3.14.2009

Round 1 Group 2

Here's our group 2 of first round matchups:

5. Mike Cameron












I'll go on record saying he had the most amount of Seattle fans for spending the shortest amount of time as a Mariner. Really fun player to root for. Plus didn't it come out that he drank during games? If so... rad.

VS.

12. Dave Krieg













I put him on here before I saw this picture. But this pic erased any doubts that he belongs.



4. Ray Allen













Smoothest shot I've ever seen. He's more of a cog in the system now, but I always thought he never got the credit he deserved for being one of the best players in the league when he was with the Sonics. I'm talkin' Top 10. Plus he grabbed Rosario's boobs.

VS.

13. Rick Rizzzzzz






How can a picture this small contain a rug that big?


1. Ken Griffey, Jr.













He's .... *sob* ... he's ... (fighting back more tears).... he's back!!!!

VS.

16. Jim McIlvaine













Yep.


8. Lenny Wilkens













I guess he was a great Sonic. Before my time.

VS.













Sooooo close to a ring.


6. Cortez Kennedy









The most dominant Seattle defensive player ever (w/ apologies to Gary Payton).

VS.

11. The Squatch











Rumor has it, he still patrols the rafters at the vacant Key, repelling down to eat rats and other vermin for sustenance. His cries of pain and anguish pollute the Seattle nights. (another rumor has him selling out to become the the Bison for that dipshit team near Texas.)


3. Felix Hernandez














Bow down to the King. There was some chatter that the King Felix seed was too high. talk to me after the season. His time is upon us. All hail the king. (listen to Motorhead when you're reading this).

VS.

14. The Dancing Grounds Crew









I laughed the first time I saw these guys. Now I just cry.


7. Lofa Tatupu













Future Hall of Famer. I sense a bounce back year for him.

VS.

Freddy Garcia and Carlos Guillen














Randy Johnson netted us these two dudes (and John "I don't like baseball" Halama). They showed some promise, but their buddy in the middle up there may have had something to do with their demise in Seattle. We traded em both. Carlos has been an All-star since and Freddy dominated in the playoffs for Chicago as they won a World Series. OOPS. OOPS.

PS I could be wrong but without looking I believe the guys we got for Randy Johnson got us Ben Davis, Miguel Olivo, Mike Morse, and Ramon Vasquez. Hmmm.


2. Steve Largent













What can I say? He's a Hall of Famer. Seattle's only Hall of Famer, right? Anybody help me out there? Plus I once stood next to him in line for Splash Mountain. So the dude clearly has great taste in theme park attractions.

VS.

15. Steve Scheffler














Pros: In the glory days when Payton and Kemp had the Sonics in cruise control, the crowd would literally chant his name until he rose off the bench and they erupted. One of my favorite Sonics memories was Karl sticking him in an NBC televised game in the first few minutes to guard Barkley. Karl didn't like the team's intensity. Steve definitely brought that.

Cons: I heard he makes kids quote him Bible verses before signing autographs. Dude?

Anyway... vote away!

Seattle Sports March Madness, Round 1 Group 1, Results?

THIS IS WHAT SEATTLE SPORTS MARCH MADNESS IS ALL ABOUT!!!!

First our final results of round 1:

Walter Jones destroys Carlos Silva 29 - 0

Trufant gets past Reynolds 17-12

Detlef beats X-man 17-12

Kemp destroys Ayala 29-0

Sue Bird with the classic 5 seed -12 seed upset over Booney 17-13

AD takes care of Rick Mirer 25 - 6

and Calabro crushes D-Mas 28 - 1

That brings us to our first OVERTIME battle.

Durant and Watters were tied at 15.

So.... (and this will probably change depending on the schedule if there are any more ties)

We're gonna leave the voting open on this poll through Sunday Night @ 5:00PM (hahaha, but those who've voted already are probably the only ones reading. So call your friends and influence them, haha.)

Vote on your right!











VS.

3.13.2009

"Angels" in the Outfield Uncovered as Steroid Users

In a new book, "The Syringe Had Wings" by former broadcaster Ranch Wilder, the "miracle" Angels team from years ago that was believed to have "supernatural" powers is revealed as a team full of steroid users.

read more | digg story

3.12.2009

Seattle March Madness: Group 1

First group matchups... remember to vote on the right over there. Voting will be roughly 24 hours.

1. Walter Jones












Walter is a giant bad-ass.


VS.

16. Carlos Silva










Carlos Silva is a giant fat ass. (and apparently hangs out with incompetent Gms)


8. Harold Reynolds













VS

9. Marcus Trufant













The Truf is a great jersey to own.

7. Xavier McDaniel













Came to the Save Our Sonics Rally and was in Singles. Also was a bad ass.

VS.

10. Detlef Schrempf













Great Sonic. Lame Husky.

2. Shawn Kemp

I'm not playing favorites... but check this shit out:




VS.

15. Bobby Ayala










Mr. Ayala taught us all at a young age how important a good closer was.

5. Bret Boone













It's tough to tell from this still picture... but damnit he swung hard.

VS.

12. Sue Bird













Sexiest contestant... even WITH Sweet Lou in the mix.


4. Alvin Davis













I remember Alvin's last game as a Mariner. I was in a luxury box. That is all.

VS.

13. Rick Mirer




















^^^ ... It wasn't.

