Chargers, SD should play ole Billy Volek against the Browns. Volek needs reps in case Rivers suffers perma-confused/crybaby-face due to one of these concussions. It seems to be spreading...

I'm also rooting for Jared Allen to kill Matt Leinart...but last minute ESPN source says Warner is playing. Can we still have Jared kill Leinart?

Kraxpelax said...

SONNET XXXIX FOR KATIE

I went downtown, saw Katie in the nude
on Common Avenue, detracted soltitude
as it were, like a dream-state rosely hued,
like no one else could see her; DAMN! I phewed;

was reciprokelly then, thank heaven, viewed,
bestowed unique hard-on! but NOT eschewed,
contrair-ee-lee, she took a somewhat rude
'n readidy attude of Sex Prelude; it BREWED!

And for a start, i hiccuped "Hi!", imbued
with Moooood! She toodledooed: "How queued
your awe-full specie-ally-tee, Sir Lewd,
to prove (alas!), to have me finely screwed,

and hopef'lly afterwards beloved, wooed,
alive, huh? Don't you even DO it, Duu-uuude!"

My English Poetry Blog

N'est-que pas que la solitude elle-mème eveille quelque attente fébrile? Voici l'entrée, vide, discrètetement illuminée comme une musée nocturne – la terasse, avec ses torchères ondoyantes par un soir d'Avent étrangement doux – laissant le vestibule et les murmures de voix – la chambre immaculée immaculée et la musique de danse derrière le mur – et le bar à cocktails mondains – le bassin où le nageur s'entrâine, longeur après longeur, il en n'a jamais assez, il doit y mettre de sien – enfin, tournant vers le haut au coin du sombre couloir vient la fille noire et pâle, altière, déterminée et de style épuré, ainsi qu'un moderne avion de chasse suédois.

Poétudes

More...

Exit time. Las chicas dejan el espejo de bar
dormindose en sus corazónes de alta traícion.
El Señor no levanta. Él pastorea a sus pies
los presuntos compradores. Y nos bendice.

My spanish poetry blog

More...

Consider Sex and time, procreation, reincarnation. Trigonometry! I envisage the time axis as the repetitive tangens function. Do you see what I mean? What can be tentatively derived from this notion? Clue: orgasm AND birth pangs at tan 0.

My Philosophy

My Music Blog

My Babe Wallpapers

You are very welcome to promote your blog on mine. They are well frequented, so there's mutual benefit.

- Peter Ingestad, Sweden

Erik said...

All solid points Kraxpelax.

wanamaker said...

Even though I'm starting to dislike football, I'm still going to watch the games as if I still cared. Concerning the Browns-Chargers, SD should play ole Billy Volek against the Browns. Volek needs reps in case Rivers suffers perma-confused/crybaby-face due to one of these concussions. It seems to be spreading...

I'm also rooting for Jared Allen to kill Matt Leinart...but last minute ESPN source says Warner is playing. Can we still have Jared kill Leinart?