I totally nailed that Chargers-Cowboys pick last week.
Dallas @ New Orleans
So Dallas can't win in December, we all know that, but there's something else going against them this week too: New Orleans hasn't lost in any month this season. Even October? Yes ... even October. With these two factors nothing has to give.
New England @ Buffalo
Were the Panthers supposed to be breaking news to us by saying that Randy Moss gives up on plays? Does anybody remember his stint with the Raiders? He gave up on entire seasons. I went 0-14 one year in Fantasy because of this guy. In a related story, it also appears he's given up on shaving.
Arizona @ Detroit
Last week when I claimed that Ray Lewis would murder Matthew Stafford in their game I was unaware that Stafford wouldn't actually be playing. To be fair though, I'm pretty sure the reason he didn't play was that he read my picks and started suspecting that I might be right. Well, I'm not sure if he's supposed to start this week, but if he is, I see a Darnell Dockett choking in his future. (Stafford just decided to sit.)
Miami @ Tennessee
My Wacky Pick of the Week: There will not be a pass attempted in this game. You just watch ...
Cleveland @ Kansas City
I don't have confirmation, but I don't see how this one avoids being a Stinger. There have been a lot of contenders for "Worst Game of the Year," and this one looks pretty pathetic, but nothing can top Cleveland 6 Buffalo 3 from Week 5. I feel like that terrible game has been forgotten about, which is a shame. We must never forget that game, otherwise we learn nothing.
Houston @ St. Louis
Whoa, these Texans are getting good.
Atlanta @ New York Jets
Apparently the Jets have the best scoring defense in the league. Maybe I've unjustly written off the Jets for no reason. Oh wait, I remember the reason, their coach is a fat asshole.
Oakland @ Denver
Brandon Marshall was targeted something like 27 times last week (like I said last week, I'm not doing much research for this thing). That reminds me of someone playing Madden and just throwing to one guy every time because he knows he'll catch it. So my conclusion is that Kyle Orton is a cheap Madden player, which explains the Broncos 6-0 start; he was obviously just re-setting games when they lost.
Cincinnati @ San Diego
Phillip Rivers just doesn't lose games in December, and I know why. We can all agree that Rivers seems like a real asshole, however, when December rolls around it seems like he just shuts his mouth and takes care of business. It's clear to me now that Phillips Rivers still believes in Santa Claus and he's trying to move from the naughty list to the nice list right around this time every year.
San Francisco @ Philadelphia
I heard that Mike Singletary wants the Niners to challenge for a playoff spot, however, they can't because he already burned all their timeouts.
Tampa Bay @ Seattle
Kind of weird to think that this was a Sunday Night game last year. I was happy with the Seahawks last week because they let it be known on the very first play that they wouldn't be winning the game. It really saved me a lot of stress.
Chicago @ Baltimore
I've got nothing ... um ... Cutler sucks?
Green Bay @ Pittsburgh
This is a tough call, in fact, it might come down to the coin toss. After all, whichever quarterback gets the ball first might just hold it for the entire game.
Minnesota @ Carolina
Why could this game not have been flexed? Is it just because they think Favre will get ratings? I counted 3 games that should be better. (Bonus, if you correctly identify which 3 games I was talking about, there's a high five coming your way.)
New York Giants @ Washington
You don't just come in to D.C. and leave with a win ... you also leave with increased confidence because they made you realize how good of a team you can actually be.