6. Kevin Durant













Some complaints about him being in and this high. Well... eliminate him if you want... but he was the shit when he played basketball.

VS.

11. Ricky Watters







That Superbowl ring he's proudly displaying? Yeah, that's not from his time with the Hawks.


3. Kevin Calabro












Quite simply: The best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be.

VS.

14. Desmond Mason













D-Mas brought a dunk title to the Supes. It's the closest thing to a championship that this city has seen in over in almost 30 years. For that alone he makes it.

Lots of Posts in March...

So remember to check the side bar if you missed any of these steaming piles of shit I keep posting.... on the other hand if anyone missed Erik's latest (skipped over in the Seattle March Madness outrage)... it's a doozy:

http://www.henrycottosmustache.com/2009/03/new-book-accuses-miracle-team-of-ped.html

Ex-Mariner Game Continued

Not sure if people wanted to keep this going or not, but it got a lot of comments last time so here it is again...

Ex-Mariner Game... play however you want, or for extra difficulty points, try using the first letter of the last name to start the first letter of the next Mariner's first name. That make sense?

Here's an alphabetized list of everyone we used already. You can also do a CTRL+F and search to make sure they haven't been used yet.

Any fond memories about the players? Post away!

Thanks... here's the list so far:

AaronHeilman
Aaron Sele
Adam Jones
Alvin Davis
Ben Davis
Bill Risley
Billy Swift
Bob Wolcott
Bobby Ayala
Bret Boone
Brett Tomko
Bucky Jacobsen
Butch Huskey
Carl Everett
carlos guillen
Chad Meyers
Charles Gipson
Chris Bosio
Chris Snelling
Chris Widger
DannyTartabull
Darnell Coles
Dave Fleming
dave henderson
Dave Magadan
Doug Strange
Edgar Martinez
Erik Hanson
Freddy Garcia
Gaylord Perry
Gerald Perry
Glenallen Hill
Greg Briley
Greg Dobbs
Harold Reynolds
Heathcliff Slocum
Henry Cotto
Hiram Bocachica
Horacio Ramirez
Jamie Moyer
Jay Buhner
jeff nelson
Jim Presley
JJ Putz
John Halama
jose cruz jr
Jose Guillen
Julio Cruz
Kevin Mitchell
Mac Suzuki
mark langston
Mark Mclemore
Matt Thornton.
Matt Young
Miguel Cairo
Miguel Olivio
mike blowers
Mike Cameron
Mike Jackson
Omar Vizquel
Pat Borders
Paul Abbott
Paul Sorrento
Paul Spoljaric
Pete O'Brien
Phil Bradley
Quinn Mack
Randy Johnson
Rey Quinonez.
Rich Amaral
Richie Sexon
Ryan Franklin
Scott Bankhead
Scott Bradley
Scott Podsednik.
Scott Spiezio
Shane Monahan
Shigitoshi Hasagawa
Shin-soo Choo
Spike Owen
STAN JAVIER
Steve Trout
terry mulholland
Tim Belcher
Tino Martinez
Tom Lampkin
Vince Coleman
Willie Bloomqist

3.11.2009

Seattle March Madness 2009

The much anticipated...

SEATTLE MARCH MADNESS 2009!!!!

Here is th
e bracket. Sorry the pictures blow... I'll get better for the individual matchups.

Here are the four regional brackets:

The Tuba Man Brackett:

























The Henry Cotto Bracket (otherwise we know he'd win):
























The Scott Kaloper Bracket:
























The Radio Personality Jason Puckett (RPJP) Bracket:























There you have it. I'm sure you all have your thoughts. Go ahead. Let's hear 'em. Matchups will begin tomorrow evening hopefully.

New Book Accuses "Miracle" Team of PED Use


ANAHEIM, LOS ANGELES, CA - "It’s time the truth came out." Ranch Wilder, former Angels broadcaster said Wednesday. Wilder’s new book "The Syringe Had Wings," which hits shelves next Tuesday is said to "blow the lid" on the miraculous Angels team that made an inspirational run to the pennant years ago. In his book, Wilder makes bold claims of rampant steroid use throughout the Angels clubhouse. "You don’t even have to look at the numbers," explained Wilder, "Just watch some of the game film. I mean what about that catch that (Ben) Williams made where he leapt about 12 feet in the air. Or how about in that very same game where (former Angels catcher, Triscuitt) Mesmer shattered his bat and still hit a home run. You’re gonna tell me these things are natural?"

No one is safe in Wilder’s scathing crusade, including beloved pitcher Mel Clark. "Clark was the most obvious case." Said Wilder, "You tell me how a 45 year-old pitcher who had been steadily declining for the last 5 seasons all of a sudden starts throwing like he’s Steve Nebraska."
Wilder’s book uncovers an intricate delivery system of the PEDs, which were referred to under the code name of "Angels." According to Wilder, the "angels" were provided by a local woman named Maggie Nelson who used an abandoned children’s halfway house as a front for a sophisticated drug ring. As if this wasn’t shocking enough, Wilder goes on to report that the steroids were delivered to the ballpark by the orphaned children themselves. The most frequent delivery person was a young boy named Roger who later confessed that the only reason he participated was because Nelson told him his father would take him back if the Angels won the pennant. Roger became such a regular guest of the team that he was even given front-row seats near the dugout so that he could more easily drop-off the banned substances. "Maggie Nelson is a sick individual who shamelessly involved children in her twisted drug empire," expounded Wilder, "She is really a despicable human being."

Wilder reports that the treachery didn’t stop with performance-enhancing drugs, claiming that the Angels resorted to other underhanded tactics such as drugging the opposition. Wilder claims that visiting teams’ food would be doped with mild tranquilizers, thus altering their play in a negative manner. "How else do you explain the Oakland A’s making 19 errors on one play?" Asked Wilder, in reference to an infield hit that resulted in an inside-the-park home run for soft-hitting utility man Danny Hemmerling.

When approached for comment, former Angels manager George Knox only said, "I’m not here to talk about the past. Besides, I’m not being honest with myself right now, so how do you expect me to be honest with you?"

March Madness / Mariners Baseball / HCM

We've got some exciting posts for the month's of March and April (and by we I mean me)... real cutting edge shit. So be on the lookout!

Also...

If anyone is gonna be up for watching the tourney games next Thursday and Friday, me and my broseph are taking the days off so we'll be livin' it up and um, watching the games! You're all invited!!!! If we actually know you. If you want to be a part of that just contact us.

Finally...

Tonight: The first look at Seattle Sports March Madness. The Bracket will be revealed. The premise: a 64 man (woman) tourney to determine the greatest of the great Seattle Sports figures. If you'd like to see someone included let me know here. The bracket is done, but I could make some changes I'm sure.

Be well.

3.09.2009

Star-Studded Watchmen Screening

I went to see Watchmen in IMAX at my local cineplex earlier today. Joining me in the theater was Clippers super-player Chris Kaman. This marks the second time I've gone to the same movie as a gawky, white big-man. The first being a 2005 showing of The Ice Harvest at the Alderwood 16 that was attended by myself and Nick Collison. I gotta say I was way more excited for Collison. I mean, Kaman was wearing basketball shorts and a t-shirt. Pretty classless. Maybe he was worried that people wouldn't know that the 6'11" guy sitting in the handicapped row so that he can actually fit in a seat was a basketball player.






The real highlight, however, was when Rosario Dawson showed up.



She still stunk of Shuttlesworth.


Aron Baynes got screwed and at the very least should have gotten All Pac-10 Honorable Mention

Has Roeland Schaftenaar ever done this:



Shame on you ESPN

I just was checking ESPN.com (one of our fledgling competitors) and saw that they have the Thunder listed as one of my teams that I follow. BOO

3.06.2009

Put on Your Red Shoes...

Let's Dance!
With their win today over Penn, paired with the loss by Princeton, Cornell has clinched the Ivy League title and become the first team to officially qualify for the tourney. This makes them the early favorite to win it all.

Keith, I'll meet you in Detroit.

3.05.2009

March Madness

Let's all get crazy this March.

Join the official HCM March Madness pool. The winner will get one post of their own.

http://tournament.fantasysports.yahoo.com/t1

Group Name: HCM

Password: HCM

Group ID #27763

CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!

Necessary Roughness

Why would the University of Kansas allow it's school to be used in this movie?

3.03.2009

Tony Gwynn: "He was throwing good..."

Over at the Hot Stone League, my boy Larry checks in with the boy who probably got away. We all remember that M's sweep of the A's that cost us Strasburg. Well it looks like he is off to a nice start to the season with San Diego State. In his last start he went 6 2/3 innings and had 16 Ks, hitting 102 MPH 7 times.

2.26.2009

Inside Lorenzo Romar's Playbook

Many have wondered what it is that makes Coach Romar such an awesome coach. I had the luxury of tracking him down after his 3 point OT victory over ASU(despite the 4 point spread but we wont get into that). After each timeout, missed basket, or made basket, he seemed to be calling the same thing over and over again. I present to you how to break down ASU's zone D:

FLASH



Unfortunatley my paint.net skills will not allow me to replicate off balance prayers that dont come close to hitting the basket, let alone going in.

2.24.2009

Combine: Defense

Monday was the first day at the Combine for the defense. DL and LBs went through the drills. In the interest of keeping the ex-Mariner Game near the top of the page, I will post my notes as a comment to this post. So, click through to read more.

2.23.2009

Ex-Mariner Game

If you're cool you've already been playing this when you get drunk with amigos.

I'd really be happy if this got all sorts of neato comments.

HCM Rules:

1 - Name an Ex-Mariner that hasn't been listed already.
2 - One post per user per day

I'll get things started with the man... the myth... the legend... the grower of the world's greatest mustache...


HENRY COTTO!!!

2009 Combine: Offense

Three days of position drills have been completed at the 2009 Combine. With just the defensive backs left, it is time for a brief recap of the offensive positions and some things that stuck out over the past couple days (defensive recap will be posted tomorrow).

Saturday (OL and TE)
Obviously, the big story of the day was Andre Smith’s departure. He and his agent mishandled the situation and failed to inform the appropriate people. The guys on NFL Network seem to be split on how much this effect his stock. He will probably still go Top 10.

Jason Smith and Eugene Monroe both looked good in the drills on Saturday. Monroe put up disappointing bench press numbers, but that was the only knock on him. He looks to be the more complete and polished player of the two. Smith is a converted TE who is still learning the position and developing. The thought is that he has more potential than Monroe.

Michael Oher looked a bit stiff in some of the drills, but still pretty good. William Beatty (UConn) put up some good numbers and might be a tackle that sneaks into the first round if a run on tackles happens similar to last year. Jamon Meredith (So Car) looked like the most athletic tackle out there.

With Alex Mack not participating, the two top centers were Max Unger (Oregon) and Eric Wood (Louisville). They both looked impressive. I still think Mack is the #1, but there probably won’t be much separation between the three.

I won’t spend too much time on the Tight Ends, because I figure it’s one of the only positions the Hawks are set at. Brandon Pettigrew did nothing to hurt his status as the #1 TE. His 40 time was slow, but people weren’t expecting it to be much better. Jared Cook (So Car) looked like the best athlete out there, but not much of a blocker (according to Mike Mayock). Shawn Nelson (So Miss) also showed his athleticism, but is apparently a “willing blocker” and can be taught better techniques.

Sunday (WR, RB, QB)
The big news for this group was the Crabtree foot injury. The receivers who actually participated put up some good numbers. Maclin ran a 4.46, which is good but not as fast as I thought he would be. He landed a little funny during one of the drills and is having an MRI done on his knee. It’s not expected to be too serious.

The fastest 40 time was run by Darrius Heyward-Bey (4.3). This should cement him in the first round. Percy Harvin ran 4.41, but scouts wanted to see him take part in route-running drills, which he did not do. There is still some concern as to how he can be used in NFL schemes. Mike Wallace (Ole Miss) and Mike Thomas (Arizona) both looked good and ran well.

The receiver I was most impressed by was Brian Robiskie (Ohio State). He is almost 6’3” and weighed in at 209lbs. He ran a 4.51, looked good in all the drills, and caught everything thrown to him. Most impressive: he is a gifted athlete who is also a student of the game. Hopefully he would be there for the Hawks in the 2nd round if they pass on Crabtree.

NFL Network’s coverage of the RB drills was a bit weak, or maybe I somehow missed half of it. Beanie Wells ran a 4.57 and looked really uncomfortable doing so. He also took about six attempts to land his broad jump. And before each jump he would wag his arms back and forth for like 30 seconds. Very annoying. I would move him down my draft board just for wasting time. Moreno ran a 4.63. Mayock’s concern is if he can run away from people. Marshall Faulk added that he can run that time for 4 quarters, so even though it’s not too fast, he doesn’t wear down as the game goes on. Bernard Scott from Abilene Christian has attended 4 schools and been arrested 5 times. He would be a big reach for the Bengals at #6, but they’ll probably take him in the 4th or 5th round.

Stafford decided not to throw at the Combine, but Sanchez did. He looked fine on the limited number of throws I saw. If anything, I like him more now because he threw. It’s lame that Stafford didn’t.

I was pretty impressed by Pat White. He made some very nice throws (“a catchable ball”) and ran a 4.49. He did not go through the receiver drills here, but will at his pro day. If he can show the ability to play the receiver position, I would think he’d jump up many teams’ draft boards. He could factor into a team’s wildcat formation. Wildcat.

Check back tomorrow for notes on the defensive players.

WSU QB Suspended

http://www.kxly.com/Global/story.asp?S=9890166&nav=menu683_5

We knew he wasnt strong enough to carry the entire team on his shoulders, but it looks like he was kinda strong.

2.22.2009

2009 Academy Awardards, a complete travesty.

I'm watching the Oscars right now... apparently I didn't pay enough attention to the nominees but...


DELGO WAS SHUTOUT!!!!!!

What the FRACK?!?!?

2.20.2009

Let's Mock

With the Scouting Combine upon us, and position drills beginning tomorrow, I feel like it is an appropriate time to unveil my initial 2009 Mock Draft. This will definitely change over the next two months, but this is how it might play out based on my findings and what I hear from my sources.

1. Detroit Lions - Matthew Stafford (QB, Georgia)
I don’t think they should take him. He has bust written all over him. Not many underclassmen QBs seem to succeed. Plus, he won’t have much talent around him for a couple of years. I would take one of the top LTs or trade down (not likely). They shouldn't worry too much about blowing this pick since they'll get another chance in a year.

2. St. Louis Rams – Eugene Monroe (T, Virginia)
The Rams should go with an OT at #2. For some reason I feel like Eugene Monroe will end up being the #1 after it’s all said and done. Guys from Virginia seem to rise leading up to the draft. It seems like UVa has a guy in the Top 5 every year, but they’re always a mediocre team. Al Groh must be a sucky coach.

3. KC Chiefs – Aaron Curry (LB, Wake Forest)
Chiefs could upgrade at almost any position. They’re switching to a 3-4 defense, so they might as well get a LB. People say Curry is the safest pick in the draft, which would be better than gambling on Mark Sanchez. Plus, Steve DeBerg isn’t that bad of a QB. He’s a good game manager and they can win some close games with Curry, Dorsey, and Derrick Johnson anchoring the defense for years to come.

4. Seattle Seahawks – Michael Crabtree (WR, Texas Tech)
At first I didn’t want the Hawks to take Crabtree, but I am coming around on the idea. I don’t think the receiving corps is quite as bad as the national media does, but it does need to be improved (especially if Engram is not back). Now, he’s not 100% yet, so he won’t run at the Combine, but he is training with Michael Johnson (so he’ll be the fastest man alive once he is healthy). Other possibility is BJ Raji (DT, Boston College). I wouldn’t be too opposed to that pick. But it's always a little iffy when a guy’s stock leaps up during the postseason. I don’t think anyone would have had him this high until he wowed the scouts at Senior Bowl practices. That scares me.

5. Cleveland Browns – Everrette Brown (DE/OLB, FSU)
Cleveland needs to improve their pass rush. Their sack totals last year were pathetic. Eric Mangini looks like an idiot for taking Vernon Gohlston last year, so now he’s going to try and right his wrong with his new team. And yes, I am assuming that fat joke has 100% authority over the team’s draft.

6. Cincinnati Bengals – BJ Raji (DT, Boston College)
They could go with an OT since they desperately need one, but they also need some playmakers on the DL. I think they’ll consider Raji a better value (cuz they’re idiots).

7. Oakland Raiders – Jeremy Maclin (WR, Missouri)
Assuming he runs his 40 as fast I think he will, Al Davis will point to Maclin’s picture on draft day.

8. Jacksonville Jaguars – Jason Smith (T, Baylor)
The Jaguars would love to get someone to replace the homeless man that Khalif Barnes paid to impersonate him last year.

9. Green Bay Packers – Andre Smith (T, Alabama)
I feel like Smith's stock will continue to drop. Most mocks have Green Bay going with a CB, such as Malcolm Jenkins. In mine, they are able to get one of the top 3 tackles (better value) because the Bengals, as mentioned previously, are idiots.

10. San Francisco 49ers – Brian Orakpo (DE, Texas)
I thought about having them take Mark Sanchez just so I could feel better about playing them next year, but they should take Orakpo. I could see them going OL or WR if one of the top guys fell to them. I think they’ll take Orakpo here if he can show the ability to line up at both DE and OLB. His performance at the Combine should prove that.

11. Buffalo Bills – Aaron Maybin (DE/OLB, Penn State)
Could go with Brandon Pettigrew (TE, Okla St), but I think they can get a TE in the 2nd round and use this pick to improve their pass rush.

12. Denver Broncos – Rey Maualuga (ILB, USC)
Denver needs to improve their run defense. He can fill the gaps, take on blockers, and lay the wood better than anyone else in the draft. I’m not going to elaborate on the Broncos’ needs unless a certain someone makes his return to the Stache.

13. Washington Redskins – Michael Oher (T, Ole Miss)
This could be a bit of a reach, but I really like Oher and the Redskins need help on the line.

14. New Orleans Saints – Malcolm Jenkins (CB, Ohio State)
The Saints would likely make this pick based on value alone. Probably will not last this long.

15. Houston Texans – Brian Cushing (OLB, USC)
I actually think Cushing could be the Combine MVP who blows it up and then leaps up into the Top 10.

16. San Diego Chargers – Beanie Wells (RB, Ohio State)
With Sanchez still on the board, the Chargers might be able to find some trade partners who want to get ahead of the Jets. Possibly the Vikings, Bucs, or Lions if they go with someone other than Stafford at #1. Wells makes sense here if they get rid of one of their other backs.

17. New York Jets – Mark Sanchez (QB, USC)
The Jets will gladly take Sanchez and he will go on to be their QB of the future until they realize he’s not ready to start in the NFL. I wonder if the Jets fans at the Draft would boo this pick?

18. Chicago Bears – Tyson Jackson (DE, LSU)
Um, I got nothing

19. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Vontae Davis (CB, Illinois)
I don’t think they’ll reach for Josh Freeman (QB, Kansas State). They should go with a solid CB prospect who can replace Ronde Barber when he decides to do television.

20. Detroit Lions – James Laurinaitis (ILB, Ohio State)
He could act as the anchor of their defense for the next 10 years. Interesting note: his father was The Animal from Legion of Doom fame.

21. Philadelphia Eagles – Knowshon Moreno (RB, Georgia)
A nice compliment to Brian Westbrook. I would love for the Hawks to somehow get their hands on Moreno. I think he’s going to be one of the best players to come out of this draft. Plus, his touchdown against Florida two years ago set off one of the greatest TD dances of all-time.

22. Minnesota Vikings – Eben Britton (T, Arizona)
This would be a reach based on their need for help on the O-line. They might be interested in Freeman here.

23. New England Patriots – Larry English (DE/OLB, No. Illinois)
If English can prove that he can play standing up he’ll be a good pick to improve the Pats pass rush.

24. Atlanta Falcons – Brandon Pettigrew (TE, Oklahoma State)
They would probably like to get a DE or DT here, but the best value would be Pettigrew who would also fill a need. Maybe they can get the line help next year when they’re picking much higher.

25. Miami Dolphins – Hakeem Nicks (WR, North Carolina)
Percy Harvin might be rated higher, but Ted Ginn Jr is already there as a WR/KR. Nicks is slowing getting more attention especially after his highlight reel catches in UNC’s bowl game.

26. Baltimore Ravens – DJ Moore (CB, Vanderbilt)
The Ravens have limited depth at cornerback and they just released McAllister (I think). Although Alphonso Smith (CB, Wake Forest) might be a more likely pick because of his ball skills and play-making ability.

27. Indianapolis Colts – Peria Jerry (DT, Ole Miss)
The Colts need help at the position and Jerry seems to be moving up people’s boards.

28. Philadelphia Eagles – Darrius Heyward-Bey (WR, Maryland)
They would like to add an OT, but there’s not one worth this pick. They might reach for Beatty (UConn) or Meredith (S Carolina), but I think they’ll try and trade down. If not, I guess Heyward-Bey makes sense because he would be another young receiver to help the passing game. If Andy Reid has his way he’ll probably select a pepperoni pizza. HAHAHAAHAHAHA!!

29. New York Giants – Clint Stintim (OLB, Virginia)
I think the Giants could use help at this position. The real reason I have them taking Stintim is because I know nothing about him and didn’t want to give the Giants a cool player. If there are any draft-eligible players currently sleeping with anyone in Coughlin’s family then that will be the obvious pick (see Chris Snee, 2004).

30. Tennessee Titans – Percy Harvin (WR, Florida)
Name a receiver on Tennessee’s roster. Nope, he’s not there anymore. Plus, he only played for the Oilers, not the Titans (I’m assuming you all said Haywood Jeffries). Harvin might go much sooner than this.

31. Arizona Cardinals – LeSean McCoy (RB, Pitt)
It seems like every mock draft has this pick, so I just went with it. McCoy has lost weight recently after contracting the flu. I think he read the same mocks as me and became physically ill with the idea of playing for Arizona.

32. Pittsburgh Steelers – Some Cheater (WR/QB, Lucky State)
Actually they’ll probably take Alex Mack, but only if Clarissa Darling is off the board.

This would leave some interesting possibilities for the Seahawks early in the 2nd round. I left Clay Matthews (LB, USC) out of the first round, but he might go in the Top 20. My choice would be Alphonso Smith, but he is another guy who will probably end up in the first round. There are still the top safeties and some quality OTs. One other possibility would be Josh Freeman. That’s what I have for now. Check in on Monday and Tuesday for Combine notes.

The Blunder....

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!

This guy on Yahoo! Sports already did a good job reporting this, but I had to link to it:

http://sports.yahoo.com/nba/blog/ball_dont_lie/post/Introducing-the-Thunder-s-new-mascot-Rumble;_ylt=AiLv3JtnoDv8HGFtwML7WMCezIx4?urn=nba,142251

The new Thunder mascot.... he misses all his dunks. HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA

This kills me!

HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Fuck you OKC.

2.19.2009

Jim Caple Copied Me

At least with his first paragraph. He even used the same picture.

Extremely Informative Sports Radio Chat

Driving into work this morning Groz, subbing for Mitch so I actually listened, was previewing the UW at UCLA game. He was chatting with the "Voice of the Bruins" Chris Roberts. The two of them were discussing why the Dawgs have such a hard time winning at Pauley Pavilion. Groz said somthing along the lines of there is no reason, everyone in LA is so laid back, they just sit on their hands. Mr Bruin replied with something along the lines of "well old friend, it must have been a while since you have been down here. Howland has convinced some students to wear blue shirts." Groz replied, "youre right I need to come down there and see some games with their new coach. It's probably just the history of the building, Ill give you that." To which Roberts replied, it is pretty imposing to see 11 national championship banner hanging from the rafters. Thinking about the people who have played on that court. Lew Alcindor, Kareem Abdul-Jabaar, Bill Walton, and Ed O'Bannon." I cant wait to stand around the water cooler today and spout off all my new found knowledge.

2.16.2009

Mariners Re-Sign Entire 1995 Team

PEORIA, AZ – In an attempt to lure former Mariners superstar Ken Griffey Jr. back to the club, first-year General Manager Jack Zduriencik has re-signed every other player from the historic 1995 team. "The magic is back!" said Zduriencik on Monday, "Speedy Joey Cora, Randy "The Big Man" Johnson, Jay "Bonesaw" Buhner, and the rest of the great players you knew and loved will all be back in Mariners uniforms come opening day." Zduriencik, while admittedly unfamiliar with the players, was still very enthusiastic about the impending reunion and the turn around it could trigger for the organization. "All I know is that these guys saved baseball in this town once, and now they’re going to revive it, or my name isn’t Jack Zaderrrunnn-chickk …."

The series of moves comes as a surprise to many in the organization, including some of the more high-priced talent, such as 3rd baseman Adrian Beltre, who is entering the final year of his contract. "Beltre? Fuck him." Zduriencik responded. "Give me Mike Bowers any day of the week. I mean, just look at Beltre’s numbers last time he was in a contract year … Holy shit! 48 homers! … Um, whatever, Bowers will jack 50." When reached for comment Blowers responded in a whiny monotone, "Hmm, that seems a little unrealistic. And my name is Blowers. That being said, it should be fun to play again, I’m very very thrilled."

The team, as of right now is an exact mirror of the opening day roster from 1995, minus Griffey, of course. This leads some to believe that midseason moves will be made. Especially weary is former pitching prospect Jim Converse who was traded at the ’95 deadline for speedster Vince Coleman. "I can’t help but feel like I might not be here the whole season," said Converse. When approached with these comments Zduriencik responded, "Converse has an attitude problem, eh? Well I’m not afraid to ship out a bad seed, even one with as much promise as a Jim Converse." Converse played his last major league game in 1997, ending a 5-year career.

As odd and downright foolish as the move may seem to most, Zduriencik remains optimistic. "If you ask me, this team, with Griffey, might not lose a game. In fact, with the heart that this squad has, they’ll probably refuse to drop any to the opposition. I’ve even come up with a slogan that encompasses these ideals: Gotta win ‘em all!"

2.15.2009

Matthew Stafford: Secrets


With Matthew Stafford being touted as the possible first pick in this year’s draft, I feel it necessary to provide an in-depth profile of the man. Scouts have been raving about his combination of elite arm strength, great accuracy, and solid leadership skills. Personally, I’m not sold on the guy. He never really seemed to put it all together while at Georgia and play consistently well. This forced me to do a little research since I disagree with the experts on this one.

I was able to discover some interesting things that happened during Stafford’s childhood. He had a live-in male nanny (seen below with Stafford at age 8) who was a father figure to him. He would often go to him for advice and would confide in him. When he was a young boy, Stafford’s nanny persuaded him to take up ballet in favor of football. Stafford’s father was angry and tried to force him into football. There was even a point where a girl joined the team and outplayed Stafford. As we now know, Stafford has taken up football, but it’s possible that every time he goes out there he resents his father for not letting him become a dancer.


Later in his childhood there was another incident of note (another episode if you will) in which Stafford felt extremely guilty for the death of his accordion teacher. He secretly wished her death and the wish came true. So it’s possible that he is still holding on to this guilt.

There was also a report that when he was younger, Stafford overheard his mother mention that he was an unplanned pregnancy and that having him set her career back by ten years. He ran away from home and spent several days working at the local bus depot before finally returning home.

He once produced counterfeit money out of his home.

And, the most disturbing of all episodes in his youth, Stafford was touched inappropriately by a camp counselor. I was able to find video of Stafford blowing the whistle on this guy. To protect his identity they refer to him as “Wesley” and put on logos to promote an 80’s sitcom (not sure why though). See for yourself:


So the way I see it, Stafford has all of the measurables, but he brings a lot of baggage with him. I wouldn’t want a quarterback with all of this guilt, resentment, and mental scarring that Stafford has, but maybe the Lions do.

2.14.2009

Changes Coming for St. Louis

I know I'm just a draft correspondent, but I came on across and article that I found interesting (click on the title of the post for the link).

Apparently, the new Rams' coach is going to make the Rams into a tough team. What's next? Turn water into wine?

2.11.2009

2009 Weight Loss Challenge / March Celebration

There have rumors for quite awhile about a weight loss challenge going on between participants of this blog. Well I can tell you that it's true. I will not be able to divulge the participants names, as they will remain a secret, but you will see their progress.

Some of you might think this is pathetic or girly. Well I'll have you know it's not girly. Cuz girls wouldn't allow access to their weight loss blogs. So there.

Here were the initial weigh in results done the first week of the year:

Participant A: 223 Lbs.



















Participant B:190 Lbs.




















The face off: Fat.


















The challenge will culminate in a celebration the Wednesday before the NCAA Tournament begins. We... I mean the competitors will attempt to put all the weight back on in one night by eating and drinking at the Northgate Ram.... NEVERMIND!!! We're gonna set a new date, cuz there's something mildly important that day.

We'd like to invite all of our Mustacheers to join us. The first official meeting of the Mustacheers. So mark it on your calendars boys and girls. Or don't. We don't give a shit.

A-Roid Schmayroid

http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2009/02/10/2009-02-10_15m_lawsuit_claims_exmet_roberto_alomar_.html

I can't come up with anything to say that would do this article justice. So my fellow mustacheers, please enjoy!

Octo-Mom!!!


Anybody else think she looks like Angelina Jolie's unfortunate sister? Plus they both have like, a million kids.

2.09.2009

Maynard's thoughts on A-Rod

Add Video

M's 2009 Closer



Due to the loss of Wille Ballgame he will close while playing Center. And hopefully open his eyes.

A-Roid

Well... he cheated. Poor guy. Had the weight of the world on his shoulders. AND HE ADMITTED IT!

Which means America will forgive him. The worst thing you can be in America is a liar. Or an animal abuser.

Just as long as Griffey stays clean throughout all this, I really don't care. He'll go down as the greatest of our generation. (Edgar staying clean woudl be nice too).

2.05.2009

Even More Michael Phelps Fall Out

So USA Swimming has decided to suspend him for 3 months. Here is the big question, What the hell does that mean? Are there some big meets coming up that he wont be able to swim in? My guess is they post a picture of him at the counter of every pool across the country with the heading, Do Not Let This Man Swim

Senior Bowl Defensive Notes

Next up is BJ Raji (DT, Boston College). Todd McShay currently has this guy going to the Hawks in his mock draft. He generated a lot of buzz during the week by looking "unblockable" in practice according to Mike Mayock. I wanted to make notes on him during the game but he was a non-factor. They barely mentioned him and the only play I made any notes on was a goal line play when he was completely washed out of the play. They mentioned the knock on him was consistency. Looked consistently bad to me.

Patrick Chung (S, Oregon) is Mayock's 2nd rated safety and he has better-than-expected coverage skills. It's kind of hard for me to comment on that since I don't have access to all the Jaworski-cams to break down coverage on every play, so I can't be too harsh on safeties and corners. I do know that he made a nice play coming up in run support by shedding a FB-block and making a TD saving tackle at the goal line.

Bruton (S, Notre Dame) sucks. I don't even know his first name. He got beat badly on a deep ball and then they made a point of mentioning that he has terrible hands and can't catch.

The USC linebackers (Rey Maualuga, Brian Cushing, and Clay Matthews) all looked pretty good. Maualuga plays a little out of control but is good at taking on blocks (they must teach that to USC LBs) and laying monster hits on people if he actually gets to them. If he and Brian Russell played on the same team the other 9 guys would be fearing for their life.

Derek Pegues (S, Miss St) returned a kickoff straight into his blockers. Perfect fit for the Hawks. Kickoffs ain’t for fancy running. Follow your blocks regardless of where the hole may be.

Mitch King (DL, Iowa) is a white guy whose measurables don’t jump out at you, but guess what he has that is non-stop?

Offensive Notes

I was told that I should just post it all on the front page anyway. SO here goes, starting with the offense:
The player I was most interested in watching was Michael Oher (T, Ole Miss). I thought that he looked dominant at times during the game and was able to handle Larry English (DE/OLB N. Illinois) on the speed rush. On a short TD run in the 2nd qtr he got low and fired out of his stance, driving his man completely out of the play. He did have some trouble on a couple of spin moves and power rushes where his man got into his body and pushed past him (he held on one of these plays). He seems to have some trouble finding a man to block at the 2nd level.

Brandon Gibson had to sit out the second half of the week and the game due to injury.

Quan Cosby (WR, Texas) was drafted by the Angels a few years back. I thought he looked good in college, but now I think he sucks.

Rhett Bomar (QB, Sam Houston St) is inconsistent on his throws and was too quick too tuck and run. Plus, he got booted out of Oklahoma for having some fake job I think.

And I’ll wrap this up with my thoughts on Graham Harrell (QB, Texas Tech). I have nothing against Harrell, but he can’t make any throws to the outside or down the field. I think he underthrew every ball that wasn’t some slant over the middle. I heard him comment later that his biggest strength was accuracy. I think it’s time you take a good long look in the mirror young man.

Senior Bowl Notes

Everybody's been wondering when I am going to share my findings from the Senior Bowl. Well, the time has come. I have watched the game on my DVR and I am ready to offer up some thoughts. First off, the turnout was a little disappointing due to injuries and a few key players backed out. Also, many of this year's top prospects are underclassmen (Crabtree, Stafford, Sanchez, etc). That being said, there were still some intriguing players out there and Graham Harrell too.

Now, please keep in mind that I am unable to comment on the week of practice (which "experts" would tell you is the most important part of the Senior Bowl). I added NFL Network to my cable lineup the day of the game, so I did not DVR the practice sessions. So what you're getting here are my thoughts on the actual game along with a few notes about what other "experts" mentioned about the practices. I'll post my notes as a comment on this post so as to save space on the front page.

Breaking News: Dave Sims wants Bat Added to Mariner Lineup

Speaking to a close source Mariner Play by Play announcer Dave Sims communicated the need for the Mariners to acquire another power hitter. Not speaking anonymously Sims said, "Mazel tov on the nuptials. Great pix. I look forward to meeting your bride. You are keeping weight too. Good for you. Looking forward to seeing you all on March 1. On another front: I hope we get a bopper for the lineup." Clearly Z will be looking to follow the advice of his important club executives and I can only hope this means Barry Bonds.

On an interesting note, Sims has been the Ms announcer for 2 years now, but lists his Facebook network as New York.

2.04.2009

The REAL # 7 scores!

Apparently Zach Gilford (aka Matt Saracen, aka most overlooked actor on televison) is dating ex-Seahawk (cheerleader) legend Amber:

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2009/extramustard/02/04/amber-lancaster-zach-gilford-dating/index.html

I couldn't be prouder.

2.03.2009

More Michael Phelps fallout...

I discovered this video online of a distraught little boy... clearly an M-Phelps fan. Poor kid:




I think he speaks for all of us.

TD Celebration

So in all of the craziness surrounding the last few minutes of the Super Bowl something is being overlooked ... Santonio Holmes' stupid celebration. In case you missed it, he mimicked LeBron James' pregame preparation, pretending that the ball was that bottle of chalk, dumping it into his hands and then clapping.

This was a great celebration the first time I saw it, when Nate Burleson did it last year against ... Cleveland. That's the only city it makes sense to do it in because you're making fun of LeBron's pregame ritual (which he stole from KG anyway right?) and riling up the fans. Here's a few instances when it wouldn't make sense:

1. After you've made the biggest catch of your career.
2. After you've just helped your team win the Super Bowl.
3. When you're playing against Arizona in Tampa, Fl.
4. After somebody else already did it, rendering it completely unoriginal.

What an idiot.

BREAKING NEWS: Marijuana Used at College Party


.... Shocking.


Ok, I know this story has been overdone already but there's a few things that bother me here.

First, how does Phelps not think, "Oh wait, that guy has a camera, I guess I won't smoke this weed right now." I guess he was REALLY fiending for it. But if that's the case wouldn't you take the bong hit, then proceed to grab the camera and smash the shit out of it? I mean is anybody going to believe this story:

-Yeah dude, Michael Phelps was partying at our house. I smoked him out, but then he got angry and smashed my camera so I don't have proof.

I think he would have been safe.

Secondly, I've heard that now the Sheriff's office in South Carolina wants to press charges on him. If they really wanted to catch drug users and can use pictorial evidence as grounds to arrest someone why not just comb through the U of South Carolina facebook database. I'm sure they could find some offenders there.